Mad Scientists!

[Paddington Bear]

In the movies and popular literature, there have always been stories of mad scientists and the crazy schemes or inventions they concocted. Marry Shelly’s Frankenstein, Murphy’s Nutty Professor or Anakin Skywalker’s C-3PO!



In today’s world it is difficult for such scientists to exist. Issues of ethics, morals and the rights of the creatures they experiment on (weather human or animal) prevent this kind of scientist from strutting his stuff. Of course, there are some low level nutcases around but they are nothing like the stuff of our dreams. For example, a recent experiment on mice on the problem of spinal injuries found a cure through the use of blue food dye! The side effect of the cure was that the mouse’s eyes, legs and nose turned blue! In all other senses, the mouse (allegedly) was healthy and fully recovered.


When you hear about a story such as that of the mouse, you wonder what other abominations these scientists have in those secure labs of theirs! You wonder if the animals rights groups were right all along. You find yourself thinking about the ethics of the whole thing and if it is fair to experiment on animals so that humans can find cures for their own illnesses. But that’s just the philosophical part of anyone’s musings. The real important questions arise when you start thinking of novel and new experiments that can be done! It is even more fun when Frankenstein crosses your mind.

I thought about this and, being the boring old fogey that I am, I decided to stick with the animal theme. What about crossing a lion with a tiger? I googled the idea and discovered that such a thing already exists! Ok. Ok. How about crossing aaaaa....Donkey with a Zebra? Yes, That too exists! Hmmmmm..how about...cross breeding a...mmm...mmm...oh yes! This is a good one and closer to all our hearts too..how about crossing a camel with a llama? Damn! They already did it too.


It seems that the animal thing is not as exciting as I initially thought. I may have to daydream about experimenting on humans. I can’t bring myself to even think about crossing a human with a monkey, donkey or lizard. The idea of a newborn baby with eagle wings, whilst appealing, is not very practical either (the poor kid will get teased at school). A woman with three breasts is nothing but a distraction. A man with extra genitals is a silly idea. Eternal youth is no good. A nomad with a hump is a fact of life....

How in the world could I experiment on humans?

Aha! How about if I cross breed Somalis? Bear in mind that in the case of animals the final product of cross breeding is (almost) always sterile! Anyway, what would you say would make the best combination? Which mix would give us the supreme Somali specimen? A northern Somali/Southern Somali hybrid? A PL/DJ mix? What do you think?


(Don’t mind me. I am letting my stream of consciousness run with me here).

[1_londoner]

Where Is Maad Scientist?

Miss Her.