Saving Somalia; a tentative manifesto

[Lamagoodle]

How are you doing folks?

Let us face it folks. Run iyo ilkoba waa la cadeeyaa. We do not have a nation. By all accounts, our people are at the lowest of strata of every conceivable measurement. Intellectual and material poverty is rampant. In the diaspora, despite decades of presence, we are under achievers compared to other ethnic groups. Lets us spare ourselves the nacnac of " qatar baan nahay

We have become the “others” in an evolving , rich and advancing world characterised by logic, common values and goals.

The name Somali once feared around the globe is today synonymous with a myriad of words with negative connotations; pirates, morons warlords, religious zealots, welfare parasites. It is wixii dhiig lahoow kaca when a country like Swaziland where hygiene does not exist, compares our people cockroaches. It is wixii dhiig lahow kaca when Adisabebe and Nairobi have become our Mecca.

The only thing we seem to have in abundance is a false pride. The waan-daadshe mentality is keeping us behind. We have institutionalised it. We reproduce a discourse that is far from the truth. This discourse cannot stand a simple litmus test of veracity. We call shanty towns sprawling cities because it is domiciled by an elusive tribe that we constructed. We call a small stream an an ocean because it is located in a barren region that we call “land”, we call a pond a sea because it is located in a dusty town which our “people” live in.

We are on a train which will have a long-term repercussions. Self destruction. The train of “waan-daadshe” is driven simultaneously by the wadaads, waables and waranles. All of us are passengers on it smoking the cool aid of “ waan daadshe”. The deceitful view that we are a great people/nation/country has become opium which we all sniff. It is not a truism.

What do we have? Nothing. Just empty talk. If there was a Noble Prize in baloney talk, we would surely get it year after year.

The realm of waan daadshe has become our companion. It has become the membrane of our moral decay.

At the heart of our problem is poverty. No, no, not material poverty but an intellectual one. We are a people who do not think before we leap. We do not have limits to how much we can steal, how much we can lie, how much we can boast etc. We condone thieves, warlords, enemy lackeys simply because they represent a socially constructed entity that mutates like a cancerous cell.

We do not want to admit to solid facts e.g. that we are poor, that our kids are underperforming, that other nations/people laugh at, that we have become parasites in the diaspora, that we shun the noble art of work. We are after all citizens of the waan daadshe nation.

If Darwin/Lamarck were alive today, the Somali would have provided them with empirical data to the social dimension of natural selection, adaptation, polymorphism and generic drift. Their empirical fields would have been Somalia and Toronto, Stockholm, MN, London and every city that is home to more than a dozen somalis.

We have heritable traits of sociological/psychological populations in less than three generations. Maybe, it is even biological. I don’t know that. Diversity in our case is not more than “waa sidaasi laakin wax iga si”.

On the political front, we have established Baluchistans. It is Lalalaland this, lalaland that. This balkanisation appears to serve the purpose of “madaxweyne mar I dhaha” which is depicted in a satirical song by Mustafa Sheikh Cilmi. The formation of Baluchistans also serves to disseminate the waan daadshe mentality. Oh Lord, if Faan (boasting) would have been a commodity we would have been the richest nation/people on earth.

In the diaspora meetings, we wave flags. These occasions provide as with cool aid to mock the people back home by showing off our dirac, dahab, diana face, suits and badly tied ties. These are bought with welfare money, qiyaamo qaran, af minshaarnimo.

We have even bililiqisised the word “Land”. We have created Somali Baluchistans which are tribal enclaves which will soon mutate into clan fiefdoms and inevitably a ticking bomb that will explode. There will be tribal wars, clan wars, sub-clan wars and molecular wars at the reer levels.

For your information, this is not the case of “Somalia” the former Italian colony, alone. Even the beacon of peace, Somaliland is going through the same problems. Qabiil qaran ma noqdaa? There is a path dependency to somali contemporary policy. As mentioned earlier, this is genetic trait.

I know that many of the esteemed readers will claim that members like your correspondent are always criticising the status quo without suggesting tangible solutions.

Guess what? I have the following suggestions and I want your input on how to save Somalia from its people.

