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Today I overheard this man say that in order to assert ones importance and dominance, a man must make a point of shouting at his wife and children regularly. Apparently fear is the corner stone of respect. What is sadder than the statement itself is that the man who was saying this actually believed it to be true. The guy was not joking around

I didn't know him so although I was tempted I stopped myself from arguing with a random Somali man on the street. Surely if you want a peaceful home to rest in the last thing you want is buuq iyo qeylo. I could picture him in his macawiis speaking at his wife "SHIB NAYAA I AM THE MAN OF THIS HOUSE".

If shouting and breeding fear made one a respected father and husband then it wouldn't be called abuse, physical, verbal or otherwise. Silly silly man, I wonder who taught him this stuff

Sad but I'm not surprised. I have a person like that in my life, who unfortunately life hasn't been easy to, and has reversed into the mentality he grew up with in somalia where children are beat senseless by there macalin and overly dominated by older and stronger siblings. But now as an adult throw tantrums like a two year old in pursuit of a fictional sense of respect . What can you do with these people: you use force but they're use to being beat senseless, you reason but they're overly emotional. In the end you realize they're just small people in a big world, don't waste your time.

I don't believe it. I doubt any decent man would shout his wife in public. That is so unmanly. I am not saying the sister is lying but I think a better story would make my night.

yeah bro you know how bv likes to make up things, manipulative, over-dramatic, close-minded-bigot, disagreable, and far from reality and definetly not down to earth is what comes to mind when you see blackvelvet innit

Perfect_Order wrote: In the end you realize they're just small people in a big world, don't waste your time.

So true. Lakin maybe they need counselling to work through their problems. Non white people and especially Somalis should get over their paranoia about psychology.

Udun I don't make stuff up. I might change the names and places to keep everyone involved anonymous other than that what you read is truth. Thank you for complimenting my creativity even though it was back handed

Perfect_Order wrote: yeah bro you know how bv likes to make up things, manipulative, over-dramatic, close-minded-bigot, disagreable, and far from reality and definetly not down to earth is what comes to mind when you see blackvelvet innit

Udun you misread her

I could picture him in his macawiis speaking at his wife "SHIB NAYAA I AM THE MAN OF THIS HOUSE".

obviously your not very good with english grammer or you would of known that

I kid BV

Psychology, how can you counsel someone who thinks they should be counseling the shrink, only illahay ba gargaari karo

Doesn't it amaze you sometimes how culture and Deen are so faaaaaar apart on some subjects? This is a classic one.

Islam tells us to show children mercy and kindness..and your spouse iyo dadkale oo dhan. Even to non-Muslims we're told to speak with them in a soft and gentle manner when inviting them to Islam...how can you shout at your own spouse and offspring marka?

Shouting doesn't earn you respect..granted sometimes you do need to raise your voice a little bit to show you're serious..but you have to exhaust other possible means of getting through to the person before you can even think of raising your voice at them.

Perfect_Order wrote:Udun you misread her

I could picture him in his macawiis speaking at his wife "SHIB NAYAA I AM THE MAN OF THIS HOUSE".

obviously your not very good with english grammer or you would of known that

I kid BV

Psychology, how can you counsel someone who thinks they should be counseling the shrink, only illahay ba gargaari karo

- I heard you. BV speaks better english than mine but may be too much into the women's progress thing. That is good itself specially in Somali society where we men should learn our shortcomings but it needs checks and balances where if it becomes the only that is guiding the family, it is very scary and dangerous. It needs to be contained within the religion's boundaries. What I didn't buy was a grown up Somali man would shout his wife like BV described and wouldn't notice the shame and less manhood that it would bring. Any how, I am not sure if there is any Somali woman in the west who would put up such a crap. Even back home they called it such occurance "eedow qor qode waa qayliyaa .... "

BlackVelvet wrote: "SHIB NAYAA I AM THE MAN OF THIS HOUSE".

udun iska amus its not only your grammer but your reading comprehension that needs work, she said she could picture him not that she actually saw him do it.

Perfect_Order wrote:udun iska amus its not only your grammer but your reading comprehension that needs work, she said she could picture him not that she actually saw him do it.

but I understood her main point so what is big deal? who are you to check people's english btw? You need attitude adjustment boy.

udun raali aho

ok bro. It is all talk remember.