SINGLE PARENT HOUSEHOLD IN OUR COMMMUNITY

surrender · Post by **surrender** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:24 pm

has increased. walahi sometimes i ask myself how are these women giving birth every yr when the fathers is no where to be seen. maxaa jira!? i mean i always see mothers at school, hospitals, at the job center, post office que, super market, paying bills. this is not for everyone as i have seen famalies where fathers are around, or ones the father hae passed away. but where are the rest of the dads? maxaa xaaqay? me and my mates were dicussing this after we came from interesting islamic talk. one stated that is because of british government giving and teaching mothers (somali mothers in this case) a way they can raise their children without their husbands, and its the western culture's fault for giving mothers money, housing, education and everyting so they wont feel like they dont need no man in the house. thats interesting perspectives as i never looked at it that way!!

and anyways if thats the case, whats stopping fathers to still be there for their children.? to actually be physically be with their chidren?

but more importantly what are the causes and the solutions to his growing social ill we have?

discuss!!!

STOP! · Post by **STOP!** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:26 pm

WE NEED TO LEARN THE DEEN AND START PRAYING SINCERELY TO ALLAH, THATS THE SOLUTION!

Niya · Post by **Niya** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:30 pm

Surrender, they majority are deadbeat dads, khair masuul when it comes to their children. It is a shame. I am amazed how some feel they if and (when) they pay 'masruuf' that they have accomplished their parental responsibilities. I also blame the women popping kids as if they are in a race with rabbits. Somali women need to find a new source to get their self esteem &should quit measuring their worth on being married and having 10 urchins!

surrender · Post by **surrender** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:31 pm

stop: of course but dont you think somali fathers need to take serious role in bringing up their children? and find a way they provide for their famalies so the mother dont have to rely on caydh!!?

STOP! · Post by **STOP!** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:35 pm

Niya wrote:Surrender, they majority are deadbeat dads, khair masuul when it comes to their children. It is a shame. I am amazed how some feel they if and (when) they pay 'masruuf' that they have accomplished their parental responsibilities. I also blame the women popping kids as if they are in a race with rabbits. Somali women need to find a new source to get their self esteem &should quit measuring their worth on being married and having 10 urchins!

THE SOURCE IS THE QURAN AND THE SUNNAH.

surrender wrote:stop: of course but dont you think somali fathers need to take serious role in bringing up their children? and find a way they provide for their famalies so the mother dont have to rely on caydh!!?

YOUR RIGHT ON THAT BUT SOMALI MEN NEED STRONG WOMEN, WELL UNFORTUNATELY WE DNT HAVE STRONG SOMALI WOMEN!

surrender · Post by **surrender** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:39 pm

Niya true say. but sadly there is nothing a women can do. i mean afterall she cant stop giving the children food and place to sleep and so on, and the only way she can achieve that (if the father is not working) is by claiming benefit. i always wanted to ask a sheekh if its ok to say no to your husband-im not having no more children for you because khayrul masuul baatahay!!

surrender · Post by **surrender** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:40 pm

STRONG in what term stop?

SummerRain · Post by **SummerRain** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:41 pm

Rii walba meeshe is dhigto ba lagu goraaca. I really sometimes can't sympathize with these women, b/c they let it happen to them. THey choose to live in low income homes, be on food stamps and other assistance, and have babies every year with the same deadbeat who can't and will not support her.

Women need to have goals for their families esp if they have kids. THey need to make it clear to these men they marry, what roles each one will take to advance their family.If he is willing, he will stay and if not, they need to show him the exit door. However, if her only concern is a warm body next to her on a cold night, then unfortunately, family values are compromised, and the result will be a broken home and more children let down by retarded parents.

Again, its up to women, what kind of family they raise and what kind of man they choose to share it with. Mistakes will be made at times, but there is always a way to fix and learn from them. But if the same women is having a baby with the same deadbeat them its her fault for what she is going through and putting her children.

STOP! · Post by **STOP!** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:43 pm

surrender wrote:STRONG in what term stop?

LIKE NOT LOSING UR MAN FOR THIS WORLD....IF YOUR A WOMAN AND U CANT KEEP UR MAN HAPPY, DEN YOUR NOT STRONG...IN THAT TERM!

Kolombo · Post by **Kolombo** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:46 pm

It was the same way in Somalia and still is. Men only had to provide the income, whereas the mother had to do everything else.

Like Niya said, women need to grow a back-bone & handle their business, 'cause no man who's been used to a life of servitude is going to suddenly find his concience and cut his wife some slack. In the West, its actually very easy since many women are already receiving welfare, what's his contribution to the household? Or let's say both spouses are working, how's he special? If he doesn't want to be a man & take care of his responsibilities, show him the door. Simple.

Its really not the end of the world to ditch an incompetent boob. Its not the end of your life if you break it off and concentrate on yourself & kids. That's what these women need to realize. Shit happens. Call 9/11 on his skinny ass and get a restraining order, every month cash that child support check and get your nails done with it. That's what a close relative of mine finally did.

Post by **FAH1223** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:47 pm

Ismahan123 wrote:Rii walba meeshe is dhigto ba lagu goraaca. I really sometimes can't sympathize with these women, b/c they let it happen to them. THey choose to live in low income homes, be on food stamps and other assistance, and have babies every year with the same deadbeat who can't and will not support her.

Women need to have goals for their families esp if they have kids. THey need to make it clear to these men they marry, what roles each one will take to advance their family.If he is willing, he will stay and if not, they need to show him the exit door. However, if her only concern is a warm body next to her on a cold night, then unfortunately, family values are compromised, and the result will be a broken home and more children let down by retarded parents.

Again, its up to women, what kind of family they raise and what kind of man they choose to share it with. Mistakes will be made at times, but there is always a way to fix and learn from them. But if the same women is having a baby with the same deadbeat them its her fault for what she is going through and putting her children.

waa xaadis

Macaaney_1991 · Post by **Macaaney_1991** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:48 pm

because they are doqon jaat chewing f!ckers.... who waste their time doing nothing
qalbiga nigala wasye.....worthless idiots!!!!!!

Post by **AbdiWahab252** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:49 pm

Ismahan123 wrote:Rii walba meeshe is dhigto ba lagu goraaca. I really sometimes can't sympathize with these women, b/c they let it happen to them. THey choose to live in low income homes, be on food stamps and other assistance, and have babies every year with the same deadbeat who can't and will not support her.

Women need to have goals for their families esp if they have kids. THey need to make it clear to these men they marry, what roles each one will take to advance their family.If he is willing, he will stay and if not, they need to show him the exit door. However, if her only concern is a warm body next to her on a cold night, then unfortunately, family values are compromised, and the result will be a broken home and more children let down by retarded parents.

Again, its up to women, what kind of family they raise and what kind of man they choose to share it with. Mistakes will be made at times, but there is always a way to fix and learn from them. But if the same women is having a baby with the same deadbeat them its her fault for what she is going through and putting her children.

Ismahan,

You need to make a wacdi

SummerRain · Post by **SummerRain** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:53 pm

surrender wrote:Niya true say. but sadly there is nothing a women can do. i mean afterall she cant stop giving the children food and place to sleep and so on, and the only way she can achieve that (if the father is not working) is by claiming benefit. i always wanted to ask a sheekh if its ok to say no to your husband-im not having no more children for you because khayrul masuul baatahay!!

Tell the mudafack, you aint touching me...ask a sheikh kulaha.

Post by **AbdiWahab252** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:56 pm

Ismahan,

Surrender doesn't realize that her Sheik is also running the "Single Mother" gambit too

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