SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

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Leftist
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SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by Leftist »

The Year of our Lord, Ilaahay(SWT), 2012:

In Which, Kismaayo, that last bastion of Somali freedom falls to the unholy alliance that has been dismembering Somalia for the past century. And what a dark century. From Djbouti in the North, Garriisa in the South, and everything in between, an Iron Curtain of occupation(direct and indirect) and oppression has descended on the once-proud Somali.

In Which, The famed Commander, Ser Taliye AbdiWahab of House Baraxley has a falling out with the KDF. In the runup to the Sack of Kismaayo, the KDF denied Ser Taliye's request that only Somali forces under his command enter the city just like Taliye DeGaulle in 1944. Vowing that he will not be remembered as another Abdullahi Yusuf, the Taliye resigns in protest and crosses enemy lines to meet with Emir Grandpa of The Harakada. Both men agree to put aside past animus and focus solely on liberating Somalia from the unholy alliance of White-Walkers(palefaced 'consultants'), Wildlings(Ethiopians), and the Dothraki Horde(Kenyans).

In Which, the long-time LGTB activist, (Civil) Union, taking advantage of recent legislation, ties the knot with his partner, Wigless-Bidaar who has been 'grooming' him from a very young age in all matters of depravity and disbelief. (Civil) Union insists that no child abuse took place and that theirs is a love-match made in Hegel.

In Which, Comrade Leftist, ashamed at the woeful state of his Salah, launches the Salaada Struggle after reading wise words by Shaykh Hyper. After an initial burst of enthusiasm in which he makes rapid progress, the Comrade gets bogged down in trench warfare with superior enemy forces, Nafta & Shaydaanka. Things are at a stalemate now with hopes of a breakthrough bleak, but "In'a maciya Rabii sayahdiin."

In Which, the long-awaited showdown between Comrade Menace and the DC Kid ends in the death of the former. Apparently, FAH's nerdy nice-guy was a front and the dude has some serious street-fighting skillz. RIP, the Legend of Menace will be missed. Many bottles of caano-geel were poured out for the homey at the state funeral held in Global Mall.

In Which, Basra is charged with involuntary manslaughter after she rolls over while sleeping and smothers her marehan kusband, Cabdi-Yare, 37, of Boston, MA. The judge effectively reduces her sentence to probation on the condition that she manages to lose at least 2.5 pounds of body weight per week, for a minimum total loss of 200 lb.

In Which, Voltage announces almost every month of the year that "the fall of Baardheere is imminent" and "Baardheere will be liberated in two weeks". The young man may be an ardent tribalist, but a Nate Silver, he is not.

In Which, Anarchist, Lamagoodle, ElfRuler, Gurey25 consistently dish out some serious knowledge in their informative posts. Here's to more knowledge-dishing in 2013.

In Which, Elder Colonel of the RK Kommandos takes leave of his senses and defects to the Dothraki Horde asagoo leh: "fiqi tolkiisa kama jano tago". We hope 2013 sees the wise Elder regain his faculties and rejoin Granpa and The Taliye in their fight to liberate the Seven Kingdoms of Somalitos. Or he can continue keeping the soiled company of garden-variety dhabodhilifs like guhad and metamorphosis.

In Which, Engineer Saciid Afisoone is recognised for being a true patriot and a coder with mad Java skillz.

In Which, Ditoore Yalaxow walks that fine line between experiencing doubt and leaving Islam. We urge him to step back from the cliff of Halaak before he falls and plunges to the point of no-return.

In Which, BlackStar actually falls of the cliff. Unable to differentiate between the ridiculous dictums of literalism(rigid dogma, contradictions galore, hypocritical stances) and actual Islam(progressive, dynamic, timeless), the confused young man declares himself an atheist.

In Which, Comrade Caburiye, mercilessly mocked, refuses to give up and continues to search for a solution to his problem. We admire your courage in tackling this taboo head-on, Comrade.

In Which, Advo delivers the Post of the Year: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=313760

In Which, Paidmonk Done Come Up: http://dissidentnation.com/

In Which, Ayatollah Hutuking repents from his support for the ASWJ militia and changes his title from Ayatollah to Imam. He says that he only supported the Ethiopian funded militia arrimo qabiil la xariiro awgeed. We commend the Imam in his change of heart.......if it's genuine. He can prove it by giving back the property he has been squatting on in Huriwaa to it's rightful owner: Abdisamad3.

In Which, Cali-Gaab is caught in flagrante delicto with a cow at a secluded farm in North Yorkshire. He is charged with one count each of "lewd conduct with an animal" and "animal cruelty" When interrogated by the police, he says: " GAW NAW JAW, dee dhabo daadax baan arkay, dee ku tijaabi baan is-idhi, dee waa cayn-kaa dee, JAW NAW GAW"

In Which, the hash-tags #freemyniggafighter and #freeaccident2012 start trending rapidly on Twitter. Nabeela, however, refuses to rescind her banning decree on the grounds that not only was the Vocaroo recording obscene, but also that she, inexplicably, found it arousing, and as such, cannot in good conscience allow the return of someone who is a direct threat to her morals.

In Which, Ditoore Yalaxow introduces memorable phrases that will live on in Somalinet history. Waxaa ka mid ah:

- "dee GAW NAW JAW haaheey JAW NAW GAW"
- "niiko niiko with a watermelon"
- "the pictures are coming my nigger, they are coming"
- "... there is a gay sheydaan in his head..."

