Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?

Post by **EvolSyawla** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:24 pm

People get married because they have aspirations of having a family, sustaining love etc. But in some circumstances, it ends up being only the woman working.

For women out there, would you be willing to stay in such a marriage? Considering you love him alot - he speaks the local language fluently, he is educated, can drive and all things considered, can do well for himself. But just isn't motivated to help out financially? He expresses love, is polite and sweet to you and takes care of the house with you. Is your love for him enough to overlook this? And for how long?

Men - Would a woman with such expectations of you bringing a paycheck to the household be considered a 'gold digger'?

eliteSomali · Post by **eliteSomali** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:29 pm

Why would a guy who is educated not find or want work?
Why would you "love" a man that won't provide?

The mind of a woman is a strange thing.

GAMES · Post by **GAMES** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:32 pm

Well I can understand if he is in Somalia, there are no Shaqo, but if he was, and had no shaqo, then that's a problem.

Post by **Basra-** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:34 pm

eliteSomali wrote:Why would a guy who is educated not find or want work?
Why would you "love" a man that won't provide?
The mind of a woman is a strange thing.

elite

there is many reasons-- qabil, family choice of marriage, etc etc

I have a cousin who graduated from 4 year degree in pharmaceutical. and then 2 more years in masters---as soon as she completed her studies, she did an intern job, started getting major pay check, and boom she got marriage arrangement to a taxi driver in MN. This lucky bastard only qualification is--he is not her first cousin but third cousin removed and the family recommended highly~ !

She started having babies every year, while going to work before giving birth.

Present · Post by **Present** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:34 pm

Elite- the mind and heart of a woman can bear a lot of things a man's couldn't.

Waa special beings

Post by **SiennaEarth** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:39 pm

Sorry I have no patience for lazy fxxk boys who can't cook and clean what makes you think I will have patience for one who doesn't want to work and earn a living?

Marques · Post by **Marques** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:46 pm

Would you give your daughter to a bum who never gets off his couch?

Post by **EvolSyawla** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:49 pm

Life happens. Just because you are educated does not mean you will find work or will be able to keep it. And not all educated people are motivated.

You married a man who worked. Things happen...he CAN find a job, just feels he is happy with the situation as it is now lol.

loll @ Gamer & Euphoriia

@ Present, love does magical things. It gives women patience to take on a lot.

@ Basra, you're right. Somali women unfortunately find themselves at a loss. Many women marry men with less earning capacity than them, but because they are the wives and can't pursue their career the way men can, household income reduces.

@Marques, though the question seems simple, it's referring to a couple's situation post-aroos.

FieldMarshalMenace · Post by **FieldMarshalMenace** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:50 pm

For instance! If she is from the West and as the pecking call is that she would naturally be earning way more than him sense she can easily work for an NGO then wa basically. In otherwords if all she will measure him is waxyaalo bilaa Macni like "he is sweet, loving and caring" then in the great Somali proverb is best to use about rigt now which is "laxdu meyshey is dhigto ba lagu gooracaa!

Horta what parents would allow a jobless man to marry their daughter...it's nacasnimo on her part..she is shallow and not foresighted.

Post by **Basra-** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:50 pm

EvolSyawla wrote:Life happens. Just because you are educated does not mean you will find work or will be able to keep it. And not all educated people are motivated.

You married a man who worked. Things happen and CAN find a job, just isn't.

loll @ Gamer & Euphoriia

@ Present, love does magical things. It gives women patience to take on a lot.

@ Basra, you're right. Somali women unfortunately find themselves at a loss. Many women marry men with less earning capacity than them, but because they are the wives and can't pursue their career the way men can, household income reduces.

@Marques, though the question seems simple, it's referring to a couple's situation post-aroos.

Evo
u will marry better! I adore you.

HorseedS · Post by **HorseedS** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:52 pm

Euphoriia wrote:Sorry I have no patience for lazy fxxk boys who can't cook and clean what makes you think I will have patience for one who doesn't want to work and earn a living?

You will end up with the Farax's you are running away from lol waxba ha iska waalin. Mid waxaad helaysaa markuu ka soo daalo fadhi kudirir oo guriga yimado ku dhahaya naa aawey cuntada ka sugayey. :pac:

YummyMummy · Post by **YummyMummy** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:54 pm

if he's in between jobs or it's a temporary thing, and he had a history of having worked + financially supported the family previously, why not?

Post by **EvolSyawla** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:56 pm

loll Eedo gacaliyso, I am referring to the situation of a few Somali women I know. My man is straight

Menace, he was earning well before the aroos, and into their marriage. She wants to have kids but knows if she goes on maternity leave, they will be earning less. Even though he will be around all the time to help her, and wants to.

So I'm asking you, is she considered a gold-digger for chasing away a jobless man? On her Mat-leave, they would still be okay financially.

Is she wrong to look at his paycheck (or lackthereof) knowing he gives her everything else a wife could need?

Post by **EvolSyawla** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:58 pm

Yummy, for the sake of the example, it doesn't look too temporary.

Mustafa is confidant in his ability to provide for Mawro in every way possible, minus going to work.

Present · Post by **Present** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:58 pm

After aroos you say? God forbid- but its a ' til death do us part'. I hate the idea of divorce. Plus women have an inner strength that can a) either build or b)destroy a nation. I say build, huuno.

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