Xaliimo is a very beautiful and hot gabar. Her qurux is like jowharad that would make you sleepless for many habeeno. She is like boqorod full of suuro and jinniyo. She is the kind of girl that most of ciyaalka xaafadda would die to be with. She is tall, dhiig furan. She could be a super model any maalin if she wants to. She has a perfect jir, dhaxyar with the right curves. She has a wicked smile and heavenly indho-deero that would make you think of the Xuural Ceynta Janadda lagu sheegay.
They say jaceylku is blind and makes you feel jileec. From the first day her family moved into our xaafad, I was struck by her qurux and wanted inaan ku dhaco. Somehow ma helin a chance to do that. One day I saw her walking in the Suuq buying some dirac for the coming aroos party on saturday habeen that will be held at Habaryar isniino’s wedding hall. She was right there in the Suuq but was into tough gorgorton and iibsi. I followed her like waardiye camal. She was getting cilaan on her long fingers and all over her gacmaheeda xaadaa leh. She reminds you of that song “Gacmahaada xaadda leh markaan soo xasuustaan xadantoodaa,” in addition, she was getting her timaheeda garbaha jooga done while chilling with her girlfriends in Sahra’s hair salon. After she was done with timaha and cilaanka, she came down to do more wax-iibsasho.
I can’t just follow her like that. This was my chance. I tried my best to overcome my unnatural xishood and went straight to her and say something like “abaayo, iska waran? ... my name is Faarax”. I wanted to be cool and self-confident and I wanted to let her know saan uga helay. After my is-maqiiqin and indho-adeeg, I found myself in front of her, frozen and speechless. My geesinimo went out of the dariishadda. I couldn’t even dheh xataa one word. I started to gariir and dhidid. I was like a tiny leaf in a small Geed caught in a dabeel waalan.
After a daqiiqad or two, I was able to jooji the trembling but the sweating waa iska socday like fire hydrant ciyaal fureen. What an embarrassment! I was like alwaax fooqal alwaax big time.
She qosol at my awkwardness and lack of geesinimo. So did the other Xaliimos that were with her. I neceyb them overweight fulxumo chicks that are always with her like body guards. They remind you of that song “Buur buuranaayee alla ma buunsheey cuni jireenee.” I specially neceyb that dhuxul gubatay la mood, Faadumo Gaab. Her shortness is like a ganbar lugaha laga gooyay. Xaliimo checked me kor iyo hoos and walked away with jeesto, giggling and laughing. I could hear Faadumo Gaab saying ….what an alwaax!
I wished I was meyd aan nooleeyn. I was breathing si xoog badan. I regained myself control and started to orod from this fadeexo like a tuug maalin cad la qabtay. I went straight to my guri, and went to my qol, slammed the albaab behind me, jumped on the sariir, found my go’ and barkin and started to hide myself from the yaxyaxii and jacdii that followed me all the way from that awful is-biimeen. That was ill-choreographed ku-dhacoow for 20 year old nin rag ah like me. After hours of painful shalaay and galgalasho, I fell into a nice hurdo. Dreams of mixed qarow and riyo maalmeed became my comfort. I dreamt of her. She was with me in the sariir, lying by my dhinac, giving me warmth and raaxo. I felt like I was in jano aduun.
Knock ... knock on the door and loud bang woke me up of what could have been one of my wildest imaginations with Xaliimo. It was my little hyperactive walaalkeeyga yar, waking me up with his usual feer and faralaab. Waa a little nuisance that I have to deal with maalin kasta. I adkeeysi him walaahi on daily basis as if beat him my hooyo would call all my gardheerayaal adeero who will then take me to the masaajidka and keep me there and for saacado and for sure bore me with wacdi. Cunugaas usually spoils my daily dreams. I have to beat the hell out of him and vent all my ciil on him. But he ran away to the qolka fadhiga as I was trying to kac from sariir. I ran after him just to catch him and beat the hell out of him. The little devil managed inuu igaga baxsado guriga gudihiisa.
