Purpose of many kids

[GacanSareeye]

In the quran or hadiith, as well as Arabic literature, as well as supplications, children are called ‘quratu ceynin’ , which affirms the love, admiration, and joy kids bring to their parents. Their innocence and beauty means the world to their parents when they are babies while hoping for their blessings when they mature. But lately I have noticed Somali families that have a lot of kids miss this simple purpose and opportunity. It seems like they have a quota to meet without regards to their kid’s future, beauty, and intactness. I have been to several homes where the children are more than 4 kids and its miserable. There are limits to when things are revered and not taken for granted. And at max, 4 is that limit. Somali parents that have more than 4 kids are disorganized, smelly, messy, and dirty. The one parent at home does not have the luxury to divided needed attention to a single kid (they are taken for granted) but opt to divide things between all of them, something that has no value or significance when it scarcely touches each individual. What is there to look at when all your kids have scratched faces, mudded by others, and you cant keep up with their tear and wear. What about their hygiene, the noise, and your home, how about not having enough income to supply all the kids with needed gifts and boosters and other accessories necessary for children. How will these short comings serve kids in their adult teens? How will they make up for this missed love and affection in later years?

[HELWAA]

Gacan saleeliy

Marka the point of ur little calaacal is pple should't have more then 4 kids....ma sidaasa

[GacanSareeye]

what is 'saleeliy' mise ookiyaalihii baa kaa dhacay

Helwaa, just based on my observation, that is how i feel. i could be wrong, or my study group was limited or not representative enough, but when i look at the moral underpinnings, the psychological benefits, and social and future implications, i think someone is better off when they have a small household that is manageable. why would you want to have 7 children when you cant support them all or have the time they require to succeed.

[HELWAA]

Orodo hooyada so waydi waxay saleeliy macnahedo tahay.

As for the kids, i think you forgot that is somthing you dont have any control over,
See, it's Allah who bless you with children...the best gift you can ever ask for.And HE is the one who only knows IF you gonna have any and HOW many.Wax kasta waa qoraal ma fahantey.Many mothers are struggling with their kids day and night all alone..may Allah bless them and reward them.Aamin.

What you can do for ur future children is mr saleeliy, is to be there for them and spend time with them.UR TIME is more important then all the toys in the world and expensive gifts.

[GacanSareeye]

Mr Saleeliy

ma saliid baad ka wadaa miskiinyahay. ma hadeer baad aniga wax maala yacni ah iigu diraysaa in aan hooyo oo ari la joogto saacadaan wiidiiyo, koley amaan kama wadide.

but Time is the concern. you dont have time to care for them, or to talk to them, or even see them. you think you will be home everyday when your kids need a bread. you can control how many kids you can have. i know the ayah that says you shouldnt fear poverty to have more children but what about if having many kids is the same as being abandoned. what because of that missing natural link those kids are more harm to society later than they are a benefit. you just cant go to bed and wish for another kid, when you cant feed the 4 that are sleeping next door.

[Dhaga Bacayl]

Lol@sileeliy..my sister used to say that.


More than 4 kids id headache walee!

[GacanSareeye]

Dhega what does it mean. i know its a waqooyi thing. and i hope its not a feminine name

[Oxy-]

Nearly all middle class white families have no more than 2kids.

Cos they know more then that would deprive more quality time they could have with their current ciyaal - not 2mention lacagta !

[Basra-]

"Wax kasta waa qoraal ma fahantey'"


To continue Helwa's point-- i wonder--people who dont have kids-- unmarried women like Helwa or gay people--did God make them that way not to have kids or?I have always maintained that qanissniimo was invented to control population. ?



GacanSareeye

The 'smelly' household is hilarious. LOL Well, somalis see children as assets not as humanbeings.

[GacanSareeye]

i recently read about the difference between single and unmarried. single is associated with choice, and unmarried with reality. i think we should let helwaa be single b/c that is a compliment, whereas unmarried bumps her age little bit towards the north.

i am not saying i visit these families oftan, but one family is enough to get you off your seat. i am debating next time if i should just stand in the middle of the crowd and tell em like it is. not about having alot of children since that is too late, but hygiene and trying to make something out of the mess.

[Basra-]

GacanSareeye never address a single woman as 'unmarried'-- that shows a clear luck of decorum and edeeb. It hints judgement by emphasizing the unmarriedness.


And yes-- i think u should be a great UNCLE by suggesting a priority on household hygine.

[marcassmith]

Is it an issue of numbers or that the parents are incapable of looking after many children. Where does the blame lie?

[Basra-]

Mr. smith

I would guess, BOTH.

[marcassmith]

My understanding is that GacanSareeye is applying a western and a white standard of what constitutes family to Somali families in these countries - presumably - America, Europe etc.. Westerners have a tendencies towards achieving emotional as well as materialistic goals for their children. My view, simply, is that our way of living is different and that we must therefore be judged on our own standards of what constitutes emotional, simple purpose and opportunity.

Culture is a relative. All cultures are different and thus we must be careful not to subsume all cultures under a white, liberal and western understanding of family.

[GacanSareeye]

sometimes you cant do it wallahi. its so embarrassing. you can only bring them gifts and let them experience the world on their own. do you go the mother and say 'i think you should have less kids' b/c this person still has hopes of having children when the facts of on the ground are so disheartening. i would excuse them if this was Somalia but America. there is no mercy. girls, dont do something because you can, do it because you want to. i just cant watch my children shower with dirt, have my house messy all the time, and gave them as little time as they deserve.

Basra dabo, you are like five kids wrapped in one, so i dont know what your parents thought of you