Tips to live by

[milk_maan]

I read these some where

If you’re camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex..... Wish me luck; I appear in court next Monday.

I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today... Apparently the instruction “finish off on her face” didn't mean what I thought it did

One of life's great mysteries - How is it that a woman can insert a seven inch vibrator… IN THE DARK...... but she's unable to fit an eight foot car into a fifteen foot parking space IN BROAD DAYLIGHT?

Snow eh! The TV weather woman said she was expecting 8 inches tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance" with a face like that!'

I have a new chat up line that works every time!! It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I always end up in bed with them... Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'

Years ago it was suggested ' that an apple a day kept the doctor away ' But since many of the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works just as well!



I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks and “Mexicans” were not the correct answers.

[zulaika]

don't quit your day job son...

[milk_maan]

Futadaada u sheeg

[Paddington Bear]

don't quit your day job son...

(he got sacked he said. Pay attention now).

[ToughGong]

[zulaika]

don't quit your day job son...

(he got sacked he said. Pay attention now).

[SultanOrder]

@ seemeyer, where'd you get that?

I have a new chat up line that works every time!! It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I always end up in bed with them... Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'

[milk_maan]

Gix Gix gaws kuguma hadho
mid kasta oo Nin la'aan dhali weydey halkan bay nac-nac lasoo doonataa!!

[BlackVelvet]

So wrong