Five ways that "staying safe" costs women
http://www.salon.com/2013/08/12/five_wa ... sts_women/
Some women are indeed assaulted by strangers, but almost 75% of rapists are known to their victims. The habits we teach girls for avoiding rape reinforce misleading and ultimately dangerous ideas about strangers in alleys. If “don’t get raped” lessons were genuinely meant to help people assess risk and avoid assault, we’d teach girls and boys (because yes, boys and men can be victims of sexual violence too).
- 1. First, it costs us time and limits our movement in space. We face challenges in everything from daily commuting to traveling to far-flung places. We go out of our way regularly to find safer walking routes, buses, parking spaces, and exercise spaces. We don’t take shortcuts cavalierly. Aside from these daily “inconveniences,” whether we do it for work or pleasure, we have different travel maps. Our freedom to explore is seriously impaired.
2. Second, it costs money, because it’s expensive to avoid rape. For example, if a woman can afford it, she will take taxis at night, instead of walking home when she’d like to. Women may join gyms for safety reasons: 24% of American women avoid recreational exercise outside to avoid “being bothered.” That’s as if the entire population of Canada didn’t ever go outside for sports.
3. Third, it can limit our employment opportunities, because some jobs can become very dangerous in an instant if you are a woman. Just ask reporters and activists. Or closer to home, ask female taxi or truck drivers how their habits differ, and how their earnings are affected. The military? 26,000 people were raped last year, numerically more men, proportionately, more women. One female vet called rape “part of the job description.”
4. Fourth, it curtails our speech and public engagement. As a result of being taught to “be safe” and “not get raped” many women silence themselves out of fear. They stop writing about certain topics, or in certain spaces. They don’t confront harassers, they disengage from political and public speech. Free speech requires freedom from coercion and the threat of violence — in our society, women often don’t have those freedoms.
For me, I try to park in different park-n-rides (routine/pattern is what rapists look for). I try to leave campus no later than 9:30pm. My school's downtown, and not relatively safe.
I avoid making eye contact with strangers.
I ask security personnel to walk me to my car when it's late at night.
I hold my keys in a certain way, so that if I am attacked, I can use my car key to stab his eye.
I don't leave my headphones in while walking home.
I answer any questions in a firm, confident voice.
Educating my little brothers about choice and consent.
It's crazy to think that everyday, I think of how I can change my behavior to avoid rape. It's even crazier that growing up, I was told that wearing hijab would prevent rape (it's a hurtful and demeaning fallacy).
So, how do you all of you ladies avoid sexual assault/rape?
