What is etiquette for Somali marriage

[IRONm@N]

For all those ppl who know Somali culture very well, what is the etiquette of Somali marriage?
How do you ask father for a daughters hand?
if he offers you, what did you give him? Yarat? sooriyad? how much does this cost?
do you talk to all family members or just the parents? what about uncles and aunts of the daughter?
what are the dos and the don'ts in this whole process?
How do you negotiate everything in your favor? (such as feasible Nikkah, date, location, where to live etc)
thanks!

[Voltage]

Don't you have older male relatives to guide you through the process?

[Advo]

I am really clueless about this subject too, I am not good at communicating with with somali elders besides basic, but when I do approach my future father in law inshallah Im gonna make sure to be on point, probably hire an old men from the community to walk me through with the vocabs. One thing I know for sure is odoyaals love comedy so Im gonna have to memorize few jokes from the 20th century.

[ina aadan]

Suldaankina iyo af-miinsharkiina kexee iyagaa dhamayn e.

[Voltage]

I am really clueless about this subject too, I am not good at communicating with with somali elders besides basic, but when I do approach my future father in law inshallah Im gonna make sure to be on point, probably hire an old men from the community to walk me through with the vocabs. One thing I know for sure is odoyaals love comedy so Im gonna have to memorize few jokes from the 20th century.

You don't talk or even ask for the girl's hand. Your male relatives and tribal elders do that. All you do is shut up, sit there, and let the old men banter back and forth. Also, going by yourself or without your male relatives such father, uncles, and tribal elders is a big sign of disrespect to the bride's father/wakiil

[IRONm@N]

Don't you have older male relatives to guide you through the process?

Well according to Islam, all you need is a sheikh to do the Meher, and give the girl her Nikkah, and that it,
But Somalis make it so complicated with Yarat, sooriyat, tribal rules and regulations, and many unnecessary waste of time, you can't expect ppl to know all that, not to mention we are westerners.

[Advo]

I am really clueless about this subject too, I am not good at communicating with with somali elders besides basic, but when I do approach my future father in law inshallah Im gonna make sure to be on point, probably hire an old men from the community to walk me through with the vocabs. One thing I know for sure is odoyaals love comedy so Im gonna have to memorize few jokes from the 20th century.

You don't talk or even ask for the girl's hand. Your male relatives and tribal elders do that. All you do is shut up, sit there, and let the old men banter back and forth. Also, going by yourself or without your male relatives such father, uncles, and tribal elders is a big sign of disrespect to the bride's father/wakiil

Phew, I can do that....just wear my khamiis or suit and just shake all their hands, sit at there and let the odeys talk.

That's a huge relief.

I do remember though at my sister nikax, them nyggas were just talking non stop and the dude just sat there stroking his beard.

[ina aadan]

Advo wali maadan tagin meel lagu bixinayo gabadh. Markii iigu dambaysa ee aan odayaal raaco waxan u raacay mid wagardhac ah oo gabadh isaaqa gursanaya bay ahayd, markasaa waxa nala socday oday wagardhac ah oo hadal badan, markuu is yidhahdo hadalba mid kale maa intuu ka kor hadlo aamusiya,,,,waayo hadii la daayo wuxuu dono buu iska odhan marka waxay noqotay in marwalba la aamusiyo.

[HELWAA]

Marka hore naagta la so heshii, ask her what she wants for meher (hadii kale meherka dhexdiisa ayey sheeko ka dhici), if she is the goldigger type amba wadaada markaas baad ogaan.Never accept Quraan as meher...( waliga ka bixi kari maysid masuuliyada, aakhirana way ku taala).
Go to ur father or uncles to do the job for you to ask her hand..laakin intaadan reerka waydiisan send ur female relatives to play COLOMBO and check her past.If she is clean then go forthur with the process.

Ps-If you've been around the block urself and played R Kelly skip the COLOMBO part.Because evr zaani will end up with zaania.

I hope that was helpful.

H.

[IRONm@N]

Marka hore naagta la so heshii, ask her what she wants for meher (hadii kale meherka dhexdiisa ayey sheeko ka dhici), if she is the goldigger type amba wadaada markaas baad ogaan.Never accept Quraan as meher...( waliga ka bixi kari maysid masuuliyada, aakhirana way ku taala).
Go to ur father or uncles to do the job for you to ask her hand..laakin intaadan reerka waydiisan send ur female relatives to play COLOMBO and check her past.If she is clean then go forthur with the process.

Ps-If you've been around the block urself and played R Kelly skip the COLOMBO part.Because evr zaani will end up with zaania.

I hope that was helpful.

H.

alright, I like that, but I didn't get the COLOMBO part!

[Advo]

@ Aadan

Yh man beesha wagardhac hadal weey haayaan, I dont know how that gene skipped me but ninyahow I have been isolated from Somali culture/community so alot of stuff like maherka wuu igu cusubyahay, I need to go more often just to observe.

[HELWAA]

Colombo..the best investigater

[IRONm@N]

so women are better in that department you say, but you know how women are, they find every little dirt, so I don't wanna go to deep into dirt.

[ina aadan]

Helwa

ninka maalin laga waraysanayay meel ban arkay, markasuu ill, lug iyo gacan iska saaray.

[HELWAA]

Iron

As i said, if you dont have clean past skip that part.Qof kasta wixi ilaahy o qoray un bu heli.
But sometimes knowing the truth about your other half saves you many headaches.



Ina aadan

Kuma fahmin..mu ill laa oo gacan laa?