Meet Adeer Mohamed

[Lamagoodle]

At the outset, adeer Mohamed, looks and acts as an emblematic somali. He is wise and is hot in fadhi-ku-dirirs. Xaawaleeydana haba sheegin; he will tell them stories and before you know it, they seem to have the hot pants for him. The rumour mills are in full swing that he has triple qodbosiros.

Every night adeer Mohamed watches all the somali TV channels. He calls Somalia and speaks to correspondents all over Somalia; Hargeisa, Borame, Bosaso, Xamar, Beledweyne and all the way to Luuq and Kulbiyoow, you name it. He is Somalia’s Reuters. He asks “maxaa la sheegay? . He will even watch CNN, Aljazeera Arabic even though he does not speak English/arabic. At the fadhi-ku-dirirs, he will tell you everything about Somalia and the world. He appears to know everyone, every country .

I met uncle Mohamed when he landed in Sweden a few years ago. He is a qaraabo qansax and had been given my phone number. He called my phone. I was not available so he left a message on my answering machine. He thought the Swedish voice was my secretary or even my girlfriend. He recorded; “ give me my Booy Lamagoodle” and then he left a message without being aware that he was recording; Naagtaan gaalka ah toloow ma saaxibtiisa mise wa karaaniyadiisa ama xaaskiisa”?

I recall that fateful day when I met him in the centre of Linköping, a town in central Sweden. It was a cold day and I realised that he still wore the suit that he bought in Nairobi. It was a very cold day and he was shivering. I took him to the nearest H&M shop and bought him a winter coat. I also realised that his lips were dry. I took him to the nearest pharmacy and bought him the lipstick. He threw it on the floor and shouted “ Nijis nijis dhalay, ma butaanad I moodey”? “ma inaan ku istiimo ayaad dooneysaa?”.

But now that is history. Adeer Mohamed’s vocabulary today mainly is based on three words:

1. Yahuud; He calls everyone in power Yahuud; his social security officer, his job-centre officer and even his doctor. Ironically, he even calls his local imam Yahuud because the Imam once told him be quite when he started a fadhi-ku-dirir session in the mosque

2. Amxaar; he sees Amxaaro in everything concerning Somalia. He calls every somali politician amxaaro lackey. If he sees a poor person or even sees some dirt on the streets, it is Amxaaro.

3. Dayuusbara and rijineer. He loves these words Sometimes, he even uses it out of context. The other day he called a friend in Xamar and told him “ War ninkaaga dayuusbara ah. Wadankii ka waran?”. He also calls everyone “Rijineer”. It took me days to figure out that by rijineer he meant injineer. He has this urge to give a title to everyone he meets.

[TheGrumpyGeeljire]

[Idman702]

I enjoyed reading this piece. The description of Adeer mohamed was captivating. Everyone has or met Adeer Mohamed once in their life. Bravo

[Lamagoodle]

True, Antijuli. Everyone has adeer Mohamed in their lives. I forgot to add this; if someone tells him that he/she got a job, he would ask " meesha dhaadhac ma leedahay?"

[Bella18]

Adeer Mohamed waa asalki

[Vivacious]

Lama, I refuse to read your story again.

[Kareem99]

Shit! You had me laughing throughout man, wallahi I go to maqaayad sometimes just to chill and hear what adeer Maxamed has to say.

Dayasbuura was the absolute best!

[Amira143]

You never disappoint with these stories awoowo.

[Machiavelli2]

Thanks Lama, adeer Mohamed's are the overwhelming Somali dads and if they are not already here, their elder sons and daughters are here to represent them. But what I can't figure out is why do we Somalis always consider idaacadda BBC and VOA waxa laga soo tebiyo as the absolute truth. You might argue with adeer Mohamed on a given news, then he will retort with confidence, adeer annigaa dhegaheeyga Kaga maqley BBC ama VOA.

Great read, thanks again.

[Vivacious]

That's coz VOA and BBC are the only reliable source of news lately.

[MujahidAishah]

True, Antijuli. Everyonve has adeer Mohamed in their lives. I forgot to add this; if someone tells him that he/she got a job, he would ask " meesha dhaadhac ma leedahay?"

somali iyo dhaadhac maxa kala haysta

[Thuganomics]

True, Antijuli. Everyonve has adeer Mohamed in their lives. I forgot to add this; if someone tells him that he/she got a job, he would ask " meesha dhaadhac ma leedahay?"

somali iyo dhaadhac maxa kala haysta

Dhaadhac meaning can you get me in there miyaa.Lams well written and entertaining sxb

[MujahidAishah]

Thug

Dhaadhac meaning money under the table dhacdhac *wink* *wink*

[Thuganomics]

^
Waa ii maanta."Every day is a school day"

[Lamagoodle]

Good to read that you like the chacterisation of adeer Mohamed.

DeeqaD, maxaa dhacay? I thought we become ul iyo diirkeedka.

Thuga; as Aisha wrote, dhaadac = corruptive spillovers.

Something else folks;

Adeer Mohamed thinks that the best job in the world is to become a somali xildhibaan/wasiir. When you tell him that you have a job like an MD, Nurse, Teacher, official, and explain to him that dhaadhac is out of the question, he would encourage you to become an MP. He will say; maxaa meesha ku dhigay? Soomaaliya maad tagtid oo TOLKAAGA wax u qabatid.

War soomaaliya ayaa lagu dhergay.

The unfortunate thing is that you cannot tell him how much you are making because; a) he will ask for constant qaaran b) he will tell the world that he knows a qaraabo who makes alot of money; he will multiply your salary by a factor of 10 just to brag. and before you know you become the qaraabo social security office

The best part is when he debates Ukraine and Russia. He will even comment the military machinery.