I have a problem. Never mind the Somalinet Forum thread I made about the advice. That was bogus. My letter to you is a genuine plea for advice. There is this gay man who is very helpful and wonderful at work, who has helped me for weeks when no one gave me the time of the day. He is very bright. Unfortunately, he is NOT closeted, and as you know, I am . The thing is --dearest cousin-- I have a crush on him. I went to Facebook and investigated his profile. (pray, this shows, I care right? Please, don't say it shows I am stalking him)
Anyway, to make a long letter short-- can u advice me as to what to do? This wonderful man has a boyfriend, according to his FBK profile. The BF is extremely handsome. (I stress again, extremely handsome) Therefore, even if I tried to come on to him, which I know I cannot, because first, I am in the closet and second I am not crazy. Besides, he wont cheat on him, no way he will cheat on that hot boyfriend, compared to average me. What should I do?
Yours, illustriously handsome and love stricken, Marques.
My Dearest Marq,
Your letter found me in a most uncomfortable situation. I was seated having tea with newly guests in town. Mr and Mrs Kambuli when your letter arrived. I glanced into the cover letter to see who it is from, as my servant hyperactive could not tell me due to his illiteracy. He cant read English nor write it. Anyways- when I said your name- Mrs Kambuli a very talkative fat majeerten woman who loves Somali song and without notice or warning erupts from her sofa seat and start dancing and lip singing to her xamaar songs. She says she met you in a party, I didn't ask further as her humming and large adoon lips were distracting. Mr Kambuli seems quite and sensible, I dare say, a very grave mismatch. It is a most annoying inconvenience to be cordial and polite walaahi. Sometimes I wonder, if rudeness is appropriate, but given that----that is NOT how I was raised, I must feign polite politque manners to my intruding guests.
Anyways-- I do beg your pardon, I did not wish to digress. So--let us come to the crunch matter of your letter. My dearest isaaq cousin-- the only advice I can give you is-- God be with you. I am not really knowledgeable in advising how to cheat or break relationships, especially one that is haram as a homosexual one. But given that u r my cousin and my qabil kinship, I am open to support u in whatever sin you find yourself entangled in. Please do update me minute by minute in your choices and mess.
YOURS VERY LOVING --COUSIN, LADY BASRA.
PS: Mrs Kambuli just farted as she was Suujudu--ing in prayers. May I ask-- does one break of the salat right away upon a release of a very loud burst of dhuuso? Or continue with the salat? Perhaps I should ask my servant hyperactive, although a servant, he is very religious.
Deeqa,
