Modern Day Polygamy

[EvolSyawla]

The mere idea brings shudders of disgust to most women. The social implications, the inherent evils that come from children born to some resentful mothers and irritation of the man doing as he pleases. Growing up in Somalia with a step-mother (bah) or more is commonplace, but for many of us qurbo the idea of our husband travelling back home and starting another family is grounds for the messiest drama and divorce possible.

Some men just go to different cities...I know someone with a wife in Ottawa, Toronto and Birmingham.

Many of these men don't care, it's their prerogative, so afkaaga iska hayso...even women in our communities tell the women 'shhhh, don't make a big fuss...what? Are you against what is xalaal for him?'...


Anyways, would you consider it?


Yes, Poll options are super-biased.

[Cherine]

That kind of polygamy is haraam, little do they know.

Sahal made an excellent post about it a few weeks back...i'll look for it.

[SolidCamel]

It's nearly impossible in today's day and age. It used to be a necessity but now it's not. So na no need IMO. Niggaz can barely hold down one wife why take on another?

If I had to have two wives from this forum tho... Lemme think about it

[Cherine]

^ Stick to being "political analyst"

lol do you know that the shafici scholar imam al ghazali has said polygamy brings misery?

Your free to state your opinion bu don't try to be against mine

I'm hanafi and we don't believe having more than one wife is sunna like the new somali salafi/hanbali and inbu baaz followers would like to use it as a fatwa for their sexual setisfaction!

Its just mobah-permited- in such extraordinary circumstances and its clear that its against the spirit of the quran like allah creating for sayidna adam one wife

In every where the quran uses the term "zawj" wich means spouse, wife or husband

In one verse the quran talks about keeping your wife maybe is the best/khair for you though you may dislike her-means when there's no more mawaddah-effections/love between two of you- so says by the end of the verse "but if you wish to marry another wife-zawj- in place of the one you already have, do not take back anything of what you have given her even if it be a heap of gold. Would you take it back through slander and open sin (accusing her unjustly"

It doesn't talk about getting a second wife but a new love!

Actually the verse that gives such permission was dealing with some orphans and wasn't dealing with the marriage itself as the previous verse

A lot of muslim men have been killed in the jihad so there were a lot of orphans who were adopted by some guardian men

Many of them were girls, many had a wealth so for the guardian men it was hard for them some how...so, in order to be one of the family and invest in their wealth for the family it was allowed to marry their mothers with these conditions but nowadays it became a custom

Other opinions say the mentioned orphans were girls and was allowed to marry them with these conditions

And if you be apprehensive that you will not be able to do justices to the orphans you may marry two or three or 4...until marry only one

In germany after the second world war a lot of women had no men

So basically this verse was addressing such cases; taking care of the women and orphans who lost their husbands and fathers in the wars

My stand on this issue is to adop a law that allows it with the consent of the wife

This law was introduced in some hanafi and shafi countries like pakistan, indonosia and malaysia.

Anyways good luck for your misery and crazy life till I become an mp!

Wassalam.

[EvolSyawla]

Yes Cherine, It is very xaram, and they DO know this...problem is - they don't care! I know someone who secretly married a wife recently. We all found out afterwards, and his wife (very understandably) went bananas.

lol @ Solid, I agree. Why not work towards success with one family, instead of stretching your cayd through 2-3 families? Everyone lives resenting the little that they have. We are not nomads anymore where this would be normal, nor are qurbo women in a position of being desperate for a husband's protection.

[Kaafiye]

Notice how these characters disparage polygamy yet they stay strangely silent on casual sex, group-sex, homosexual activity, and serial dating.

They hate one but not the other. Wallahi these liberals are the lowest of the low

[libaaxSalaax]

why not ? if parties involved are happy and want it why is it any of our business. you don't want to be in a polygamy marriage you have a right to say no on your contract(meher).

[barbarossa]

Notice how these characters disparage polygamy yet they stay strangely silent on casual sex, group-sex, homosexual activity, and serial dating.

They hate one but not the other. Wallahi these liberals are the lowest of the low

Excellent point right there!

[EvolSyawla]

Thanks for that. Good post.

"And if you be apprehensive that you will not be able to do justices to the orphans you may marry two or three or 4...until marry only one" I understand his post, minus this part. Marry orphans?

The right to marry more than one woman as a means of protection from the world for her (and in some cases, with her children) is fair, and if love is fostered between the couple, that too is fair. But it's also very rare that these circumstances present themselves.


Cherine macaaney, if the 'right' circumstance (astakfrullah lol) presented itself, would you allow your husband to marry twice? Or if you feel strongly about a man, only to find out he is already married, would you still consent?

[EvolSyawla]

Notice how these characters disparage polygamy yet they stay strangely silent on casual sex, group-sex, homosexual activity, and serial dating.

They hate one but not the other. Wallahi these liberals are the lowest of the low

I know you are not talking about me.

What are you talking about? I asked men, would you do it? I asked women, would you accept it.

I am sure you have beef with certain 'characters' on this forum, but do not include me in them. Thank you.

[EvolSyawla]

why not ? if parties involved are happy and want it why is it any of our business. you don't want to be in a polygamy marriage you have a right to say no on your contract(meher).

Aww, are you getting defensive? I asked a question, referencing that there is a lot of societal issues that are borne from it. It is my business because we are one community, and the abuse of this right is abhorrently prevalent. I know I have a right, and that's why I voted what I did. Either vote and bring an opinion, or leave.

You guys are so emotional.

[Cherine]

The polygamy that many Somalis practice whether they be lay men or Sheikhs [some] is haraam and something ilaahay will take them to account for on yamul qiyamah. A lot of injustice abounds!

I know many painful stories where fathers who had married a second wife had to beg and ask forgiveness from their first wives and the children they abandoned, usually either after a fatal diagnosis or when the second wife dumped them after she realises she will not be shipped to the West.

[EvolSyawla]

The sad part is, there is no way a man will disclose this to the first wife upon marrying her - that he will one day consider a second wife. "What? No, I would never."

They met in the west, beautiful wedding, baby photos on fb, romance and everything...only to find out after 4 children he changed his mind on the matter and doesn't mind a young hooha from his tol.

When confronted, people justify it by saying 'sixir ayaay saartay', the second wife. I'm dealing with a situation right now, it's traumatic for their children.

[Cherine]

Poor kids. Did he go ahead with it? Is she in the same country or a different continent as is the case with Somalis?

[EvolSyawla]

Of course, his first wife is in Europe, and didn't know about it until he came back from his 'business trip'.. Do you know how many guys come to Somalia for their overseas hooha? I apologize for the crude reference, but that's all it seems to be.