AbdiWahab aka Ronald Isley (Mr. Biggs)
A senior still on the wedding circuit chasing diracs. He’ll take you out for dinner and a movie and casually slip in marriage talks over a few bites of fillet mignon. He speaks your language. He's also a 10th degree black belt in shukansi. Don't get your hopes up, he only came for dessert.
Mr. Prestige - Chris Brown
Claims Xalimos aren’t loyal. They fawn over prison converts and accept second hand apples. Faraxs will hold you down no matter what, although a room of their exes looks like the United Nations general assembly.
NegroDamus aka Trey Songz (Trigga Trey)
Dispenses relationship advice; he rarely follows. Mr. Steal Your Xalimo is disrespectful. His main lady is kicking it in an asylum; an old flame is liberated to a better man and he proceeds to bed “that foreign.”
Geoseven aka Marques Houston (MH)
There’s no point bothering with him, even if he wants to give your love a try, it’s a matter of time before it’s full circle and back to his former beloved. Better catch the bus ‘solo.’ – You were stood up. No worries in 15 minutes the next one is coming.
Thehappyone Usher
For him it’s always ‘my way’ or the highway, but he’ll u-turn since you make him wanna leave the one he’s with. Just be ready at 7 o’clock on the dot. And don’t remind him of a girl he used to know or he’ll find love in da club.
Menace2Society R. Kelly (Kellz)
“His mind is telling him no but his body, his body is telling him yes”. He’s unapologetic about seeing nothing wrong with a little ‘bump and grind’ as long as it’s 100 ft. away from a school yard.
Perfect_Order aka T-pain
Fatally attracted to unavailable women or the dreaded tease, that promises the world but never delivers. These dames are downright dirty by continuing to play with his tender male emotions. Then again, he deserves it for being a flirt and casting his net too wide. – He wants the Atlantic to himself.
Warabe251 (Sisqo)
He has a pervy smirk permanently plastered on his face. He’s also a shorty that’s anthem is the “thong song.” It also doesn’t help that his hair is still spray painted silver. [Warning: the image in the top left corner is not a sling shot].
Zubeir – Musiq Soul Child
Seen as a good guy that occasionally spits bars. He’s constantly cordoned in the friend zone and content with just friends, since he doesn’t want to score a touchdown in the end zone. Rather he is a gentleman in pursuit of real love that transcends beyond the physical. – He’s on that marriage tip, get at him.
Sulfur - D’angelo
What voodoo do you do? There is a lady in waiting. No it’s a military coup of women complaining of something psycho-somatic that he caused *iatrogenic*. It only gets worse after each visit. Brown sugar is what he prescribed. Yet the lobby is still backlogged like a line up in Africa. Please stop asking hablo “how does it feel.”
Armaan – Lloyd Polite (Young Lloyd)
His country bumkin accent is alluring but you need Rosetta Stone to translate. I’m sure if he sings “hey young girl” or “get it shawty” it’ll sound crystal clear – Prompting the ladies to fan themselves.
These niggaz took an L. Add me to the hip hop category yarey.
