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My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 4:24 pm
by AbdiJohnson
It was a side of them I've never seen. They asked if I was talking to any girls for marriage. I told them no. They then told me they have a woman for me in Somalia and needs sponsoring. They insisted I marry her

I froze. I said get back to me in 10 years time but they started to immediately lash out. "How can a grown man wait so long for marriage? Unless you are committing haram acts?". I assured them that this was not the case but I'm not ready. My mother particularly seemed very upset. She now thinks I'm committing zina or possibly worse in their eyes, that I'm gay. Or possibly they don't want to let down my mother's family who might have pushed her to seal the deal. I could be wrong but I'm not sure why they are pushing it

They tried to sweeten the deal by offering the house to me and the woman but I know I'll get the house anyway since I've been told that before. It was offered numerous times before since they plan on moving to Somalia soon

My main problems:

1) I don't want to marry a lady from Somalia. My beliefs and hers will clash. I want a family representative of my values, not hers. My values are Western. Hers are backwards. I had to deal 23 years under strict religious rules, I don't want to live under that til I'm dead

2) Language barrier: I can't speak Somali and she can't speak English

3) I want to live on my own for at least 5 years minimum before starting a family

4) I'm not ready financially for a family. I don't want to struggle and live paycheck to paycheck supporting my kids. I want a very comfortable life where I have at least 1 year of income in case anything happens

What I don't understand is that there are two siblings not married who are older than me. Why are they asking one of the youngest to marry when they know I'm not ready at all for such a big commitment

I would tell them my preference, but I will be giving them heart attacks


I am,

Abdi "I wish my parents were laid back Djiboutians" Johnson

Re: My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 4:27 pm
by Hodan94
so from what im reading is that you dont want a Somali women at all but would prefer a blond hair blue eyed one??.
if so just tell the truth to your parents..they'll understand.

Re: My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 4:33 pm
by BlackVelvet
AbdiJohnson wrote: I want a family representative of my values, not hers. My values are Western. Hers are backwards
Image

Re: My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 4:38 pm
by hargaysaay
They are just telling you in a very polite somewhat decorated way .................MOVE THE FUCK OUT SON .

Re: My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 4:43 pm
by AbdiJohnson
Hodan,
I don't mind a Somali woman, I prefer it actually but she has to be Western raised. But she has to think like me. Somali girls back home think they are just objects who sit at home, cook and clean. I like the cooking and cleaning part but I want an independent woman who will not bother me and nag. A woman whose on the go and has her own business to attend to. It will be hard to erase her mentality. And I don't want an FGM woman. I want a good sex life. She won't please you in certain ways due to it being taboo. I want the BBQ and party life as well. There are so many negatives

Hargsysaay, but they offered me their home. And when I say I'm leaving, they say no you won't


I am,

Abdi "She just won't understand" Johnson

Re: My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:15 pm
by Hyperactive
there is way you can distract them, tell them the truth , tell them you are not a muslim....

they know none muslim cannot marry a muslim. so they let you off the hook.

Re: My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:21 pm
by AbdiJohnson
Lol @ off the hook.

I'll end up murdered in my sleep


I am

Abdi "...and they'll find the first flight out of there" Johnson

Re: My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:23 pm
by Daff
You have great parents, but unfortunately they have an atheist son and they don't even know it :meles:

Re: My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:23 pm
by vikingman
Hodan94 wrote:so from what im reading is that you dont want a Somali women at all but would prefer a blond hair blue eyed one??.
if so just tell the truth to your parents..they'll understand.
My mom understands but my aabo dosent :(

Re: My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:24 pm
by Tuushi
vikingman wrote:
Hodan94 wrote:so from what im reading is that you dont want a Somali women at all but would prefer a blond hair blue eyed one??.
if so just tell the truth to your parents..they'll understand.
My mom understands but my aabo dosent :(
Wrong account?

Anyways,u need to come clean of ur religious believes.

Re: My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:26 pm
by Hyperactive
DafIyoMiriq wrote:You have great parents, but unfortunately they have an atheist son and they don't even know it :meles:
haa wallah,, i feel bad for masakiintas. Allah museebadooda wah ka khair badan oku badal.

Re: My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:28 pm
by vikingman
Tuushi wrote:
vikingman wrote:
Hodan94 wrote:so from what im reading is that you dont want a Somali women at all but would prefer a blond hair blue eyed one??.
if so just tell the truth to your parents..they'll understand.
My mom understands but my aabo dosent :(
Wrong account?

Anyways,u need to come clean of ur religious believes.
No you paranoid somalian woman the statement applied to me so I commented on it

Re: My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:30 pm
by Tuushi
Right. :lol:

Re: My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:31 pm
by Daff
Tuushi wrote:
vikingman wrote:
Hodan94 wrote:so from what im reading is that you dont want a Somali women at all but would prefer a blond hair blue eyed one??.
if so just tell the truth to your parents..they'll understand.
My mom understands but my aabo dosent :(
Wrong account?

Anyways,u need to come clean of ur religious believes.
:dead: :deadrose: busted :lol: :lol:

Re: My parents sat me down for marriage talk

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:33 pm
by AbdiJohnson
WTF. Vikingman is not me. I already responded to Hodan

I've had it with these damn f-king people impersonating me. You f-king bastard


I am,

Abdi "I've had it up to f-king here" Johnson