1.The notion of federalism as it is today is a farce. A poor nation that is sparsely populated and with a population that has been traumatised by decades of war and fed institutional tribalism cannot have federal states. Granted the creations of the so called federal states is a precursor to civil wars that would dwarf previous wars. The creation of Bangladeshi/ Pakistan/Indian and the subsequent deaths of millions may serve as an example. I propose the formation of two federal states ; Somaliland and Somali.

2.The presidency will rotate every two years between Somaliland and Somalia. The president will be elected by 83 mayors elected from the 84 districts( municipalities) that existed prior to the disintegration of Somalia. They will vote for one president from the federal republic of Somaliland for year I and Somalia for year two.

3.The districts will be allowed to have their own tax regime to cover healthcare and education costs. They decide the tax rate and will be allowed to tax property, take income tax and local levies.

4.The Federal government will be led by a PM whose cabinet will consist of less than five ministers; Finance, Justice, District/regional, Defence and Foreign affairs. The post of Information minister will be banned in the new constitution. It is dictatorships, absolute monarchies and un democratic countries that have a propaganda minister.

5.An international tribune to try human rights abuses will be established in the Hague. Any Somali, who is suspected of committing genocide, murder, graft and other crimes will be arraigned, tried and face the wheels of justice. Death penalties will be the norm the first few years.. this will subsequently be turned into jail terms

6.Local courts at the district levels will be established to ensure that justice is executed. Humiliation will be the desired form of punishment for the guilty.

7.The Federal government’s budget will come from Value added taxes, customs and exercises and capital tax.

8.Agriculture and animal husbandry will be promoted and subsidized. Imports of food will be taxed

9.Truth and reconciliation councils will be established at the district level where every citizen can ask for a sitting to consider griviences

10. Public officials will be paid generous salaries to equipoise what they will get in bribes and kick-backs

What do you say?

[26June1960]

2.The presidency will rotate every two years between Somaliland and Somalia. The president will be elected by 83 mayors elected from the 84 districts( municipalities) that existed prior to the disintegration of Somalia. They will vote for one president from the federal republic of Somaliland for year I and Somalia for year two.

[Lamagoodle]

2.The presidency will rotate every two years between Somaliland and Somalia. The president will be elected by 83 mayors elected from the 84 districts( municipalities) that existed prior to the disintegration of Somalia. They will vote for one president from the federal republic of Somaliland for year I and Somalia for year two.

What are you laughing at?

The typo? 83/84

I want to hear your views on saving Somalia. Your two cents per favour. Or are you content with the status quo?

[Bandit]

2 federal states huh go fuck your self
nothing I hate more than people who pretend there above clans just to push clan agenda

[TheCadaanGuy]

All Somalia needs is a group that majority of Somalis are happy to be part of.

ICU almost took over the country and had Ethiopians not invaded, I'm sure many of us would be living in Somalia by now. Of course, that's assuming ICU doesn't go power crazy and/or go extreme in their views.

A group based on a mix of religion and nationalism should do it.

[Lamagoodle]

2 federal states huh go fuck your self
nothing I hate more than people who pretend there above clans just to push clan agenda

I cannot f.. myself. How can one do that?

Let us wait for the missiles from the other side.

[Lamagoodle]

All Somalia needs is a group that majority of Somalis are happy to be part of.

ICU almost took over the country and had Ethiopians not invaded, I'm sure many of us would be living in Somalia by now. Of course, that's assuming ICU doesn't go power crazy and/or go extreme in their views.

A group based on a mix of religion and nationalism should do it.

Thank you for your input

The ICU period was an anomaly underpinned by Sharia law and given the geopolitical climate today, such a group will not evolve.

What Somalis need, in my humble opnion, is to abandon the waan daadshe mentality and its offshot of " power"

[SaciidAyanleh]

Adeer, Somalia is gone. It never even existed. It is a foreign invention that is clung to because of greed. Somaliland has demonstrated that it can militarily hold its territory (with the exception of a border towns here and there). That is the truest marker of sovereignty and statehood and the international community will come around.

Let go of the idea of a Somalia that includes Somaliland. Focus on getting that sinking ship (objectively) in order before more is lost.

[Hyperactive]

Salam sheikh lamagoodle,

first of all, it's not fair to put somalia, specially south, and somaliland in one place.

i think mogadishu needs to figure out how to share power between southern people before anything else. somaliland is safe place and have peaceful situation.

the problem not somaliland but somalia. how we solve issue in somalia should be the topic.

