Just be nice.

[Areesa]

Seriously being nice will take you a long way. I don't mean the stupid nice. I mean the good feel nice. The kind of niceness that makes your heart warm.

That's my advice.

[truther]

You being nice is in itself a selfish act and one would prefer you showed your true feelings. You are being nice simply to feel better about yourself, that does not mean you are nice genuinely. But that is true for all of humanity as humans always act in their own self-interest. True niceness is impossible.

[Areesa]

Truther I can't believe I'm actually saying this, and I know you will hold this against me in the future but I don't care. Yeah what I wanted to say is You're right.

[Alphanumeric]

Lies. All lies.

You being nice is in itself a selfish act and one would prefer you showed your true feelings. You are being nice simply to feel better about yourself, that does not mean you are nice genuinely. But that is true for all of humanity as humans always act in their own self-interest. True niceness is impossible.

Sincerity can never be exacted? All actions are and will forever be selfish? To act is to feed one's own ambitions? Selflessness is nonexistent? Even an unseen act of generousity is at its core a deceitful and conceited act?

Makes sense.

[truther]

Lies. All lies.

You being nice is in itself a selfish act and one would prefer you showed your true feelings. You are being nice simply to feel better about yourself, that does not mean you are nice genuinely. But that is true for all of humanity as humans always act in their own self-interest. True niceness is impossible.

Sincerity can never be exacted? All actions are and will forever be selfish? To act is to feed one's own ambitions? Selflessness is nonexistent? Even an unseen act of generousity is at its core a deceitful and conceited act?

Makes sense.

Exactly.

[Alphanumeric]

What about taking a bullet for someone?

That's some transcendental selfishness there. Damn.

[truther]

What about taking a bullet for someone?

That's some transcendental selfishness there. Damn.

The ability for someone to see themselves as martyrs, even seeking out some sort of noble way to die in itself is selfish. It's about creating some sort of legacy. That you won't even be forgotten even in death. One of the things Saddam Hussein said while facing the kangaroo court when he was caught was that he did not fear anything, he will die as the last protector of the Arabs and that the idea and legacy of "Saddam Hussein" won't get killed.

[Alphanumeric]

Martyrdom as legacy?

*nods*

An act of kindness is deceitful; a hope to outdo or outshine those around them in one way or another.

*scratches chin*

Is our understanding of generosity wrought by experience, or is it essentially a moot term? In what shape can be kindness be acceptable? If we are forced to question all acts of kindness, concluding that all are untrue, is it socially cancerous to peruse every redefinition of "nice"? Will our own acts of kindness be examined? Does it matter?

[truther]

Martyrdom as legacy?

*nods*

An act of kindness is deceitful; a hope to outdo or outshine those around them in one way or another.

*scratches chin*

Is our understanding of generosity wrought by experience, or is it essentially a moot term? In what shape can be kindness be acceptable? If we are forced to question all acts of kindness, concluding that all are untrue, is it socially cancerous to peruse every redefinition of "nice"? Will our own acts of kindness be examined? Does it matter?

It's all up for discussion really. "Kindness" should be accepted by both parties if it benefits both (i.e the ego & self-interest of the giver and the interests of the receiver) but it should not be sugarcoated. It should be seen for what it really is but neither party would say otherwise anyway.

I had this discussion with a really religious guy. At the end he admitted that people do good things because they want to go to heaven. He said it was selfish but the word should not have any negative connotations because there is nothing wrong with looking after your short and long term interests.

[Alphanumeric]

Yes, I've come to a conclusion along similar lines some years ago. In my view however, there is a question as to whether or not the deed is sincere in its hope for Heaven, as opposed to being seen and recounted. To marry the two in a single perspective; every religiously oriented deed of kindness done openly, is in truth a selfishly deceitful act in hope of legacy.

The question is, can we truly separately an act and the reaction of others it demands? Does an act of religious worth need to be done privately, to anticipate a reward?

Does kindness have any value, if the nice guy finishes last? Perhaps it's moral high ground he seeks, eh?

[truther]

Yes, I've come to a conclusion along similar lines some years ago. In my view however, there is a question as to whether or not the deed is sincere in its hope for Heaven, as opposed to being seen and recounted. To marry the two in a single perspective; every religiously oriented deed of kindness done openly, is in truth a selfishly deceitful act in hope of legacy.

You put it beautifully. That's exactly how it is.

I do believe that genuine acts of religious worth, that are not meant to seek out reactions, should always be done in private. If not, then it is meant to increase social standing rather than seeking out any reward in the Hereafter.

Kindness does not have any value, it is like a social business transaction. You give something (so as to appear kind) and you get an increased self-esteem, better social standing, etc. If the act of kindness is done in private and nobody knows about it, then it is meant to seek out reward in the Hereafter. The nice guy finishing last did not finish last because he was nice. He finished last due to other reasons but he claims it is because he is nice so as to seek a moral high ground. It is comparable to the "bigger man" situations. If someone is wronged, he will "forgive" the person who wronged him and even seek out to shake their hand. He will try to be the "bigger man" not because he is nice but for the moral high ground it gives him.

[Alphanumeric]

I was learning about "the Self" for a class recently, and the chapter purported that to understand the Self entirely, you need to examine 4 differing perspectives of information about you, where 3 of those perspectives are in relation to your interactions with those around you. It's called the Johari Window:



You can see from the above that the only true information about yourself is actually unknown to you as well as to others and that more importantly, the only information known about you is in relation to your interactions with those around you. To correlate that with what we've said so far about our understanding of kindness and deeds, 3/4 of what we do, say, and think is in relation to how others view us. What isn't, is unknown.

My reply to the chapter was mostly critical. That understanding the Self shouldn't be ultimately reliant on the perspectives of others.

[Somaliman50]

Great advice Areesa, seriously.

[Hyperactive]

You being nice is in itself a selfish act and one would prefer you showed your true feelings. You are being nice simply to feel better about yourself, that does not mean you are nice genuinely. But that is true for all of humanity as humans always act in their own self-interest. True niceness is impossible.

wallahi that's me. im too nice and forgiven cause ajer ban akhira ka raba. not cause i am nice person

people think they take advantage of me , anigana i laugh at them, that they think they fool me. hoostan ka eraahda, Allah ban kugu dayey.lol

[Alphanumeric]

The honesty is welcomed.