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Ok forum is dead and I'm sick of hearing about Osama and siyaasad so lets switch the subject

So topic is love and marriage. What's the relationship? Should one be in love before they get married? Does love only come after marriage? Does love even exist?

Lets discuss

You dont need to be inlove before marriage...just tawakal cala Allah.

Helwaa,

If love isn't the basis for marriage then what should it be?

To be honest, I never had this in love feeling since I was in High School. I don't think this exists before marriage per se. Definitely though I think there are folks that are a good match, are attracted to each others, and basically see a future with as a potential spouse. Now, lust and love are different, a lot of guys who say they're in love with a girl its really lust nothing more. My two cents.

Murax wrote:To be honest, I never had this in love feeling since I was in High School. I don't think this exists before marriage per se. Definitely though I think there are folks that are a good match, are attracted to each others, and basically see a future with as a potential spouse. Now, lust and love are different, a lot of guys who say they're in love with a girl its really lust nothing more. My two cents.

How does that work you had a love feeling in high school, and now you don't think it exists before marriage. So you think that love starts only after you tie the knot, and before that its only lust?

If it does exist, it's bound to pop up after the 10+ years of marriage.

Shirib wrote:

Murax wrote:To be honest, I never had this in love feeling since I was in High School. I don't think this exists before marriage per se. Definitely though I think there are folks that are a good match, are attracted to each others, and basically see a future with as a potential spouse. Now, lust and love are different, a lot of guys who say they're in love with a girl its really lust nothing more. My two cents.

How does that work you had a love feeling in high school, and now you don't think it exists before marriage. So you think that love starts only after you tie the knot, and before that its only lust?

Well when ur 14, 15 obviously You don't know anything. But yea, I mean the whole love thing before marriage doesn't exist, its bullshid. I guess when You marry a girl, She has Your kids, You see Her every day, get used to Her being in Your life ofcourse then, You'll 'love' her I guess and You won't be able to imagine lie if she wasn't there. Before that though, without those bonds there isn't love in my opinion.

Shirib wrote:Helwaa,

If love isn't the basis for marriage then what should it be?

Wax love la dhaha ma jiran huuno.If the couple understand and respect eachother thats all they need to make a marriage work.And once kids arrive well khalaas wad isku xanjeystihiin forever.

HELWAA

Don't you think you can develop strong affection and attachment to your husband beyond just understanding each-other and mutual respect?

In a marriage you share the good, bad, sad and happy times, affection, sex and security. That sort of bond can only be established in a marriage. Real love comes after a marriage.

You have to love the person to a level to trust them with all your life but love is something you fall in and out of, when people are in love there is respect and care which is a plus for a marriage. so its love first even if just a little then marriage

Executive wrote:HELWAA

Don't you think you can develop strong affection and attachment to your husband beyond just understanding each-other and mutual respect?

Affection? what kinda of affection are you talking about?

As for the attachment, if couples get attached to eachother, how come they walk away so easy from eachother when things get tough?

It all comes down to ur valus and believs and how you've been brought up.If you never wittnesed how a marriage should be like in ur childhood it's hard to have a succesful marriage.
Personally i think once you've children you should put ur selfishness, happines and needs aside and do everything in ur power to make ur marriage work.If there is no abuse, humiliation or addictions or a loser who doesnt want work aynu sheekada ku jirin.

HELWAA wrote:

Executive wrote:HELWAA

Don't you think you can develop strong affection and attachment to your husband beyond just understanding each-other and mutual respect?

Affection? what kinda of affection are you talking about?

As for the attachment, if couples get attached to eachother, how come they walk away so easy from eachother when things get tough?

It all comes down to ur valus and believs and how you've been brought up.If you never wittnesed how a marriage should be like in ur childhood it's hard to have a succesful marriage.
Personally i think once you've children you should put ur selfishness, happines and needs aside and do everything in ur power to make ur marriage work.If there is no abuse, humiliation or addictions or a loser who doesnt want work aynu sheekada ku jirin.

HELWAA wrote:

Executive wrote:HELWAA

Don't you think you can develop strong affection and attachment to your husband beyond just understanding each-other and mutual respect?

Affection? what kinda of affection are you talking about?

As for the attachment, if couples get attached to eachother, how come they walk away so easy from eachother when things get tough?

It all comes down to ur valus and believs and how you've been brought up.If you never wittnesed how a marriage should be like in ur childhood it's hard to have a succesful marriage.
Personally i think once you've children you should put ur selfishness, happines and needs aside and do everything in ur power to make ur marriage work.If there is no abuse, humiliation or addictions or a loser who doesnt want work aynu sheekada ku jirin.

We sure have a completely different outlook on love and marriage.