The Search for White Gold LOOOOL

[AbdiWahab252]

I love Kenya

Desperate search for white ‘gold’

For many young Kenyans, marrying a white person is the ultimate financial dream. LINAH BENYAWA examines what it takes to acquire these supposedly moneyed spouses

Local women say white men are more romantic — noisy kisses and constant hugs — than Kenyan men whose idea of romance is taking them to bars to watch football and eat meat.

But few will admit that money is often at the centre of these relationships because it is presumed, especially by lasses who have never ventured beyond the border, that all foreign tourists are millionaires.

At the Coast, and in many other towns, such women will do anything to have a white foreign tourist fall in love with them.

From loitering at the beaches to wearing see-through tight fitting clothing and investing in foreign language classes, they will do everything to entice ‘rich’ white men.

And it is not just the women casting out fishing lines. Sinewy young men are also on the lookout and they, too, flock the beaches to try their luck and buy a ticket out of poverty, courtesy of ageing, lonely white brides.

Majority of the beach boys have dreadlocks, presumed to charm white woman, while young girls even pose nude in nightclubs to exhibit their ‘wares’.

Black magic

Not Mwalimu Rama. A beach operator since 1990 when he quit school to look for a white old woman, he realised he needed to up his game.

"After roaming the beaches in Diani unsuccessfully for ten years, I was forced to use black magic. Yes, I used charms," says Rama.

"Maisha ya beach na Mungu pekee yake huwezi faulu (you cannot succeed on the beach if you only depend on God). That’s why I crossed into Tanzania in search of potent charms," adds Rama.

According to Rama, the black magic is so powerful that when you go to scout for women on the beaches, you get noticed immediately.

As if to lend credence to his claims, when he went to the beach sufficiently fortified with charms, an Austrian female tourist got smitten and married him soon after.

It is a curious marriage, however, because he is also married to a local girl.

"My mzungu wife visits twice a year. When she is around, I kiss my Kenyan wife goodbye because I am always away with the Austrian for almost a month," he adds.

He says that the wife does not mind him staying with the white woman as long as her financial needs are taken care off.

"This is where I get money for basic needs, so there is no way my wife can be angry or jealous. She understands and is aware that the luxuries we enjoy come from her," Rama explains.

To secure his ‘investment’, Rama ensures to visit witchdoctors at least twice a month to increase the strength of the charms so that his white ‘wife’ continues to love him unconditionally.

Three white wives

He says it is just business. There is no love involved and one can have more than three white wives to maximise economic returns.

"We are at the beach because of money. I have my beautiful wife at home. There are no emotions involved here. This is pure business," says Rama.

He, however, has no intention of relocating to Austria because he fears the uncertainties involved.

Perhaps Hamisi Mohammed should have been as cautious.

When he equally used charms to entice a 51-year-old white woman, they got married and relocated to Germany.

"I was lucky. I only visited a witchdoctor once and when I went to the beach the next morning, I got a woman who was attracted to me. We decided to get married and move to Germany," says Mohammed.

But their stay in Germany ended in tragedy when his wife got sick and died.

That was the beginning of his problems. He was deported because he didn’t have a work permit and his stepchildren didn’t want him around.

Fortunately, they had a joint account and the money was shared between him and the stepchildren before he came back to Kenya.

"I received about Sh9 million, but I misused it and right now I am broke. I do manual jobs for a living," he adds.

But he is optimistic that when he gets enough money to see a witchdoctor, he will be wired with charms again to successfully scout for another white woman.

Crazy Monday spoke to Kazungu Kalume, a witchdoctor in Mtwapa, and he says fixing love is child’s play.

Are you crazy over a man or a woman who doesn’t want you? Does he or she visit and then deny you conjugal rights?

Have you been together for long and it seems they are wasting your time because they are neither proposing nor saying yes? Are they cheating on you?

"Small problem," says Kalume. "I will prepare herbs and your problem is over."

But nothing comes easy and for the treatment to be successful, one is supposed to bring saliva, fingernails and hair of the person she or he is intending to make them fall in love with, or propose.

Perhaps spitting or biting your fingernails on the beach may not be such a good idea after all.