In Which, Wigless Bidaar is put on the Sex Offender Registry list after he is found trying to shukaansi an underage GranpaKhaliif(no relation to Emir Grandpa of The Harakada, one is a valiant Emir, the other a confused Madkhali kid)

In Which, Bareento is exposed as a self-hating Waaqist. The good Oromo people should cast him out and make him a man with no name.

In Which, MidriGeez is recognized as an proud Eritrean patriot and a true friend of the Somali people. Here's to a Somali-Eritrean alliance that will dominate the East Africa.

In Which, Melez Zenawi kicks the bucket,

Obligatory celebratory dance:

[youtube]?v=OjEc5-bl_BE[/youtube]
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Re: SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by mikexamar »

Basra is charged with involuntary manslaughter after she rolls over while sleeping and smothers her marehan kusband, Cabdi-Yare, 37, of Boston, MA. The judge effectively reduces her sentence to probation on the condition that she manages to lose at least 2.5 pounds of body weight per week, for a minimum total loss of 200 lb.

:dead: :lol: :up:
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Re: SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by metamorphosis »

This is not funny nor intellectual. Way to waste an hour of your time.
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Re: SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by igotkatzngingersnapz »

in wich igotkatzngingersnapz don got harassed
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Re: SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by Advo »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :up:



:wow:
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Re: SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by Leftist »

metamorphosis wrote:This is not funny nor intellectual. Way to waste an hour of your time.
If you're mad cuz I called you a dhabodhilif, my bad, no offence intended(seriously). The narrative had to have bad guys, and in that particular, (In Which), it had to be you and guhad, due to your unflinching support for the Liyu Police, Ahmed Madoobe, the Kenyan Dothrakis and Ethiopian Wildlings.

Here's to you changing your political views in 2013 :up:

And if you haven't read all 5 books of ASOIAF, you're missing out.
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Re: SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by metamorphosis »

Leftist wrote:
metamorphosis wrote:This is not funny nor intellectual. Way to waste an hour of your time.
If you're mad cuz I called you a dhabodhilif, my bad, no offence intended(seriously). The narrative had to have bad guys, and in that particular, (In Which), it had to be you and guhad, due to your unflinching support for the Liyu Police, Ahmed Madoobe, the Kenyan Dothrakis and Ethiopian Wildlings.

Here's to you changing your political views in 2013 :up:

And if you haven't read all 5 books of ASOIAF, you're missing out.
If supporting madoobe makes me a dabodhilof then you have said nothing for which you must apologize.
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Re: SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by The`Republic »

Leftist lol. Ironically enough I was thinking of starting a topic about Baardheere's fall earlier today. Politics prevevented but now everything is clear. My intel says in two weeks or less if not week more. Baardheere's fall is intricately linked to beesha Sade's full attention to Kismaayo and the powers that be have held it off because of the effect it would have on Kismaayo's position but they can't stop it any longer.

We are on the cusp.
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Re: SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by AbdiWahab252 »

In Which, Leftist aka Aliifbet Farax begins to have doubts about his mission. What has aroused such feelings ? Is Jama Bashiir having second thoughts ? Will he go AWOL in 2013 ? :whew:
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Re: SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by Twist »

In Which, Basra is charged with involuntary manslaughter after she rolls over while sleeping and smothers her marehan kusband, Cabdi-Yare, 37, of Boston, MA. The judge effectively reduces her sentence to probation on the condition that she manages to lose at least 2.5 pounds of body weight per week, for a minimum total loss of 200 lb.
In Which, Cali-Gaab is caught in flagrante delicto with a cow at a secluded farm in North Yorkshire. He is charged with one count each of "lewd conduct with an animal" and "animal cruelty" When interrogated by the police, he says: " GAW NAW JAW, dee dhabo daadax baan arkay, dee ku tijaabi baan is-idhi, dee waa cayn-kaa dee, JAW NAW GAW"
In Which, Ditoore Yalaxow introduces memorable phrases that will live on in Somalinet history. Waxaa ka mid ah:

- "dee GAW NAW JAW haaheey JAW NAW GAW"
- "niiko niiko with a watermelon"
- "the pictures are coming my nigger, they are coming"
- "... there is a gay sheydaan in his head..."
:russ: :deadrose:
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Re: SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by Colonel »

:wow:

Ser Leftist of Tyrosh, a quality poster with a sensational blue beard Image. However if I may correct you, the Dothraki Sea is not from our Swahili Brethren, rather it is from the villages of Hutu.
In Which, Voltage announces almost every month of the year that "the fall of Baardheere is imminent" and "Baardheere will be liberated in two weeks". The young man may be an ardent tribalist, but a Nate Silver, he is not.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by Thuganomics »

Image
Cumar-Labasuul
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Re: SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by Cumar-Labasuul »

:pac:
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Re: SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by Leftist »

The`Republic wrote:Leftist lol. Ironically enough I was thinking of starting a topic about Baardheere's fall earlier today. Politics prevevented but now everything is clear. My intel says in two weeks or less if not week more. Baardheere's fall is intricately linked to beesha Sade's full attention to Kismaayo and the powers that be have held it off because of the effect it would have on Kismaayo's position but they can't stop it any longer.

We are on the cusp.
This time, I agree. But only because the KDF is rumored to be moving on Baardheere with heavy armor and air support. Heavy armor > small-arms. No amount of bravery can change the laws of physics.

But what happens if Feburary rolls in with Baardheere still standing tall? :lol:
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Re: SomaliNet: 2012 in the Rearview

Post by Leftist »

forgot the best part:

In Which, 17 year old Abuukar Subeer performs The Dougie in his macawiis. It becomes a viral hit.

[youtube]?v=JKnVM-nQl0A[/youtube]

"...heestaan khatar waaye..." :lol:
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