SomaliNet Forums

I have a relationship dilemma. I'm at a crossroad in my life and either way I choose I'll end up somewhere distant. The only thing I know is that different paths usually don't lead to the same goal.

I met this woman, we've known each other for a while. She's good looking and all but what I like the most about her is her personality and her 'dadnimo'. The only problem is that she's not Somali. I've never met a Somali girl that has 1/10 of her characteristics. Every minute I'm with her she makes me feel good. No tushuush, no bs. I'm thinking of marrying her in the future but..

My question to you is, should I lay back for a while and see if I'll meet a Somali girl with those characteristics or is it one of those few times you'll say fuck it let's go interracial?

Ila tali.

LOL, sorry to butt in son but go ahead, they will still be Soolmadoow .

I know but it's all these questions man. I remember a Somali neighbor who's in an interracial marriage. The kids were mixed and lets just say the white genes were dominant and when the kids reached the age of 5 they use to ask the Somali parent "why are you black".

Not that I'm dark like my former neighbor but how do you even deal with that shit.

On top that my family is anti interracial marriages.

War saan isku dhaamee......

Gabar fiican laga waaymayo East London.

I'm not from the UK but Scandinavia (Sweden) where Somalis are minority and good looking, decent Somali women a rare commodity.

Or do you mean east London because of my sub clan?

Are you choosing her because you want her and all that comes with that kind of relationship


Or are you choosing her because you are running away from the alternatives around you

Bro, it will definitely complicate matters in the future, for your children especially.

What sort of upbringing do you want the children to have? Are you passionate about raising them with 'Somali' values and is she willing to accommodate those values?

Will your family be wiling to accept her as time progresses and overcome their prejudices?

Is she strong enough to cope with the prejudice that she will encounter, especially back home? I am assuming you intend to spend a lot of time back there.

It is a challenge and I am sure there are plenty more questions on your mind.

My stance would be better safe than sorry but then again I am commenting from a conservative perspective.

Lol, but they're not very practising too.

Yes, I say it mainly because of your subclan, I'm sure you'll family would like it if you marry close, laakin London is full of Xalimos from every damn part, ee marry a Somali.

That is my point, I'm anti-interracial, ain't nobody got time for that.

I say go for it, who cares what Somalis think, this is 2015. Sure your kids might get teased for looking different, but you don't live for the expectations of other people.

Always go for what you want in life and make your own destiny. If you ask Somalis for an advice they would give you 20 million reasons why it's wrong or this or that.

Xildiidow, love comes and goes. The same woman who you loved to just watch sleeping in the mornings will turn into the bane of your existence. Do your future kids a favour and marry from tolka

Dooni ba Libya habeen dhaweed ka soo baxday, hadu Ilaahay soo nabad keeno, there will be tons of Xalimo's heading your way.

Afkiina bara and youse are good to go.

Yasmine,

Both you could say. I really like this girl but if it was between this woman and a Somali woman with those superior characteristics then there's no doubt about it. I would choose the Somali because if anything happens, I know they wont grow up confused about who they are.

Zumaale,

It's all those questions. I want for them to have a Somali upbringing. If she will cope with that I don't know. Can she handle the prejudice and preconceived ideas of some of my relatives, I don't know.

Some of that prejudice comes from a relative of my mother. He married a Cadaan Woman in early 90's and dude was a xayraan with zero outlook on life. Nonetheless he married the woman, fathered a child and everything was alright. After a while they grew apart because of different cultures and during a Christmas dinner after a brief argument, his in law came with one of the dishes. It was pickled herring and in Swedish it's called Sill. As soon as he heard Sill he was like . He thought Sill and the Somali word Siiil had the same meaning so he bounced. It was the straw that broke the camels back. In his mind he was like, I put up with a lot of bullshit but I'm not eating Siiil.

Anyways, the woman took his daughter and moved to a small city. She broke contact with all of us and just recently we saw his daughter, who's my age, with cadaan children of her own. She's doesn't even know she's Somali.

Prejudice is never justified but I know where my relatives are coming from.

Veiled,

I'm anti inbreeding as well. I won't marry from my sub clan.


Somalis though.

-

Liquid,

True, marrying a Somali woman won't guarantee that they won't become confused (interqabiil).

We'll see though.

So many thoughts in my head.

Stuckton,

If you're among those hordes I'm willing to save you.

Bro from the tone of your posts I feel that you should go for a Somali. This woman may seem amazing but there will always be some sort of regret if you go with her, whereas if you went with a Somali girl with the personality traits you seek, there would be no regrets.

Either way good luck, I wish you the best.