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Hello guys
A friend of a friend has got this problem and ask me for an advice, since am not married, never have been married and with little experience with the ladies, i felt that I'm not the best person to give this guy an advice and though I know I'm taking a long shot i thought you guys my help. What advice would you give him if you were me?
The following is the guy's description of the problem in his own words:

I am sorry if I ramble on but I am upset about this and as I start to write the feelings just jump out.

My wife and I have been married for about 3 years. The only major problem I have with her is that she does not like to work (she admits this with little prodding). She doesn't like to have a job and this makes me very angry because I work 50 hours a week trying to make a good life for us and she doesn't help. The reason it is especially difficult is because we are having money problems right now (my once successful business is in a slow period due to economy) and if she was earning even a few hundred dollars a week working at Wal Mart that would be a big help getting our bills paid. Last year she wanted to be a massage therapist and I paid $9000 to send her to a 6 month school. She has not earned back even half of that and has quit working on it. She worked at an upscale spa/salon where she would come home exhausted after working 8 hours and she quit because it was too hard, even though she was making almost $800 a week.

Our house is not the neatest and I cook dinner at least half the time. What she does all day I don't know. She wants to have children and "be a mom", but I am afraid I will have to take care of the kids in addition to everything else with no help from her.

I don't believe in giving up but I am really starting to become angry and resentful. Any discussion of this results in a big argument and her stock reply is "I have to clean up after you all the time!" (I admit I am sloppy around the house). Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

If it is not something constructive keep your opinion to yourself.

pretend that your going down on her one night and smear basbaas shigniii (hot greeen chiliii) on her kooochie and see the results in 24 hours

Bro tell him that it is his responsibility to do work and bring in the money and clothe her and make sure she is taken care off, he is doing all the things right. She on the other hand doesn't have to work, and any money she makes is hers to do with as she wishes. Just tell the guy that he should cut down on non-essential things, smaller house, less going out to dinner and less shopping. This way you wont get any blame for it and if she wants to do that stuff she should work for it, and next time if she wants to do some kind of schooling or program she should pay for it, let her work for her own good, and make sure to be patient.

Ohhhhhhhh I wrote such good advice only it got deleted. Qadr allah,

My advice to your friend:

Is that it is not the duty of the wife to provide for the household, but living in the West has made it essential for two person to work for a good living (or so they say). Therefore, he can't really make her work Islamically, but what he could do is count to the last penny, and save everything else. That would mean she can't indulge, and honestly if she doesn't mind that then.....well there is nothing else going to make her want to work. Usually people dont like the idea of money being counted for them, and they love to indulge here and there, if a person doesn't want to earn their own money, why would they care about working and making money? I do believe she is being selfish with not helping him out even if she doesnt care about money, help the nomad out! Even doing a part-time job helps.

LOL at house not being the neatest and him cooking dinner half of the time, waab khatar ninka. Lol I really don't know what to say about that. Usually, cleaning should be taught to a person at a young age, seriously I've been trying to teach my cousin's daughter (11 years) ALL day today. I'm exhausted from shouting after her than anything else. People should be taught to clean after themselves as young as 6! When I was 7 years old, I was cleaning bedrooms (mine at first). By the time I was 9 I was babysitting, at 11 I was cleaning everything. Cooking is easier, you can do that older, you only need two years of practise under a good cook. I know this is what is generally expected of females, but I believe males should be able to do this too. At least it would help in cases like this!

Even if he's sloppy, she should be able to cover the cooking and cleaning. Lets face it, she is a lazy one.

Good advice guys

I thought this was the kinda guy women talk about when talking about ideal husbend. Women are funny, when they get the ideal husbend this is how they treat him.

Perfect_Order wrote:Bro tell him that it is his responsibility to do work and bring in the money and clothe her and make sure she is taken care off, he is doing all the things right. She on the other hand doesn't have to work, and any money she makes is hers to do with as she wishes. Just tell the guy that he should cut down on non-essential things, smaller house, less going out to dinner and less shopping. This way you wont get any blame for it and if she wants to do that stuff she should work for it, and next time if she wants to do some kind of schooling or program she should pay for it, let her work for her own good, and make sure to be patient.

