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I am maybe an old-fashioned middle aged man that is culturally conservative but I have noticed something that is peculiar and worrying. In the good old days, birth giving was very special. It was something to anticipate and generally meant the expectant mother was treated like a queen for 40 days. The birth of the child was celebrated by duco and ululations.

For at least forty days after the birth of the child, the mom will not leave her home. She will be fed odkac , given gifts and celebrated for bringing a child to the world. She would have an army of relatives to cater to her needs. The husband will empty his pockets to make her happy.

For forty days, the mother will use a walking stick and will not leave her compound.

It did not matter if she was UGUB or not. That was the wisdom!

40 days after the birth of the child, the wisest relative/friend in town would introduce the child to the world. He/she will take the baby in his/her arms and walk around the compund. There is feast for all the women of village/town.

Today, I met a relative who gave birth four days ago. She was in town dining at McDonalds. To add salt to my cultural injury, she was pushing the baby in a baby tram. She also named the baby a name that sounded like an Indian movie character.

I met her and was embarrassed to say hi and congratulate her. It is a cultural crime to greet umul. A taboo. This is to ensure that she is not disturbed.

She thought I was drunk because I was maqane jooge and acted weird. I used to hug whenever I met her in town before. Today, I stood three metres from her and the baby.

Haha, walal times have move on and so did the diaspora somalis the sooner your realise the less shock/let downs. From my own experience with my sister who gave birth via Csection. my girl was up and in the kitchen making tea and treats week from her delivery for friends and relative visitors, she wouldn't sit her futo down or let us help.

Jaale,

I remember one summer after finishing uni I was unemployed and had nothing to do. By default I was chosen to travel to California to assist my adeero and his wife with their baby. My ayeeyo also flew in to help out. After 40 days we had a celebration my adeero traveled to some farm sacrificed a goat and I got the honour of being the person oo the child bixiyaa. My ayeeyo explained that the child is going 2 adopt the characteristics of qofkaa bixiyaa, my cousin is just as mild mannered as me Masha'Allah

My adeero's wife didn't leave her bedroom, she made an appearance to fadhiga when guests came to say hello but for the most part, we cooked, cleaned and tended to the newborn.

Anyway I feel like in order to maintain such a beautiful cultural practice we need to focus on building strong cohesive families. The Somali family is currently under externally and from within.

Miss10 wrote:Haha, walal times have move on and so did the diaspora somalis the sooner your realise the less shock/let downs. From my own experience with my sister who gave birth via Csection. my girl was up and in the kitchen making tea and treats week from her delivery for friends and relative visitors, she wouldn't sit her futo down or let us help.

I understand that medical science has progressed but I still find it odd that a woman who gave birth a few days ago will push her newly born child on the highstreet.

MissBonita wrote:Jaale,

I remember one summer after finishing uni I was unemployed and had nothing to do. By default I was chosen to travel to California to assist my adeero and his wife with their baby. My ayeeyo also flew in to help out. After 40 days we had a celebration my adeero traveled to some farm sacrificed a goat and I got the honour of being the person oo the child bixiyaa. My ayeeyo explained that the child is going 2 adopt the characteristics of qofkaa bixiyaa, my cousin is just as mild mannered as me Masha'Allah

My adeero's wife didn't leave her bedroom, she made an appearance to fadhiga when guests came to say hello but for the most part, we cooked, cleaned and tended to the newborn.

Anyway I feel like in order to maintain such a beautiful cultural practice we need to focus on building strong cohesive families. The Somali family is currently under externally and from within.

MissBonita, lotus to you and your family. That is wonderful to read. Goat? usually back in Africa, it is a sheep.

I agree that we are fighting an uphill battle. There are just some parts of our culture that are precious.

Miss10 wrote:Haha, walal times have move on and so did the diaspora somalis the sooner your realise the less shock/let downs. From my own experience with my sister who gave birth via Csection. my girl was up and in the kitchen making tea and treats week from her delivery for friends and relative visitors, she wouldn't sit her futo down or let us help.

If she doesnt rest after every childbirth, she will suffer from many problems after few years.Many somali women are not aware of what happens to their body during pregnancy.Sida digaagana wax way oo dhalayaan jirkoogana waxa ku dhacaya lama socdaan iyo dhaawaca gaadha.It breaks my heart when i see a girl who is not even 23 yet that already suffering from Urinary Incontinence.Walaasha naso ku dheh hadi kale iyada oo 40 gaadhin bay xafaayad xidhan.

Jaale It was probably a sheep sidaa lo cuno bes baan aqaana

Did you guys know the Chinese tradition has its own version of Afartan Bax .. They call it the "Sitting Month" they have a whole bunch of rules that the new mother has to follow. Anyways, I think its up to the younger generation to revive and transmit such traditions. If it wasn't for that experience I wouldn't known about it.

P.S thanks for writing about it.

that's all unnecessary.


woman gives birth standing up with no assistance like its nothing

Jaalle,

I fully agree!!' It's good to know you feel compassion for new mothers. I can tell u from experience that new moms do receive care and pampering. The woman u saw was probably out on her own wishes and less to do with abandonment, but Allah knows best!

So when your wife gives birth, make sure to implement these lost traditions...

Wait.. do u have a wife?, do u even seek to partake in matrimony/family life? Given your stated middle-age with no wife or children, I will happily trek on presumptuous territory and declare you don't wish to pursue such life...therefore unfit to pass opinion on the state of affairs affecting our new mothers. If am wrong and there are Jaalle jr's out there whose mother benefited from your affinity for lost traditions.. I stand corrected.. Otherwise practice what u preach

Gaalle, you hug women who are not related you? that's not old fashioned.

I'm gonna use the pregnancy/umul card as much as I can if I ever get knocked up inshaAllah Not gonna lift a finger.

Lillaahiya wrote:I'm gonna use the pregnancy/umul card as much as I can if I ever get knocked up inshaAllah Not gonna lift a finger.

Umaleey jacayl
Weli jaar ma noqoteen?
Jid ma wada lugeyseen?
Ma la cuntay jidiin wali?
Jihaad ma isku aragteen?
Jiidhkaad ka dhalatiyo?
Ma kaa jaray dadkiinii?
Gooni socod makaa dhigay?

Women should milk the company and sympathy as long as possible.Lakiin if she is someone kinda alone,i rather she got out after some rest.Not on the third postpartum depression is serious and less isolated the new mother is the better.

HooBariiska wrote:

Lillaahiya wrote:I'm gonna use the pregnancy/umul card as much as I can if I ever get knocked up inshaAllah Not gonna lift a finger.

Umaleey jacayl
Weli jaar ma noqoteen?
Jid ma wada lugeyseen?
Ma la cuntay jidiin wali?
Jihaad ma isku aragteen?
Jiidhkaad ka dhalatiyo?
Ma kaa jaray dadkiinii?
Gooni socod makaa dhigay?

Do you write these? Goddamn, you're Somali is at a 100 thousand

its a hees.