Condolences

[black velvet]

Have you ever had to offer that to someone? I mean most times you can say Ilahey ha unaxaristo and be silent. Lakin when the person is in another continent and it's over the phone, so you can’t hug them or hold them and it's someone you really care about, how do you know what to say? I mean are you supposed to just be quiet and listen? Cry with them, are you supposed to help them forget, help them remember? Lighten the mood make them laugh? I mean how do you even begin to make someone feel better about their mom dying?

I suppose you can't

[Alas!]

Yeah. It's hard. I had to deal with a crying friend the other day over the phone, I was practically speechless, like in a bad way. I suppose telling them that death isn't the end helps a bit, and that also crying for a deceased person doesn't really help them, prayers do. Expect to look like an insensitive jerk. Don't forget to listen.

...

This can only mean you've tried and failed.

[Hyperactive]

no point to cry over the phone.lol
just call and say: Allah o nahareesto and sabir Allah naka seeyo, etc.
i really dont know much how to do it in somali but arabis go like:
baqa be 3omrah,dolat 3omr lek, kolana laha, Allah yarhamah and yanawar lah/laha qabr. etc.

[hanad_mn]

Explain to the Person that NO one loved her Mum mother than Allah and Allah knows what was best for her. Give the Person some hope that their loved one is in Jannah which is a better Place to be. Mention the persons Good deeds like Sallah, sawm and sadaqa. If the Person didn't have any of those Good deeds in their Resume, Just tell them allaah ha unaxariisto and Ask them about other topics like how got married recently, who is dating who you know how girls gossip around.

[hanad_mn]

no point to cry over the phone.lol
just call and say: Allah o nahareesto and sabir Allah naka seeyo, etc.
i really dont know much how to do it in somali but arabis go like:
baqa be 3omrah,dolat 3omr lek, kolana laha, Allah yarhamah and yanawar lah/laha qabr. etc.

Afsoomaali goes Like hadii qof noolaanaayo lakana Rasuulullaahi Xaya. ama hadii qof loodayn lahaa aduunka, khayru khalqillaahi ayaan laga wadeen.

[snoop12]

Have you ever had to offer that to someone? I mean most times you can say Ilahey ha unaxaristo and be silent. Lakin when the person is in another continent and it's over the phone, so you can’t hug them or hold them and it's someone you really care about, how do you know what to say? I mean are you supposed to just be quiet and listen? Cry with them, are you supposed to help them forget, help them remember? Lighten the mood make them laugh? I mean how do you even begin to make someone feel better about their mom dying?

I suppose you can't

you always say allah ha unaxariisto! try to be compassionate and understanding, try to make them remember allah and that it is allah that gives and takes life

have you noticed, in funerals the murxums family are the ones who cock the meal and invite people? that is totally wrong, its suppose to be the visitors who bring food and take care of the person for 3 days and after that the tacsi ends

[Firefly]

I couldn't have said it better than snoop12.

black-velvet:- Sabr sis, insha-Allah...

Ilahay ha uu naxariisto inti dhimatay. Ameen. We're not that far behind either..

[sO_sO_Qatar]

Its really hard wallahi, My friends mum recently died and i didnt kow what to say or do..

[Rabshoole]

Aun, losing a mother is never an easy thing to forget, Theirs really nothing much you can say other than help her remember that we're all headed the same way, and that we all have to face death sooner or later.

[sO_sO_Qatar]

[quote="Rabshoole"]Aun, losing a mother is never an easy thing to forget, Theirs really nothing much you can say other than help her remember that we're all headed the same way, and that we all have to face death sooner or later.[/quote]

True say..
Loosing ur mum recently and having no dad around can be hardd.. I do help her

But may allah make it easy for her and her family..

[Ni Hao]

Have you ever had to offer that to someone? I mean most times you can say Ilahey ha unaxaristo and be silent. Lakin when the person is in another continent and it's over the phone, so you can’t hug them or hold them and it's someone you really care about, how do you know what to say? I mean are you supposed to just be quiet and listen? Cry with them, are you supposed to help them forget, help them remember? Lighten the mood make them laugh? I mean how do you even begin to make someone feel better about their mom dying?

I suppose you can't

What a load of cobblers!...Not to mention coming acrrose as a pretentious lil xalimo, who think expressing your feeling like the whities is the wayas if, it is Siraa tal mustaqiin!

[1nemansquad]

..walahi i'm really and truely bad at this, i cannot give condolences to people; i wouldn't know what to say to them and its not because i'm heartless or i don't care but its because i couldn't imagine how they are feeling so there isn't much to say

[Sir-Luggoyo]

A simple Allaha u naxariisto will suffice, but with a voice that carries sympathy and concern.

Just don't do it like the Sujui boy. He went with two of his Walendo friends who were going to comfort this Somali woman whose son died. When they finished with whatever they wanted to say, the Sijui boy came and literally translated the Swahili version of condolences "Pole" which in Somali sounds like "Iska Raali ahow" so he said to the grieving woman 'Eedo Iska Raali ahow"

Woman was like WTF did u kill my son?"

[Navy9]

BV,

Its quite hard, the first time I ever paid my condolences to someone was when I was in high school. My classmate's mother died, it took me a whole day to tell him my condolences.