PO said it all

Horta dadkan ma gaala mise waa muslin..the reason am askin waxa waye..

this

Last year she wanted to be a massage therapist and I paid $9000 to send her to a 6 month school. She has not earned back even half of that and has quit working on it. She worked at an upscale spa/salon where she would come home exhausted after working 8 hours and she quit because it was too hard, even though she was making almost $800 a week.

and this

She wants to have children and "be a mom", but I am afraid I will have to take care of the kids in addition to everything else with no help from her.

for some reason lazy girls turn me on

LoDoon wrote:Hello guys
A friend of a friend has got this problem and ask me for an advice, since am not married, never have been married and with little experience with the ladies, i felt that I'm not the best person to give this guy an advice and though I know I'm taking a long shot i thought you guys my help. What advice would you give him if you were me?
The following is the guy's description of the problem in his own words:

I am sorry if I ramble on but I am upset about this and as I start to write the feelings just jump out.

My wife and I have been married for about 3 years. The only major problem I have with her is that she does not like to work (she admits this with little prodding). She doesn't like to have a job and this makes me very angry because I work 50 hours a week trying to make a good life for us and she doesn't help. The reason it is especially difficult is because we are having money problems right now (my once successful business is in a slow period due to economy) and if she was earning even a few hundred dollars a week working at Wal Mart that would be a big help getting our bills paid. Last year she wanted to be a massage therapist and I paid $9000 to send her to a 6 month school. She has not earned back even half of that and has quit working on it. She worked at an upscale spa/salon where she would come home exhausted after working 8 hours and she quit because it was too hard, even though she was making almost $800 a week.

Our house is not the neatest and I cook dinner at least half the time. What she does all day I don't know. She wants to have children and "be a mom", but I am afraid I will have to take care of the kids in addition to everything else with no help from her.

I don't believe in giving up but I am really starting to become angry and resentful. Any discussion of this results in a big argument and her stock reply is "I have to clean up after you all the time!" (I admit I am sloppy around the house). Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

If it is not something constructive keep your opinion to yourself.

Looooool.. I'll marry your friend.

Ladie_x

send her to Alshabaab. 2 month of Alshabaab camp will do her good. she will be Begging to be his slave once she returned.

Saaxiibkaa waxaa ku tidhaahdaa:

Balaayo daaman la qabto ayey leedahay,ee dabo la qabto ma leh, Naagtaas intey goori goor tahay ha iska eryo, ha iska fasaxo yacni ha iska furo Haddii kale way la hadhi doontaa...Have you ever heard:

Kabane jebiso?

I am sorry but she has to go...

Divorce is the only feasible solution to this problem.

LoDoon wrote:Hello guys
A friend of a friend has got this problem and ask me for an advice, since am not married, never have been married and with little experience with the ladies, i felt that I'm not the best person to give this guy an advice and though I know I'm taking a long shot i thought you guys my help. What advice would you give him if you were me?
The following is the guy's description of the problem in his own words:

I am sorry if I ramble on but I am upset about this and as I start to write the feelings just jump out.

My wife and I have been married for about 3 years. The only major problem I have with her is that she does not like to work (she admits this with little prodding). She doesn't like to have a job and this makes me very angry because I work 50 hours a week trying to make a good life for us and she doesn't help. The reason it is especially difficult is because we are having money problems right now (my once successful business is in a slow period due to economy) and if she was earning even a few hundred dollars a week working at Wal Mart that would be a big help getting our bills paid. Last year she wanted to be a massage therapist and I paid $9000 to send her to a 6 month school. She has not earned back even half of that and has quit working on it. She worked at an upscale spa/salon where she would come home exhausted after working 8 hours and she quit because it was too hard, even though she was making almost $800 a week.

Our house is not the neatest and I cook dinner at least half the time. What she does all day I don't know. She wants to have children and "be a mom", but I am afraid I will have to take care of the kids in addition to everything else with no help from her.

I don't believe in giving up but I am really starting to become angry and resentful. Any discussion of this results in a big argument and her stock reply is "I have to clean up after you all the time!" (I admit I am sloppy around the house). Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

If it is not something constructive keep your opinion to yourself.

THere is a clear misunderstanding inthe roles they ought to play as husband and wife to make their union a success here. That is a conversation they should've had prior to getting married and at this point it seems each one is acting upon their own selfish desires. Best thing to do would be, to sit down and have a heart to heart convo about the reality of their marriage.

Uuff...what a disgusting couple...areeboyaal dhuuniyiin ah the pair of them

LoDoon wrote:Good advice guys

I thought this was the kinda guy women talk about when talking about ideal husbend. Women are funny, when they get the ideal husbend this is how they treat him.

Muahahahah

Don't advice him for he will blame you for the outcome.

Women are quick to forget a man can marry 4 times.

Women who look for the ideal man are all lazy to start with because the ideal man a sucker she can abuse while she behaves as though she is at her mother's house. What ever you tell him make sure you advice him to not have kids with that cow. She will trap him for life.

She home all day on chatrooms and forums or perhabs Jamac delivers her milk after the dude goes to work?