To my yaab, she was there. I mean Xaliimo was there, sitting with my abaayo and hooyo. I was only wearing one duluf macaawiis. She could see my skinny feero and hairy xabad. Again, I stood there speechless like alwaax. Embarrassment fooqul embarrassment! This inkaar again?
Xaliimo and my heartless abaayo started to laugh. My hooyo started to tuur her kab on me. “war nacasyahow dhar soo gasho ... gabar baa kuu joogtee,” Hooyo shouted. I ran like tuug la qabtay talo ma leh back to my qol. I didn’t want to go back to the fadhiga any more. Again I felt like Alwaax.
Knock, knock on the door and it was my pitiless abaayo this time. “ war marax yahow soo bah, gabar baa ku sugeeysa, ” she taunted me with her challenged but improving Af Somali eey ka soo boowsatay dariska. We have loud and talkative new Somali daris fresh of the boat. I wanted to say “bax naga tag” but that was not ragnimo thing to do. I took my shukumaan and went straight to musqusha to titir my face, get the fiish out of my indho, brushed my qaxwo stained ilko. I took a quick shower and started is-qalajis and is-qurxin. I combed my jareer hair with shanlo and put some lotion on my qaleel skin. I came back to my qol and changed into a nice shaar and surwaal jeans and went back to fadhiga. Xaliimo was there sitting in the fadhi carbeed; eating some buskut, xalwo and drinking qaxwo qaraar like she is a marti in Eid celebrations. She looked up and smiled at me. I sat horteeda and murmured something that sounded like a salaan. I asked myself thoughtfully “maxeey qoftaan maanta ka sameeyneeysaa in our home?”
My mother started her obvious marmarsiiyo to excuse herself and others and let me be all alone with the quruxleeydan na soo booqatay. “waryaa maxamed ... nayaa asli ... kaalaya iiga soo qaada threadmillka from the basement.” They all left fadhiga to the basement. My hooyo wants to shed some culays these days.
I kept silent for daqiiqad or two until Xaliimo started to break the ice by saying “hooyadaa is cool,” I was like “Yeah,” I asked her what she is doing in our Guri.
“I came to see you ...what you did in the suuqa maanta was amazing... I felt your vibe,” I couldn’t believe waxa eey sheegeeyso? Gabartu dhiiranaayeey. A Xaliimo so geesi to come to your guri to ask you out, that is lama arag lama maqal ... it must be a joke.
“ Look Faarax ... aboowe you are a nice guy and I would like us to know each other si fiican and yaa og what this could lead to,” Xaliimo continued.
I was like this must be the craziest shukaansi ever and walaahi it is unbelievable sheeko unlike I have ever experienced. Yaabka yaabkiis, All I could say was “Haye” like baari caano ma daadshe. “one of us has to have the initiative ... you made the first move oo waa igu dhacday, so I thought it would be nice to retun the favor.” All I could say was “haye,”again like caano madaadshe. “So you know meesha la iga helo aboowe,” She stood up and walked toward albaabka. I followed her and opened albaabka for her like a gentleman. I did little bit of sagootis. That was kind cool saan u maleeynaayo. As I closed the door, I started to jump and shout with farax and qosol. “Yes,” Waanba iska hilmaamay all the embarrassment for the day. I was jumping and shouting for dhowr daqiiqo unaware of my surroundings and who is around hareeraheeyga or not. God is good. Ilaaheey ma ku gargaaraa mise ganfuur ganfuur aas kuu tuuraa...my farxad was on the roof and caadaas!
My hooyo, abaayo and little devilish brother were all in front of me with yaab and qosol at my unusual reaction. I don’t give damn about them. My sister Asli again flexed her newly acquired taunting repertoire of Af-Somali on me with her carabla’ accent and she laughingly said “walaahi ahadkan waa la soo haayaa,” She can’t pronounce the ‘Xa’ and ‘Ca’ in Somali and sounds like gaal speaking Somali.
http://newsomalia.blogspot.com.au/2010/ ... mo_01.html
I think this was posted before but the mix of Somali & English is hilarious!
