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If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 1:19 pm
by Marques
Would you stay married to him?
It's got me thinking, i've been told of a fella who was framed in some crime and given an 8 year prison sentence. His wife (who bore him a son that was now 4-5 years old) left him after 2 years he served, i don't know why exactly she left him but he lost some of his mental capabilities...IMO she was smart to cut her losses, even though she has his kid...What do you think?
Let's assume you loved him and he was a good man. He ended up in Jail for unjust reasons or on grounds of security threat (gaalada find any excuse to extradite suspects and take them to places like gitmo) and he was taken away from you for atleast a decade. Would you remain patient and wait till he was released or would you file divorce papers and join the hunt for a new one?
Re: If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 3:07 pm
by YummyMummy
Women are different and this sort of thing, if the guy is truly innocent, is a test from Allah. There was a brother in gitmo whose whole family was here and waiting for his release - Moazzam Begg? (could be wrong) - and his wife and kids waited for more than 10 years. He never saw his youngest, who was born after his father was taken away.
The wife of Ayyuub calayhis salaam waited patiently, in spite of all the tribulations that came their way.
Some people can't though, which means they failed the test, but does that mean they sinned? I don't think so (correct me if I'm wrong people). If they passed it, it would have elevated their iimaan & status in Jannah. Since they didn't, they stay where they are.
Re: If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 3:16 pm
by Expresso
All other things being equal, and God forbid that from happening, I don't think I would leave his side
Re: If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 3:23 pm
by Amira143
Naah ride or die chick ima hold it down till he gets out.

Re: If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 3:28 pm
by Smile-LiKe-SuN-RiSE
No..wan sugi lahaa..dhimasho un ba nagala wadi

Re: If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 4:35 pm
by zulaika
It seems the right thing to do... "Stand By Your Man" but it's important to note, that the man before the "hard times"(his treatment/maltreatment of his wife etc) will eventually play a role in the wife's commitment to her man. So if he was a man who did little to invest(I'm not talking monetary) in his relationship with his wife, I wouldn't fault a woman in that sort of predicament to walk away if he is imprisoned for many years...it's probably a blessing in disguise and clean slate to break free from him.
That being said, for me, given my situation... I wouldn't leave, heck I don't even think I could remarry if he passes away; but this is more to do with my personal comfort then assigning myself to lifelong mournful solitude. I would be more than content with focusing on raising my kids and not bring a new man into the picture.
Re: If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 5:20 pm
by Marques
^Stop being reasonable

I hate sensible answers, that's the kind of stuff i hear from Geoseven
Where's Julkimi & Co to drop the "onto the next one" and tell the inmate to find a new bride in jail or sumthing smh
Re: If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 5:24 pm
by LobsterUnit
Everyone say yes but the reality is somewhat different.. Suppose the couple are around 27,, they havent had any kids and the guy gets 13 years.will she wait till she is 40 to have kids? I guess you never know.secondly, never understimate the influence of somali families.i used to know a really young guy who had a wifey in somalia.he spent a year and half with with her then came back .the next time he was visiting her in the holidays, he told me his family told him to" try his best"-but divorce her if she didnt get pregnant.

Re: If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 5:27 pm
by Expresso
^The OP specifically said, if he was a good man. Simple.
Re: If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 5:29 pm
by MoAwr
Marques wrote:^Stop being reasonable

I hate sensible answers, that's the kind of stuff i hear from Geoseven
Where's Julkimi & Co to drop the "onto the next one" and tell the inmate to find a new bride in jail or sumthing smh
Sxb female brain is a mystery u asked an unreasonable question hence the "reasonable replies" next time try being some what reasonable and you will get what you are looking for,!
Anyhow zuliaka lady reply was deep

Re: If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 5:37 pm
by zulaika
Lol Marques,
Ok I withdraw my sensible answer... I didn't know you opened the thread for baashaal banter

Re: If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 5:40 pm
by zulaika
MoAwr,
His question was not unreasonable..

Re: If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 5:47 pm
by MoAwr
If the point was reasonable n the expected outcome was meant to be unreasonable then There might b a slight case dyslexia

yes mean no n no means no
Re: If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 5:55 pm
by garoweboy
Amira143 wrote:Naah ride or die chick ima hold it down till he gets out.


We need more xaliimos like you.
Re: If he was sentenced and jailed
Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:29 pm
by Julkimi
I feel like I am reading a page from Nicholas Sparks novel.
Let's be real, if the man is sentenced 10+ years, and you know deep down, you need a partner, someone to help you raise the kids, pay the bills. I am not going to waste my youth waiting for a man in jail. Okay let's say I waited for him, he comes out after 10 years, what are we going to do? cuddle? because he won't find a job with that credit. I won't be the one supporting him. If we have kids, ofcourse I will give him some money once in a while, but with my new husband's American express card.
