Is staying at home for the sisters...

[SultanOrder]

Culturally, the girl has always been encouraged to stay at home, with her family. Now, she would sometimes leave one degaan for another to check out prospects for men (always staying with relatives), but generally it wasn't common for them to move around much. Now, in the west, we have brought this mentality with us. I think that it presents a lot of challenges to the girls more than boys. In this society, it is not uncommon for a young adults to check out prospects for jobs/schools in other cities or states, or even move to other countries, given a job offer or something similar. All our educated sisters with degree's now are pressured to stay close to home because of cultural stigmatization. One that is especially pushed for fear that she may bring "shame", or "dishonor" to the family, and that people will talk about them. I know of some girls that were told explicitly not to go to university, but to attend college first, even when getting accepted to university (in america college is usually a 2 year institution after high school, but transferable to two years of university, but does not have no where near the stature of university). So, is this prevailing cultural norm, actually counter-productive for girls to finding better prospects in terms of jobs and men, or is it a positive thing that should be continued?

[Advo]

I kind of understand the parent concern, I know many miskiin girls oo ku soo halaawey UNI ka fog gurigooda but at the same u do make a valid point

[SultanOrder]

And there are even more stay at home girls, oo "halaabo". But some of the greatest girls that bring the best name to us, are girls who have gone to uni's far from home.

[zulaika]

i wanna say something here but i'm insomniac tonight....i can't think straight.

[Advo]

i wanna say something here but i'm insomniac tonight....i can't think straight.

Maxaa dhacay? did u max out ur mans credit card?

[zulaika]

i wanna say something here but i'm insomniac tonight....i can't think straight.

Maxaa dhacay? did u max out ur mans credit card?

no i didn't, and i don't like using credit cards...i don't like borrowed money.

just having a crazy week...that's all.

[Alphanumeric]

This hasn't been an issue in my family, but I realize its prevalence. Though I wouldn't limit it only to the sisters. Sounds like you're pulling at a thread there.

[PrinceDaadi]

Gabar guri ha kaa joogto ama god ha kaaga jirto.

[FAH1223]

Culturally, the girl has always been encouraged to stay at home, with her family. Now, she would sometimes leave one degaan for another to check out prospects for men (always staying with relatives), but generally it wasn't common for them to move around much. Now, in the west, we have brought this mentality with us. I think that it presents a lot of challenges to the girls more than boys. In this society, it is not uncommon for a young adults to check out prospects for jobs/schools in other cities or states, or even move to other countries, given a job offer or something similar. All our educated sisters with degree's now are pressured to stay close to home because of cultural stigmatization. One that is especially pushed for fear that she may bring "shame", or "dishonor" to the family, and that people will talk about them. I know of some girls that were told explicitly not to go to university, but to attend college first, even when getting accepted to university (in america college is usually a 2 year institution after high school, but transferable to two years of university, but does not have no where near the stature of university). So, is this prevailing cultural norm, actually counter-productive for girls to finding better prospects in terms of jobs and men, or is it a positive thing that should be continued?

well, in state tuition >>> out of state tuition

but a lot of girls go astray when they are in a city all by themselves and are having cadaan or madow roommates going to the club...

[Tuushi]

Keeping her at home might give the illusion of being in control but u cant stop a grown ass person follow their path.

At certain age,yeah.A girl is better protected at home.

[gedo_gurl]

FAH I really didnt expect that from you. You are generation Y not flight 13. Most of the Somali girls I know were 'corrupted' by other Somalis, I didnt think you'd fall for that flight 13 syndrome, you should understand society better.

PO - What can I say, my parents let me go wherever I want as long as its adding something to my life. I've travelled to learn languages, visit friends, find job opportunities and attended universities abroad...I even travelled to Somalia on my own. I think its because I have proven survival skills. I'm never broke, I never fail in my duties and people can rely on me to fulfil a promise. If the girl is flaky and her family know she is easily influenced, they probably wont let her out of their sight. Have a good look at all the successful young Somali women around you, they arent the type that suffer fools gladly and they are probably intimidating to be around. I was always told that if I gave birth I'd probably chew the umbilical cord off. The soft girls get left at home.

[qoraxeey]

We have one of the biggest universities of Sweden in my city


yet I moved far away for half a year ....but I moved back because I was lonely and missed my family


only reer baadiyos dont allowed their daughters to move away..

education is more important

[Adali]

GG is completely right, this sort of thing shouldn't be black and white, each girl and indeed boy is different and should be trusted with responsibilities on a case-by-case basis, I certainly wouldn't let lose a proper Sufi or Ikhwaan brother into this crazy western world without observing his reaction to the environment by going out with him on trips.

Parents should know their children enough to decide whether they are responsible, resilient young adults who can take care of themselves, this applies both to boys and girls equally.

Islamically speaking though it is best for a girl to study at a Uni in the city she lives with her parents or husband,

[Adali]

as for seeking husband ?? that is out of the question, woman who do that must be in a hurry in which case they must be too old for university, however anyone under 25 should take it easy and focus on other things, a guy will come around, over 25 year old needs to put themselves out there in the public, if you aren't seen how on earth can you get a man ? and I know Somalis aren't big on arranged marriage, it is a last resort in most cases.

[FAH1223]

FAH I really didnt expect that from you. You are generation Y not flight 13. Most of the Somali girls I know were 'corrupted' by other Somalis, I didnt think you'd fall for that flight 13 syndrome, you should understand society better.

not somali girls only, im talking girls in general... very vulnerable in a new city by themselves. I see it here all the time