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LONDON – Masjid Ar-Razzak experienced one of the longest Taraweeh prayers in its history thanks to the shenanigans of two individuals. Khaled Shamsi, 32, the young Imam of the masjid and Badr Zafar, 12, the back-up hafiz made what is now called “the craziest deal ever sanctioned by an Imam”.

Zafar ended up reading Surat-ul-Baqarah, the longest chapter in the Qur’an, in one cycle of prayer. “I dared him,” said Imam Khaled, “I didn’t think he’d say yes but he did it and I am now unemployed.” Since Zafar was successful in the dare, he is now the new Imam of Masjid Ar-Razzak.

Congregants weren’t too pleased with their deal however. Shariq Ansari, a long-time attendee of the mosque, knew the prayer was going to take awhile. “The first verse alone took over three minutes. I had no idea someone could stretch out alif, laam, meem for that long.”


The last row of the congregation couldn’t handle it and took a nap break.

Some of the attendees had physical setbacks as a result of the length. Abdul Hakim Kareem, 27, a budding professional basketball player, had suffered a career ending injury during the prayer. “As soon as he finished the surah and I went down into ruku, I tore both my ACLs simultaneously.”

Other attendees suffered from pulled hamstrings, sprained ankles and prolonged backlogged flatulence.

Shariq felt the ridiculously long prayer had transformed his family. “Before Taraweeh, my 11-year old son was a shrimpy little kid but after the prayer I noticed he sprouted a few inches and now has this deep Barry White voice. I think he hit puberty a few hours ago.” After the prayer Shariq’s son was seen sporting thick facial hair and feeling awkward around girls.

“The first verse alone took over three minutes. I had no idea someone could stretch out alif, laam, meem for that long.”

Lillaahiya wrote:I dont find this funny, waxaan wa khalad. The imaam has to take into consideration the people behind him, especially the elderly and sick.

Lillaahiya wrote:I dont find this funny, waxaan wa khalad. The imaam has to take into consideration the people behind him, especially the elderly and sick.

Perfect_Order wrote: Looool come back after afur and then you'll find this Ramadan satire funny

Lillaahiya wrote:So its not real? :/

Perfect_Order wrote:Yeah, you really need to eat. Lol