Jealousy.

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Basra-
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Jealousy.

Post by Basra- »

Do you find yourself being "JEALOUS" often than you would like to? I mean, my sweet disposition and usually tender hearted-ness moments are destroyed by unnecessary lapse of jealousy. Indeed, a famous wit named Gore Vidal once quipped "Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little" :lol: :lol: :lol:


I must say, this quote is so amazingly funny and true that it is crazy to even imagine creeping into your consciousness, and therefore, I hereby depart this quote "from" my consciousness- to yours. :clap:


On a serious note: How many of you here face Jealous feelings? For me, I have to fight it, with active thought breaking, so that I don't get into dark thoughts whenever someone I know gets what I want. (often, if I embark on adverse action against someone, with my intelligence, I could turn into a SHE-DEVIL herself. lol) It is like primal. I have cut out friends in my life so that I can have 'peace'. (Peace, a loaded word that comes with much worth when these creeping jealousy feelings stop, as a result of my drastic action) I am good hearted enough not to have them in my life and at the same time, resent them, jealous them, and ultimately wishing for their quick demise. LOL Isn't it nice of me?-- To let my friends go, for the sake of love? Rather than have them in my life and just openly smile at them, while I wish them ill? Is jealousy our human flaw? In the bible and the Quran, tales of jealousy is every where. In fact, most of the feuds in the Quran is based on Jealousy. Is it a normal emotion to feel or am I a superior human being as I have found away to fight it. Isolation. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
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Re: Jealousy.

Post by cashmere »

I think it's quite obvious your problems with raging jealously stem from very low levels of self-esteem. Go read some self-help books, go to therapy, coz you need some help Basra.

But on a serious note: are you sexually frustrated by any chance? Your man not paying you enough attention? Guus not doing enough damage? It's common knowledge that most wives lose their self esteem due to abusive husbands that neglect their needs. Your husband may be to blame here. He's obviously not fxucking you right. But again, if I had a handicapped cow as wife, I'd neglect her too.
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Re: Jealousy.

Post by Basra- »

cashmere wrote:I think it's quite obvious your problems with raging jealously stem from very low levels of self-esteem. Go read some self-help books, go to therapy, coz you need some help Basra.

But on a serious note, are you sexually frustrated by any chance? Your man not paying you enough attention? Guus not doing enough damage? It's common knowledge that most wives lose their self esteem due to abusive husbands that neglect their needs. Your husband may be to blame here. He's obviously not fxucking you right. But again, if I had a handicapped cow as wife, I'd neglect her too.

:stylin:


Walaahi It has nothing to do with low self esteem. No one has higher self esteem like me. I mean, if anything, I have plenty of it, so much that I read aristocratic 18th century books to get a boost of ego! (or gossip lol) :stylin:


I blame it more on my intelligence. I believe the smarter u r, the more jealous you are. However, if you have more [imaan', you tend to have lower jealousy, I find. I know I lack strong imaan, Inshaalaah, God bless me with stronger imaan. :clap:


As to my husband being the cause, I doubt it. IN fact, he inspires me. With his small thingy, he is the happiest walaad I know. Entirely not bothered with his short-coming. :)


Cashmere- I think its about time u stop dwelling in your Oxidant world and come out of the closet darling. :clap:
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Re: Jealousy.

Post by cashmere »

Jealously at its root is a feeling of insecurity or fear of loss. It seems that the achievements of your friends have given you feelings of inadequacy, which is why you cut them off.

From what you described it's very difficult to believe that low self-esteem isn't at least part of your jealous feelings. If you were confident in your abilities to accomplish or achieve whatever your friends were doing, you wouldn't need to feel envious/jealous. That's my armchair psychology anyway.
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Re: Jealousy.

Post by Basra- »

cashmere wrote:Jealously at its root is a feeling of insecurity or fear of loss.

Cash

Ok. I grant u--insecurity has something to do with it. But fear or loss? I don't think so. I think you are confusing a specific jealousy, like jealous of losing a loved one over something beyond your control. If I am prepared to cut my friends, therefore, losing them in the process, so I guess that eliminates the sense of fear of loss. :lol:

But the insecurity could be a cause, but I don't feel it, at least consciously. Insecurity is the opposite of security. Regardless whether I am confident to go get what I envy, it will NOT make me secure. What will stop me from ---again--envying another thing. Then I 'confidently' pursue it and get it. Then what's the next thing? The grass is never greener in a jealous persons eyes. :lol: (or humans as in general. Therefore, am I exhibiting one of the most essential aspect of humanity?)
There upon comes in the value of Imaan. A strong imaan should be able to resign in the power of what one is given by Alaah swt. A complete, unadulterated surrender. That sense of appreciation of what is given upon you and disinteresting appreciating what others have due on them from God. I guess that is the only thing that will fight jealousy. I am not there yet. :lol:
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Re: Jealousy.

Post by Marques »

Interesting topic. Jealousy is a bigger factor with women i think, most guys find it unmanly to be jealous of another male.

With that said, i noticed a trend in my group of circles. The one or two acquaintances i have who are paranoid about 'haters' and jealous people are themselves the most jealous-folk. They always compare themselves to others to feel better about themselves. They lack humility when something good comes their way and sometimes vent it out to let people know. This is why i love humble folk, just being around them teaches you many lessons in life.
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Re: Jealousy.

Post by Suleiman117 »

Marques wrote:Interesting topic. Jealousy is a bigger factor with women i think, most guys find it unmanly to be jealous of another male.

With that said, i noticed a trend in my group of circles. The one or two acquaintances i have who are paranoid about 'haters' and jealous people are themselves the most jealous-folk. They always compare themselves to others to feel better about themselves. They lack humility when something good comes their way and sometimes vent it out to let people know. This is why i love humble folk, just being around them teaches you many lessons in life.

I sometimes feel jealous when I see black woman with white man.
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