Experiencing Financial Abuse - H E L P!

[MissFiora]

I am a single Somali female making her own money. I have financial goals, I set these goals so that I can one day start a viable venture, God willing. But get this my parents are my biggest obstacle. I am forever shelling out money like i'm the World Bank, now now before you condemn me to hell and label me caasi hear me out.

I don't mind taking care of my parents or my immediate family what I can't understand is this lets " support a whole village back home" business that my parents are on. "Heblow naagtisaa baa umushaay, heblaayo iskool uniform bay u bahantahay". My mother is under the impression that i'm single and as a result I don't have better things to do with my money. I can never say no because i'll feel guilty and hate myself. I have one other friend going through the same issue, however she decided to lie about her salary and this how she manages to save money. I just feel like its hindering my progression as a young adult making her way in the world.

Anyone experiencing a similar issue ? How do you cope? I'm I being selfish for feeling this way? Talk to meee.

[DANGIRL]

Get married.

[SecretAgent]

Tell them to get lost,and never tell them how much you earn nobody should know.

[Caesar]

Nah you're not selfish, your correct, but u have two options
lie to your parents say rent is up yadda yadda, so u can save money

or tell the truth saying u dont wanna give money to people who dont work, then maybe mention u wanna save up for a business back home etc tho they might hate u

[Bella18]

I do understand where you are coming from sis, I was having the same issue few years back.
It was hard to tell my parents but it was such a relief to get it off my chest, honesty is the best policy. Just be upfront about your feelings and do tell them about your plans.

I don't understand sending money to these extended family relatives you have never met in your entire life.
Well I guess its good to give back to reer hebel hebel sometimes, SOMETIMES only not beginning of every single month.

[EvolSyawla]

My parents have learned that once you start giving, they like to spread the word and suddenly your kind hand becomes forced. So they don't give into that pressure, let alone pass it onto us.

I send money to my cousin who has a 50 kids, but a husband who would rather be a broke shiekh than be able to afford his family that he insists on growing.

Tell your parents you will (if you want) help someone who needs it, and otherwise you are saving for something important. Get a backbone sis, once they see your miskiin nature, they'll keep on taking.

[ChiefKimbo]

OP your needs comes first! Tell your parents to behave themselves.

[SiennaEarth]

Just tell your parents the truth. How old are your parents? If you have them older more "it's what we say or you're straight up caasi" type of parents then I don't know. I don't condone lying but maybe don't tell them how much you earn or tell them you're saving up.

[BeyondQabil]

My parents have learned that once you start giving, they like to spread the word and suddenly your kind hand becomes forced. So they don't give into that pressure, let alone pass it onto us.

I send money to my cousin who has a 50 kids, but a husband who would rather be a broke shiekh than be able to afford his family that he insists on growing.

Tell your parents you will (if you want) help someone who needs it, and otherwise you are saving for something important. Get a backbone sis, once they see your miskiin nature, they'll keep on taking.

I hope the same will be said of my family

[eliteSomali]

Tell your parents you got fired. Let them starve for a few months. They'll learn the values of money.

[EvolSyawla]

Have your 50 children inshallah, but you better work hard to feed and clothe and educate each one of them. That's the point alot of these Somalis (in Somali lands) are missing nowadays...

[salool]

You're an adult, just sit down with them and be honest.Haday iskuka waalwaalan shaqada waan joojinaya dheh.

Ur salary xita ka ku qaba baan lo sheegin iskaba waalidke.

[MissFiora]

I wish it was that simple ...telling my parents no means compromising my relationship with them. My mother especially her favourite line is "aduunka unn baa wax lesku yahay akhiiro waxba laa isma tari doono laa soco saas". Are married people free from such obligations ?

[Miss10]

My mother is forever forcing me into a never ending hagbad, so I have something to fall back on Alhamdulilah. Why don't you sit your parents down and discuss with them your goals and aspirations for the future.


Best of luck.

[StormShadow]

My mother is forever forcing me into a never ending xagbad, so I have something to fall back on Alhamdulilah. Why don't you sit your parents down and discuss with them your goals and aspirations for the future.


Best of luck.

Qué es xagbad?