hypothetical Question

[Addoow]

ASC
Lets say you are a mother/father of 20 something girl,she is basically ready for marriage and a decent guy approaches you in the right way and asks you her hand.You invite him to your house to know more about his family background ,educational achievement and many more.After asking the required Questions,you come to know the guy is responsible enough to be your son in law.but there is some problem,He doesnt want to pay a single penny as dowry even though he is capable of everything.he claims he will cherish your daughter and stand by her in good or bad times.


As a parent would you allow him and consider that decision as appropriate? will you consider him a strong man or weak one?

[The_Patriot]

ASC
Lets say you are a mother/father of 20 something girl,she is basically ready for marriage and a decent guy approaches you in the right way and asks you her hand.You invite him to your house to know more about his family background ,educational achievement and many more.After asking the required Questions,you come to know the guy is responsible enough to be your son in law.but there is some problem,He doesnt want to pay a single penny as dowry even though he is capable of everything.he claims he will cherish your daughter and stand by her in good or bad times.


As a parent would you allow him and consider that decision as appropriate? will you consider him a strong man or weak one?

Y not?
If the girl wants him if you say no she might end up eloping with him so the best thing is to easen for them what is Xalaal.
As long as this guy would look after her and has the means, Dowry should be a secondary subject.
For your info the Dwory is not even paid on the spot.

[HELWAA]

Just say..hit the road jack.

[muslim-man]

Paying for dowry is not a choice, its a religious obligation. And a father has the right to refuse a man who refuses to pay a dowry although he can afford it.

He has to pay something, even if its $50. Because it must have some sort of a value. The bogus practice of a Qur'an book as a dowry doesn't fly either.

As a father and faced with this, I'll probably show him the door. I hate cheap people and if he's being this cheap now, God knows what he'll do when my daughter has to rely on him.

[Cirwaaq]

Who said Dowry is the parents decision?

Dowry or Mehir is a request made by the bride to be and if she so desires it she can ask for you to teach her the quran over her life time. WHat she asks must be reasonable and it is purely her decision no one else may prompt her or tell her what to ask for.

Hope that fixes the issue for you?

[surrender]

but he has to pay dowry if he can afford. what a crazy world.

if i was the parent, and found that he can afford just refused with no proper excuse, adeediis albaabka iisiiriix markaad baxaysid baan kudhihilaahaa. my daughter is worh 100 camels and no less. waslaam.

[HELWAA]

Paying for dowry is not a choice, its a religious obligation. And a father has the right to refuse a man who refuses to pay a dowry although he can afford it.

He has to pay something, even if its $50. Because it must have some sort of a value. The bogus practice of a Qur'an book as a dowry doesn't fly either.

As a father and faced with this, I'll probably show him the door. I hate cheap people and if he's being this cheap now, God knows what he'll do when my daughter has to rely on him.

indeed.Bakhaylka ugu daran.

[Addoow]

Paying for dowry is not a choice, its a religious obligation. And a father has the right to refuse a man who refuses to pay a dowry although he can afford it.

He has to pay something, even if its $50. Because it must have some sort of a value. The bogus practice of a Qur'an book as a dowry doesn't fly either.

As a father and faced with this, I'll probably show him the door. I hate cheap people and if he's being this cheap now, God knows what he'll do when my daughter has to rely on him.

Where does it say you have to pay huge sums of money and enrich your inlaws?? He isnt cheap,he is smart successful man but he doesnt want to conform to the culture.

[The_Patriot]

Women always make things difficult for their daughters no wonder they end up with wagwan.

[Addoow]

but he has to pay dowry if he can afford. what a crazy world.

if i was the parent, and found that he can afford just refused with no proper excuse, adeediis albaabka iisiiriix markaad baxaysid baan kudhihilaahaa. my daughter is worh 100 camels and no less. waslaam.

Well,you have turned him down right,he may convince her and elope with her then knock her up and send her to you,karma is b!tch.just think about this.

I had this conversation with my friends who are mostly finishing thier studies and we will agreed this dowry/100 camel practice is evil and backward i think we all made our minds up.
there are some stupid parents whose main objective is to enrich themselves at the expense of thier son in laws.
What is the point of paying such huge ransom and become divorced after 3 months.

[muslim-man]

Nobody said it has to be huge sums of money, but from memory, the hadith said the dowry must be something of value. You first have to understand the logic behind a dowry, its not to bankrupt the groom, nor is it to enrich the parents. Dowry is a nest egg for the bride and if a groom is unable to pay it up-front, the religion has made it easy for him and said he can pay if he ever divorces his wife, if he doesn't, he doesn't have to pay. But if he chooses to, he can pay up-front and pay to the bride herself or even her family, their choice. As long as its something with a value, it will do. Its not a cultural practice, its a religious requirement.

[Addoow]

Women always make things difficult for their daughters no wonder they end up with wagwan.

And girls complain when they hit their late 20 that there isnt enough good men out there.

[LobsterUnit]

i would beat the crap out of for trying to marry my daugter for free. how dare he have to audacity. .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[The_Patriot]

For your info we are not in Somalia but in the west.

So as long as you see the guy is good and comes from a decent family then It would not be advisable to reject him.

If he insists on not paying the dowry then it would be rude, since he should have negotiated a bargain with her in the beginning.

On onether note if the Daughter does not want him or know him then the easier it is to say a no and hit the Road Jack.
But if they know each other then you better be a realistic parent.

[surrender]

but he has to pay dowry if he can afford. what a crazy world.

if i was the parent, and found that he can afford just refused with no proper excuse, adeediis albaabka iisiiriix markaad baxaysid baan kudhihilaahaa. my daughter is worh 100 camels and no less. waslaam.

Well,you have turned him down right,he may convince her and elope with her then knock her up and send her to you,karma is b!tch.just think about this.

I had this conversation with my friends who are mostly finishing thier studies and we will agreed this dowry/100 camel practice is evil and backward i think we all made our minds up.
there are some stupid parents whose main objective is to enrich themselves at the expense of thier son in laws.
What is the point of paying such huge ransom and become divorced after 3 months.

wax faham horta, are you talking about huge sums of money or dowry in general? no one is saying that the man has to pay huge amount, is whatever they agree on. but dowry is a must. waxaa fiican dadku inay diinta bartaan before getting married, it will help a lot.