Lone child. .

[DisplacedDiraac]

Question to the sisters. . .

If you were getting married to a guy who was an only child, who only has one parent living.. Would you be alright with his parent *your mother-in-law* moving in with you two?
Would you automatically expect her to live with you?

[Beans]

Yes.Not automatically but i wouldnt be shocked if he wanted his hooyo to live with him.Imagine the kids having their ayeeyo at home.

[salool]

Markaad aroos tahay it's best to be alone with ur husband.

[DisplacedDiraac]

MashaaAllah @ Beans..

Markaad aroos tahay it's best to be alone with ur husband.

For how long? a few weeks? months? years?


The reason why I ask this question is.. I've noticed a growing number of Somali females are quick to divorce over this..
Surely you'd expect your man's mother to live with you since she doesn't have anyone.. If I was an only child best believe my hooyo would live with me!!

[salool]

MashaaAllah @ Beans..

Markaad aroos tahay it's best to be alone with ur husband.

For how long? a few weeks? months? years?


The reason why I ask this question is.. I've noticed a growing number of Somali females are quick to divorce over this..
Surely you'd expect your man's mother to live with you since she doesn't have anyone.. If I was an only child best believe my hooyo would live with me!!

Most women dont get along with their mother inlows and the husband always sides with his mother.Islaamo dhib badan ba jira.
My advice to you ladies never marry a guy who have only one or 0 sibilngs.

[Saraxnow]

Even though, there's always this complaint that mother-in laws can be jealous over their sons , but she'd be living alone so it would make sense for her son to have her live in his house.

[1_londoner]

Not a problem.

[mody21]

am kinda mamas boy wallahi I expect my wife to be to welcoming my mom with open arms seeing as I will most likely have my mom live with me when I get married.

[Beans]

MashaaAllah @ Beans..

Markaad aroos tahay it's best to be alone with ur husband.

For how long? a few weeks? months? years?


The reason why I ask this question is.. I've noticed a growing number of Somali females are quick to divorce over this..
Surely you'd expect your man's mother to live with you since she doesn't have anyone.. If I was an only child best believe my hooyo would live with me!!

Most women dont get along with their mother inlows and the husband always sides with his mother.Islaamo dhib badan ba jira.
My advice to you ladies never marry a guy who have only one or 0 sibilngs.

Are u serious Salool? How can someone justify refusing to marry based on that?

[salool]

Beans, horta i edited my post because i shared a personal story one of my relatives went throu, but i removed it out of respect.Wax yaalaha qaarkood should't be said here.

Walaalo i've seen to many women getting abused by their inlows with insults and humiliation.And a woman who marry a guy who he is attached to his mother, she will move in whether you like it or not.You've no say in this.
These men have been brought up differntly and been treated like kings their whole livs. The words no and or you're wrong dont exist in their vocabulary.It's either their way or the high way.
I know this female who even her mother inlow said to her, you're only here to serve me and my son and give us as many children as possible then you can leave.Her whole family adviced her to leave but she is still with him.Iyada oo only 17 ah bu guursadey, isaga iyo hooyadiba siday oo bahdilyen bay bahdi ka saaren.Hadaad tidhahdid meel ina keen, waxay ku oraneysa i'm not allowed to go out.She is not the same person any more.And she is not alone, many have been dominated by their inlows and treated like shit.Wax kastaana wa iska calaf, dadkuna isku mid maaha, laakin aniga i've yet to see a female who love her mother inlow.

[Beans]

Beans, horta i edited my post because i shared a personal story one of my relatives went throu, but i removed it out of respect.Wax yaalaha qaarkood should't be said here.

Walaalo i've seen to many women getting abused by their inlows with insults and humiliation.And a woman who marry a guy who he is attached to his mother, she will move in whether you like it or not.You've no say in this.
These men have been brought up differntly and been treated like kings their whole livs. The words no and or you're wrong dont exist in their vocabulary.It's either their way or the high way.
I know this female who even her mother inlow said to her, you're only here to serve me and my son and give us as many children as possible then you can leave.Her whole family adviced her to leave but she is still with him.Iyada oo only 17 ah bu guursadey, isaga iyo hooyadiba siday oo bahdilyen bay bahdi ka saaren.Hadaad tidhahdid meel ina keen, waxay ku oraneysa i'm not allowed to go out.She is not the same person any more.And she is not alone, many have been dominated by their inlows and treated like shit.Wax kastaana wa iska calaf, dadkuna isku mid maaha, laakin aniga i've yet to see a female who love her mother inlow.

That sounds horrible.

Every relationship will for sure have it is set of challenges and a daughter in,mother in law is even worse coz most are claiming one person.

Before a mother in law shares ur home,i fully expect the wife to have a say in it and her sharing the house should have a valid reason.There are bad people in this world but i would like to think there are great ones as well.

Maybe it is glossy from the outside,but i have seen people in this situation getting along very well.

[BlackVelvet]

Salool that is so sad.


To answer the question: of course. Despite what Helwaa said which can happen, I wouldn't marry a man who would let his ageing mother live alone or in an old people's home. She is his mother so she should always come first. That said, she would have to be a decent person who understands that as a human being I'd eventually get pissed off if she always put her son in the position of having to make me come second. If she's not reer magal enough to get that I wouldn't bother with her son.



btw Helwaa there's this lady I know, my mom aside she is the sweetest person I have ever met. I would have loved to have her as a mother in-law. She is very understanding and considerate to her daughter in-laws so much so that one lives with her and isn't planning on moving out. So they're not all bad. Ilahey too fican lee hanugu soo aadiyo, amiin

[salool]

Beans, all pple are not the same but i've seen the worst of them.Besides most mother inlows prefer living alone these days.I know this lady who liv in a bulding across me and she sell clothes, baayac mushtar wayan marmar ban wax ka ibsada.Can you imagin her daughter liv two blocks away, when i asked her why dont you liv with ur daughter, maxa cidladan ku dhigay,She said" 8 ciyaal ah so koriyey maxaa caruur kale i so arkay iyo buuqoga dadkan, i want injoy living on my own.Dumarka dhan aniga shaah i so doontan halkana sheekada gurna kute.
Living in the west has changed pple, and i doubt any ayeeyo will burden her son or daughter as long they're healthy they can liv on their own.


BV

I'm just against the whole idea of having someone in the next bedroom listning to all our activites.You know damn well how thin the walls are.

Inshallah mid miskiin ah ilaahy kugu so hagaajin.

[Beans]

Walls not being thick enough.

That is legit concern.

See there Salool,not all sodoh`s are bad.Some would rather have their own privacy as well.

What i just really dislike is when some women make their husbands make a choice.Why? She is his mother,she is her and u r u.

[DisplacedDiraac]

Most women dont get along with their mother inlows and the husband always sides with his mother.Islaamo dhib badan ba jira.
My advice to you ladies never marry a guy who have only one or 0 sibilngs.

I know a few females who avoid men with no siblings.. I guess they have more experience in this type of stuff and want to avoid it by all means.. But personally I couldn't do it..

My asian mates have sort of put me off living with a MIL.. The stories they tell me is pretty shocking to say the least..
From what I've seen in our community MIL dont seem to be that 'bad'.. All the MILs I know are rather sweet to their daughter inlaws.. My sister loves her MIL as she treats her just like her daughters or even better marmar ..