SAYING NO IS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS: THE GYPSY MEN WHO FIGHT TIL

[Daanyeer]

Saying no is a sign of weakness: The gypsy men who settle their disputes by fighting till they drop
By Daily Mail Reporter
9th February 2011


Throughout the current series of My Big Fat Gypsy Weddings, the cameras have been focused on the flowers, tiaras and over-the-top dresses.
But last night's episode saw a darker side of the culture - the violent way disputes are settled between the male members of the community.
Instead of talking it through, men with issues to settle will fight it out in front of a crowd - with some spectators even placing financial wagers on the match.
One fight on the Channel 4 show, featuring a young man called Dean and his rival, was similar to scenes from Guy Ritchie's 2000 film Snatch, which starred Brad Pitt as a Irish traveller Micky O'Neil.

While it may look like an impromptu violent outbreak on a stretch of Tarmac, the fights are so pre-arranged, there's even a 'fair play' referee to enforce a strict set of rules.

Explaining the rules, community leader Paddy Doherty said: 'A fight could last five minutes or two hours. you've got to fight till you drop.'
Although he used to fight for money, he now funds his life by tarmacking drives and selling second hand cars.

Remembering his early career, Paddy said: 'From the day I was born, I was bred to fight. If you say you want no trouble, they take it as a sign of weakness. You have to fight over your name.'
His wife Roseanne is relieved Paddy no longer fights because as a woman, she was banned from watching and used to stay at home worrying: 'We (women) just have to sit at home and worry about it. You used to sit and pray "bring him back safe".


The couple live in a chalet on site of the caravan park - which he runs on behalf of Salford council - which is decked out typically traveller style 'Versace effect', according to Roseanne, with marble and shiny surfaces.

Paddy and Roseanne had 10 children, but tragically only five survived - most having died in childbirth.
But Paddy shows a softer side when he visits the grave of his firstborn son Patrick, who was killed in a car accident alongside his cousins in 1996 when he was just 18.
Paddy buys a new car twice a year and always bring the new vehicle to Patrick's grave to show his son his dad's newest toy.

Every year, dozens of friends and family gather at the grave to celebrate Patrick's life on the anniversary of his death. They bring music and beer and have a party in the cemetery.

Poor healthcare provisions contribute to a shorter life expectancy for travellers. Shocking statistics show over half of travellers do not reach the age of 50.
As well as their own children, Paddy is also godfather to around 70 other children.

After attending the christening, Paddy was asked by the TV crew if he could be filmed pushing his new godchild's pram around and he refused.
Insisting no man would be seen with a pushchair or pram, he declared it would be an 'embarrassment'.
But one thing he does do away from the traveller male normal is go shopping with his wife for furniture.

He explains his fellow travellers would laugh at him: 'You just don't see it. It's not a man's role.'
When the subject of money is brought up, Paddy refuses to let his haggling be shown of camera, as travellers never discuss money.
He explained: 'No matter what you buy as a traveller, he'll never tell another traveller how much it costs.'
Meanwhile, the show returned to weddings as one traveller bride prepares for her big day.


But for hotel receptionist-turned-traveller wife Violet Anne, it looks like she's quickly tired of wedded 'bliss' just weeks after marrying.
Having married husband Larry at a relatively late 22, Violet gave up her job as a hotel receptionist in Leicestershire to become a 'kept woman' and housewife.
As it is not customary for traveller wives to work, Violet is now full-time cook and cleaner for her husband, who provides for them both financially.

After growing up in a house with her parents, Violet moves over 100 miles away to a caravan in Slough.

Being interviewed shortly after her wedding day, Violet reveals she is bored with her new life.
She said: 'This is where I spent most of the day. It's like a prison. I don't like it.
'I hate it where I'm at. I miss home. I hate being away from home. We could (hypothetically) put the trailer up near my parents' home but I leave it up to Larry to decide. It's in his place to decide.
'I never ever thought I'd miss work....'
When asked for advice she would have for the many teenage brides-to-be in the traveller community, Violet urged them to wait as long as possible.
She said: 'Wait for as long as you can and then get married. Too young to get married. Have a life first. Enjoy yourself and get it out of your system while you can.'
During her five years at the hotel, Violet kept her traveller identity a secret from her manager Sunni - only telling them the truth on her last day of work.
After she declares: 'I'm gonna live in a caravan... I am a gypsy,' a stunned Sunni said: 'You are..? Bl**dy hell... eh? Shocked me there a little bit. Everybody's got the pre-judgment.

'It's changed my opinion of gypsies if they're settled. In a work environment you can't have people moving on. She's always been reliable and dealt with the guest efficiently.'
But the episode wasn't always about the men - it also lived up to the show's name by including the lavish gypsy wedding between Cindy, 21, and Johnny, 22.
The lavish spectacle, which took place at a country estate, saw the groom arriving on a helicopter, while the bride drove up in a horsedrawn carriage.

The young couple got married outside in Beckham-style thrones with their wedding bands delivered to the priest by an owl named Spirit.
After tying the knot, Johnny boasted he 'owns' his wife and outlined her duties: 'The woman is in charge of cooking, cleaning, pampering the man. Looking after the man.'
The final episode of My Big Fat Gypsy Weddings is on Tuesday 15th February on Channel 4 at 9pm.


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