Somalinet 2014 Calendar (Ladies Edition)
Posted: Sat Nov 30, 2013 11:02 pm
The male catalog was not getting much attention, some of the members didn't even respond so I decided to shift gears. Here is my 2014 lineup of the ladies of Somalinet. 
January – DeeqaDagan
Too well-behaved, nice and nonchalant for the Somalinet scene, her complicity with the system and civility arouses suspicion. – She might be a bionic lady preprogrammed by FAH.
February – Lilaahiya
Attitude is laidback. Choice of car: land cruiser jeep with the top off. Product of the 90s and follows the cult of Aaliyah. Often wears a beany, puffy orange boomer jacket and timberlands. –Thug appeal.
March – Jasmine
Indulges in chick flicks and reads avidly (Daniel Steel and El James mostly). She has fanciful ideas about love, marriage and baby carriages from years of prince-charming conditioning
April – NewHargeysaGirl
Don’t be deceived by her bambi eyes she’s actually Rambo in disguise. Please clear the way when she’s angry, as a loose cannon she will leave civilian casualties behind. – Absolute Carnage.
May – CushiticReflections
Revolutionary and forward thinking can come at a cost. When she attempts to inform members about real social problems and speak to truth they attack her and accuse her of lies – Sacrificial Lamb.
June – Basra
Rail thin, and pokes fun at anyone capable of insulating themselves from the cold. Secretly envious of body fat and lover of chubby men, not sure if she’d like to cook them or wants them around for contrast.
July - Zulaika
Her domestic abilities are consummate. She can cook any regional Somali food, is a neat freak and can perform any traditional Somali dance: zeylaci, dhaanto and jaandheer you name it. - A dream boat by Somali standards.
August - DoubleAppleNmint
She is enamoured by grey foxes – older men that seem to be decent looking for their age. Jubba and even Silanyo make her blush. Is it the money that makes them beautiful or their looks she likes, we can never be certain.
September - Kambuli
Lives a life of penury and helps the indignant get back on their feet. Not quite, but she’s a proverbial do-gooder that you’d like to trip but can’t due to a potential backlash. Can come across as preachy.
October –Salool
She bombards you with self-help quotes and willingly hands out copies of the “secret.” Watches Oprah’s life class religiously, and follows Deepak Chopra and postmortem Einstein on twitter.
November - InaSamaale
The name Samaale was rightfully bestowed upon her – given an abundance of Somali pride. She keeps the hope alive in spite of the naysayers.
December - SelfD
A former nice girl, she was initially demure in her heyday, but she has since developed a bit of an attitude and trust issues (from listening to Drake on repeat). The coldness of the world made her this way.
lol JK good job Soph.