Did you grow up w/out a dad? I met mine recently.

[Daeneryss]

Okey lets start of with saying that my mother moved from Ireland (where she and my dad were living) to Denmark in the late 90's when they divorced with me. I was about 3 last time I saw him (don't even remember him). So all my life I'd though.. oh okey.. well maybe not having a dad will not affect me THAT much. yadayadaya... And then one time I caught myself fantasizing about father-figures in movies like Lord Stark in GoT or Sirius Black in Harry Potter, just fantasing that they were my dad. Walahi at that moment I felt so abandoned. I started thinking maan I wish I had a dad. I was about 12-13 then.

And when I was 14 years old, I noticed that my mother was acting strange. We had a 1 week of from school during Halloween and mother announced ''Okey, hiblayo we are going to visit your aunt who lives in Ireland. I notices something was off with her but did not ask. So about 2 days in when we were at my uncles house a guy and a woman comes to visit. It was my dad and his sister. I'm upstairs reading my philosophy book when my aunt comes up and says come down someone wants to meet you. I say okay. I come down and sit down at the living room. ''This is your dad and his sister'' my mother who was there says. I swear at that moment I resented my mother for a bit. Why did she not warn me? Anywho.. I can't even remember what we talked about this happened some years ago. The next day my dad and his sister took me shopping around the malls. I remember thinking, holy crap, this was NOT a good idea. And my mother INSISTED that I go with him. Walahi, aaniga waa hishooda, I don't like it when people I don't know want to buy CLOTHES for me. So we just went around looking. So i come back home after a couple of hours. The next day my mother says ''You'are going to sleep over at his house for a night''.

I was just thinking BISINKA! I don't even know this man. He was in the hallway with his sister so I could not just say, Hooyo are you out of your mind? (I don't know if you guys read my post from a long time ago, but there was this guy who was my step-aunts husbands brother. When I was 13 I saw him after not seeing him for about 3 years. Walahi in an instent I got soo many flashbacks. I remebered him with his hands down my then 6-year old male ''step cousins'' pants, whilst the mother was in the kitchen cooking afuur. He also was married to my mother for a couple of months). So I went to his house and ate dinner, It was okay I met 3 girls who were my age that i bonded with. And then another bomb hit me. I had a 4 year old half brother who was living in the same house...... turns out I had 2 other 6 year old twin step-brothers aswell... (he had them with a different women I guess). Only met the 4 yr old he was annoying. Anywho, the night before i was goning to leave he says ''I love you'', beyotch please!! I just turned around i went to my room to sleep. The I don't remember anymore. I guess he called about 2-3 times after i came back to Denmark than nothing more after that. I just turned that was 4 yrs ago btw.

Do you guys think I'm actually missing something? I just don't get is it THAT easy for people to abondened their small children......

[herndonhomer]

in somalia it's not a big deal, especially for the diaspora. I would say half of diaspora somalis grow up without a father, this is why many of them turn to lives of crime.

but if someone wants to randomly buy you clothes dont say no

[salool]

Daen, answer me this, should parents stay together for the kids sake even though they're unhappy?

[Daeneryss]

in somalia it's not a big deal, especially for the diaspora. I would say half of diaspora somalis grow up without a father, this is why many of them turn to lives of crime.

but if someone wants to randomly buy you clothes dont say no

Hoorta what is dispora and diana? There are many somali kelebs I don't understand. Well if it is a human being they are partly responsible for is not a big deal to some then they need to invest in bloody condoms!!! Bloody goat walkers.

[CaliBurco]

Okey lets start of with saying that my mother moved from Ireland (where she and my dad were living) to Denmark in the late 90's when they divorced with me. I was about 3 last time I saw him (don't even remember him). So all my life I'd though.. oh okey.. well maybe not having a dad will not affect me THAT much. yadayadaya... And then one time I caught myself fantasizing about father-figures in movies like Lord Stark in GoT or Sirius Black in Harry Potter, just fantasing that they were my dad. Walahi at that moment I felt so abandoned. I started thinking maan I wish I had a dad. I was about 12-13 then.

And when I was 14 years old, I noticed that my mother was acting strange. We had a 1 week of from school during Halloween and mother announced ''Okey, hiblayo we are going to visit your aunt who lives in Ireland. I notices something was off with her but did not ask. So about 2 days in when we were at my uncles house a guy and a woman comes to visit. It was my dad and his sister. I'm upstairs reading my philosophy book when my aunt comes up and says come down someone wants to meet you. I say okay. I come down and sit down at the living room. ''This is your dad and his sister'' my mother who was there says. I swear at that moment I resented my mother for a bit. Why did she not warn me? Anywho.. I can't even remember what we talked about this happened some years ago. The next day my dad and his sister took me shopping around the malls. I remember thinking, holy crap, this was NOT a good idea. And my mother INSISTED that I go with him. Walahi, aaniga waa hishooda, I don't like it when people I don't know want to buy CLOTHES for me. So we just went around looking. So i come back home after a couple of hours. The next day my mother says ''You'are going to sleep over at his house for a night''.

I was just thinking BISINKA! I don't even know this man. He was in the hallway with his sister so I could not just say, Hooyo are you out of your mind? (I don't know if you guys read my post from a long time ago, but there was this guy who was my step-aunts husbands brother. When I was 13 I saw him after not seeing him for about 3 years. Walahi in an instent I got soo many flashbacks. I remebered him with his hands down my then 6-year old male ''step cousins'' pants, whilst the mother was in the kitchen cooking afuur. He also was married to my mother for a couple of months). So I went to his house and ate dinner, It was okay I met 3 girls who were my age that i bonded with. And then another bomb hit me. I had a 4 year old half brother who was living in the same house...... turns out I had 2 other 6 year old twin step-brothers aswell... (he had them with a different women I guess). Only met the 4 yr old he was annoying. Anywho, the night before i was goning to leave he says ''I love you'', beyotch please!! I just turned around i went to my room to sleep. The I don't remember anymore. I guess he called about 2-3 times after i came back to Denmark than nothing more after that. I just turned that was 4 yrs ago btw.