"For the love potion to work, they are also supposed to bring me a chicken and either a sheep’s or goat’s head," he adds.

Finding ‘love’

Every day, he says, he receives more than 50 clients — both men and women — with the intentions of finding love.

"Beach boys visit with the intentions of finding white, rich women whenever they go to the beaches and, to be honest, this ‘treatment’ works because many always bring me tokens for a job well done.

"I have another treatment, which I administer to the eyes and I am telling you, once a beach boy’s eyes lock with those of a white woman, she falls in love on the spot," Kalume brags.

With 29 years experience, he sure has brewed a lot of love in an African pot and at Sh2,500 per treatment, he is laughing all the way to the bank.

Ironically, his clients, even after winning a white man — or woman — still keep Kenyan lovers or spouses on the side.

Men are known to keep parallel families here for social reasons. The women on the other hand ensure to visit Kenya for holidays every once in a while.

While their white husbands are busy soaking up the sun and photographing birds, the girls sneak off and reconnect with former lovers.

Mwanarabu, a former call girl who now resides in Germany with her husband, says whereas whites are hopelessly romantic, they are no match for local men sexually.

"Home is best. Why else do you think white women are always falling all over Giriama and Maasai men?

Our men may not kiss you on the street or hold your hand but they are endowed and have ‘strength’ that few white men can match," she says.

True to word, every December, she flies home with her husband and children and ensures to meet her long time boyfriend, a member of an acrobatic troupe for whom she has built a house.

For the Kenyan men and women who seek ‘white gold’, it is nothing personal — just business.

But many have rued the troubles they went to when it emerged that the men or women they presumed were rich were in reality lowly clerks and carpenters back home.

[Oxidant]

[AbdiWahab252]

I wonder what Meru thinks.

[Grant]

You should see the offers I get in the e-mail from Senegal and Ivory Coast.

[AbdiWahab252]

Grant,

White man's burden.


If it ain't white, it ain't right.

[Alchemist]

Grant,

White man's burden.


If it ain't white, it ain't right.

Lool

[Rabshoole]

[AbdiWahab252]

Grant,

Is Kenya on your bucket list ?

[gedo_gurl]

I see this every day....my African friends who married white women for this purpose all have local girlfriends, they hate having sex with white women...black vajajay and home cooking is just too good to give up...Its worse in TZ though. LMAO....white gold baa la yirri loool

[MrSinister]

cagli african

[Voltage]

And the older Somalis I know call Whites "faranfar' (lepers). How sad for those Africans.

[MrSinister]

You should see the offers I get in the e-mail from Senegal and Ivory Coast.

odaygan african seel buu ka dhargay

[gedo_gurl]

Voltage...didnt you read it? They hate them, its just a way out of poverty for them. A small number genuinely fall in love but these butt ugly cockney/German brutes I see with stunning African women are crazy if they think she wont have a real black man at home. They call them every name under the sun when they are with their own people...Some of the richer ones fund entire villages loool I just laugh at all of it.

[AbdiWahab252]

Gedogurl,

Mambo, ume potea ? Suga Mamis and Suga Daddies are part of the Kenyan Stimulus plan.

[gedo_gurl]

Abdi, vipi ndugu?!

Ndio nimepotea...nimemaliza degree yangu, halafu nimeanza kuandika novel...Hard work, Somalinet wastes time when you have so much to do before you reach 30.

LOL @ Stimulus plan LMAO...wallahi this is kawaida...they just milk them for all its worth. Some of the mama's are getting smart now and just pay them when theyre in the country. they take them to nice hotels, buy their food/drinks/clothes and when the holiday is over they just say 'until next time'. The thing is, when I was in Lamu I saw it FULL ON because its a gossipy little place...these wazungu mama's are pimps wallahi...young men aged 19 ruining their entire futures shagging these elephant footed grandma's who come 3 months of the year. So many women dont want to marry them after that. Its just the gaalo Kenyans who have a devil may care attitude to it...the Muslims thankfully see it for what it is...prostitution. I've chilled with enough 'rasta Muslim' beach boys and then decent people and I know they arent respected.