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Salaams ladies!!

With the exception of 1 or 2 members here, I know most of you are not mothers yet, inshallah when that day comes, what if you face a situation where you're unable to breast feed your newborn..for a number of reasons ranging from biological to personal choice, the latter rising mostly from modern world difficulties associated with career pursuits and long hours away from home and family. Without adding too much to that last complex layer; which quickly can descend into the entropy of the personal choice debate..

Simply put, what if the problem is because you're not lactating enough for your child's needs and you're not a fan of formulas(even their ads says "mothers milks is best").... Would u consider a wet nurse? They are so much more then a nanny, albeit she's only "feeding" the child....but it's a whole other ball game when a baby receives milk directly from a woman's breast. For some women, this is where they have trouble allowing another woman to breast feed their baby, that unexplainable connection between baby and mom which in this case must be forfeited, would it make u feel less of a mother to that child?...then again they say a mother will do anything for the wellbeing of her child.

So bottle or the breast of another woman?

Here's an interesting article about the surge of wet nurses, some mothers are even paying for the service..up to $1000/week.

http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2012/01/20 ... t-nursing/

W/Salam. Interesting topic. for me, if I'm unable to successfully breast feed my child, then I would substitute for the formula. It wouldn't feel right knowing that my child is feeding off someone else's breast, and that he/she is bonding with them in the process instead of me. Don't "they" say the most bonding/connection is made between a mother and her child during breast feeding?

Although it was common practice in Islam and before that, I would still feel uncomfortable. Alxamdulillah I had no problems in that department until solid foods were introduced into my son's diet; that coupled with long hours of studying made things difficult, but I tried hard alxamdulillah. While I was studying though, I remember another Nigerian sister whose son was often breastfed by his Turkish aunties (he was half, so cute!). I could never imagine it though for myself.

Would you do that Zulaika?

Wait wait I thought only new mothers could breast feed, I didn't know random woman could produce breast milk.

^ the women breastfeeding are often new mothers themselves. Breast milk works on a demand-and-supply process, so it doesn't necessarily run out.

Amira143 wrote:W/Salam. Interesting topic. for me, if I'm unable to successfully breast feed my child, then I would substitute for the formula. It wouldn't feel right knowing that my child is feeding off someone else's breast, and that he/she is bonding with them in the process instead of me. Don't "they" say the most bonding/connection is made between a mother and her child during breast feeding?

I think the fact that that baby is building that bond is most important. Because it becomes really easy to transfer over that connection once it's made. Besides it's so common in history and not once has that been an issue. So we have modern scientific findings that we really don't understand, how can we make such a conclusion as yours from it?

To me, I'd like my son's to be breastfed and if my wife can't and I had the opportunity to do it I would take it in a heartbeat. The benefits of breastfeeding outweigh every other concern.

Yummy,

I don't think I could let a stranger breast feed my baby,..I still think breast milk is paramount to baby's health..I don't know, walahi it be a tough one for me if I couldn't breast feed..I'd hope in such case my sister would give birth around same time, I'd let her do it without a doubt

Ps, how long did u breast feed your son?

8mths properly sis, but after that here and there randomly till 1.5 yrs I think (more out of comfort for him than nursing )
I miss that bond so badly Miss the whole journey in fact, pregnancy, labour, birth, breastfeeding, but especially the last one
Are you newly pregnant sis or do you already have kids? If so how many?

Amira143 wrote:W/Salam. Interesting topic. for me, if I'm unable to successfully breast feed my child, then I would substitute for the formula. It wouldn't feel right knowing that my child is feeding off someone else's breast, and that he/she is bonding with them in the process instead of me. Don't "they" say the most bonding/connection is made between a mother and her child during breast feeding?

I hear ya sister, and yes a major connection happens between baby and mom during breast feeding.. I don't know what it is, u just feel like you're transferring raxma to baby and baby knows it and is telling u back how much comfort you're bringing to him/her. I also bottle fed at times and funny enough I feel as though that "special feeling" I mentioned was in some ways compromised..

YummyMummy wrote:8mths properly sis, but after that here and there randomly till 1.5 yrs I think (more out of comfort for him than nursing )
I miss that bond so badly Miss the whole journey in fact, pregnancy, labour, birth, breastfeeding, but especially the last one
Are you newly pregnant sis or do you already have kids? If so how many?

1 child.. 8 months is pretty good, For me, 18 months, I wanted my daughter to feed till last drop

You miss pregnancy? You must've had a easy breezy one then I couldn't say the same..

^ awww what was wrong with yours hun? Alxamdulillah mine was made easier by Allah, and my mum being there 24/7 (ilaahay khair badan iyo ajar aanan dhamaaneynin ha siiyee, aamiin). I was mixing bottle with breast though, so I can't say it was pure. Laakin that's when I used to eat the best & healthiest food ever; I always used to imagine it going directly to him (even during pregnancy)
What's brought about this question though? Is it what I think it is?

I love how I was ignored

I can't say I had the best time during pregnancy, even with amazing support from mom sis hubby..even babymooning lol tbh it was that damn dreaded walac, worse than Kate Middleton, things got ok after that but I lost my enthusiasm.. And food? Oh my goodness, I feared it like the plague cuz I thought I will throw up anything I ate, this was mostly psychological, my doctor told me to eat blindfold strangely enough it worked.

P/O

sorry dear, we are waiting for Amira to answer your question..

Ps, I see you're still sticking to sons only demand

Wow blindfolding really worked? I might pass on that trick in shaa Allah to expectant mothers (if they wouldn't look at me like )
I didn't have the heart to tell PO this in his other thread (he was so damn eager) but it's all down to the DNA of his swimmers. Whether they're mostly XX (girls) or XY (boys)... or XXY (other)

Perfect_Order wrote:

Amira143 wrote:W/Salam. Interesting topic. for me, if I'm unable to successfully breast feed my child, then I would substitute for the formula. It wouldn't feel right knowing that my child is feeding off someone else's breast, and that he/she is bonding with them in the process instead of me. Don't "they" say the most bonding/connection is made between a mother and her child during breast feeding?

I think the fact that that baby is building that bond is most important. Because it becomes really easy to transfer over that connection once it's made. Besides it's so common in history and not once has that been an issue. So we have modern scientific findings that we really don't understand, how can we make such a conclusion as yours from it?

To me, I'd like my son's to be breastfed and if my wife can't and I had the opportunity to do it I would take it in a heartbeat. The benefits of breastfeeding outweigh every other concern.

PO, Breastfeeding is important to the baby's health and at the end of the day it's what the parents decide. I was only expressing my own selfishness. But I understand where you are coming from.


Ah chucks ladies, you're making me feel broody! MadhaAllah