Do you guys think I'm actually missing something? I just don't get is it THAT easy for people to abondened their small children......

You just confessed to being a multinicker.

[Daeneryss]

Daen, answer me this, should parents stay together for the kids sake even though they're unhappy?

I don't know if ''Daen'' is some sort of name for the person above your post or if it means ''Then'' but! NO if they are unhappy they should not stay togheter. But if there are children involved at least have the decency to pay childsupport, send birthay cards or even call once in a while....

[Daeneryss]

Okey lets start of with saying that my mother moved from Ireland (where she and my dad were living) to Denmark in the late 90's when they divorced with me. I was about 3 last time I saw him (don't even remember him). So all my life I'd though.. oh okey.. well maybe not having a dad will not affect me THAT much. yadayadaya... And then one time I caught myself fantasizing about father-figures in movies like Lord Stark in GoT or Sirius Black in Harry Potter, just fantasing that they were my dad. Walahi at that moment I felt so abandoned. I started thinking maan I wish I had a dad. I was about 12-13 then.

And when I was 14 years old, I noticed that my mother was acting strange. We had a 1 week of from school during Halloween and mother announced ''Okey, hiblayo we are going to visit your aunt who lives in Ireland. I notices something was off with her but did not ask. So about 2 days in when we were at my uncles house a guy and a woman comes to visit. It was my dad and his sister. I'm upstairs reading my philosophy book when my aunt comes up and says come down someone wants to meet you. I say okay. I come down and sit down at the living room. ''This is your dad and his sister'' my mother who was there says. I swear at that moment I resented my mother for a bit. Why did she not warn me? Anywho.. I can't even remember what we talked about this happened some years ago. The next day my dad and his sister took me shopping around the malls. I remember thinking, holy crap, this was NOT a good idea. And my mother INSISTED that I go with him. Walahi, aaniga waa hishooda, I don't like it when people I don't know want to buy CLOTHES for me. So we just went around looking. So i come back home after a couple of hours. The next day my mother says ''You'are going to sleep over at his house for a night''.

I was just thinking BISINKA! I don't even know this man. He was in the hallway with his sister so I could not just say, Hooyo are you out of your mind? (I don't know if you guys read my post from a long time ago, but there was this guy who was my step-aunts husbands brother. When I was 13 I saw him after not seeing him for about 3 years. Walahi in an instent I got soo many flashbacks. I remebered him with his hands down my then 6-year old male ''step cousins'' pants, whilst the mother was in the kitchen cooking afuur. He also was married to my mother for a couple of months). So I went to his house and ate dinner, It was okay I met 3 girls who were my age that i bonded with. And then another bomb hit me. I had a 4 year old half brother who was living in the same house...... turns out I had 2 other 6 year old twin step-brothers aswell... (he had them with a different women I guess). Only met the 4 yr old he was annoying. Anywho, the night before i was goning to leave he says ''I love you'', beyotch please!! I just turned around i went to my room to sleep. The I don't remember anymore. I guess he called about 2-3 times after i came back to Denmark than nothing more after that. I just turned that was 4 yrs ago btw.

Do you guys think I'm actually missing something? I just don't get is it THAT easy for people to abondened their small children......

You just confessed to being a multinicker.

Cali walal, what on earth is a multinicker? Damn english speakers and their dang slangs

[IRONm@N]

If he use to send you money and contact you or contact you mom all that time then he is good, but if that is the only time you guys made contact then he isn't good father figure. but I hope you took some pictures, and you ask him some question about his family side, like tribe, grand parents, history etc.

[salool]

It was half of ur name

Parents are not perfect, just forgive him and move on with ur life.Being honest is the key, tell him how you feel so he dont do the same mistake with his other kids.

[herndonhomer]

salool,

[FAH1223]

So you wanted a father figure and then you meet your dad and then you start to resent him for not being there all those years

tough luck nigga

[Daeneryss]

If he use to send you money and contact you or contact you mom all that time then he is good, but if that is the only time you guys made contact then he isn't good father figure. but I hope you took some pictures, and you ask him some question about his family side, like tribe, grand parents, history etc.

No money no contact. I asked my mom about the tribe thing. She said ''Hawiye?'' I never understood it. Is Hawiye good? Can someone just quickly explain. I was forced to take picture...
''NAYA, sawar naga gaad. orod orod OROD!!! I deleted them after I came back home. Wish I hadn't now.

[Daeneryss]

So you wanted a father figure and then you meet your dad and then you start to resent him for not being there all those years

tough luck nigga

Why so mean maaaaan : Just curious, have you ever been in a similar situation???

[Daeneryss]

It was half of ur name

Parents are not perfect, just forgive him and move on with ur life.Being honest is the key, tell him how you feel so he dont do the same mistake with his other kids.

That is VERY good advice, I will try to move on. But I will never tell how I feel, waa hishoodbadanahay. But thank you for the enlightful respons

[herndonhomer]

growing up fatherless can be difficult for some. there are people who accept their fathers when they meet them for who they are, and there are those who don't. whether or not the father met their proper image of a "father figure" doesn't matter. that just adds to the disappointment factor.