[Lamagoodle]

Adeer, Somalia is gone. It never even existed. It is a foreign invention that is clung to because of greed. Somaliland has demonstrated that it can militarily hold its territory (with the exception of a border towns here and there). That is the truest marker of sovereignty and statehood and the international community will come around.

Let go of the idea of a Somalia that includes Somaliland. Focus on getting that sinking ship (objectively) in order before more is lost.

Thanks for your input. There is no doubt that Somaliland at the begining took off; peace, democracy etc but in recent years, there are signs that it is going the same path as the south.

The disease of qabilism which mutates like a cancerous cell is everywhere adeer. Me think

[Lamagoodle]

Salam sheikh lamagoodle,

first of all, it's not fair to put somalia, specially south, and somaliland in one place.

i think mogadishu needs to figure out how to share power between southern people before anything else. somaliland is safe place and have peaceful situation.

the problem not somaliland but somalia. how we solve issue in somalia should be the topic.

Adeer, Somailand and Somalia have the same kind of fundamental problems. They are also both populated by Somalis, same institutions and poor. Yes,there are some major differences e.g. in mitigating conflicts, building peace etc but they share the "waan daadshe" mentality and everything I wrote above.


P.s. did you read Bandit's reply?

[Hyperactive]

lol maya. i have collective reading. i am not able to read "wah naftu dideyso " wa barakadi sheikh aweys ban o maleyni.lol

[Lamagoodle]

lol maya. i have collective reading. i am not able to read "wah naftu dideyso " wa barakadi sheikh aweys ban o maleyni.lol

[SaciidAyanleh]

Adeer, Somalia is gone. It never even existed. It is a foreign invention that is clung to because of greed. Somaliland has demonstrated that it can militarily hold its territory (with the exception of a border towns here and there). That is the truest marker of sovereignty and statehood and the international community will come around.

Let go of the idea of a Somalia that includes Somaliland. Focus on getting that sinking ship (objectively) in order before more is lost.

Thanks for your input. There is no doubt that Somaliland at the begining took off; peace, democracy etc but in recent years, there are signs that it is going the same path as the south.

The disease of qabilism which mutates like a cancerous cell is everywhere adeer. Me think

Nowhere near the same path, but that's your opinion so I respect that.

Somaliland has political issues, Somalia has legitimacy issues.

[TheGrumpyGeeljire]

How are you doing folks?

Let us face it folks. Run iyo ilkoba waa la cadeeyaa. We do not have a nation. By all accounts, our people are at the lowest of strata of every conceivable measurement. Intellectual and material poverty is rampant. In the diaspora, despite decades of presence, we are under achievers compared to other ethnic groups. Lets us spare ourselves the nacnac of " qatar baan nahay

We have become the “others” in an evolving , rich and advancing world characterised by logic, common values and goals.

The name Somali once feared around the globe is today synonymous with a myriad of words with negative connotations; pirates, morons warlords, religious zealots, welfare parasites. It is wixii dhiig lahoow kaca when a country like Swaziland where hygiene does not exist, compares our people cockroaches. It is wixii dhiig lahow kaca when Adisabebe and Nairobi have become our Mecca.

The only thing we seem to have in abundance is a false pride. The waan-daadshe mentality is keeping us behind. We have institutionalised it. We reproduce a discourse that is far from the truth. This discourse cannot stand a simple litmus test of veracity. We call shanty towns sprawling cities because it is domiciled by an elusive tribe that we constructed. We call a small stream an an ocean because it is located in a barren region that we call “land”, we call a pond a sea because it is located in a dusty town which our “people” live in.

We are on a train which will have a long-term repercussions. Self destruction. The train of “waan-daadshe” is driven simultaneously by the wadaads, waables and waranles. All of us are passengers on it smoking the cool aid of “ waan daadshe”. The deceitful view that we are a great people/nation/country has become opium which we all sniff. It is not a truism.

What do we have? Nothing. Just empty talk. If there was a Noble Prize in baloney talk, we would surely get it year after year.

The realm of waan daadshe has become our companion. It has become the membrane of our moral decay.

At the heart of our problem is poverty. No, no, not material poverty but an intellectual one. We are a people who do not think before we leap. We do not have limits to how much we can steal, how much we can lie, how much we can boast etc. We condone thieves, warlords, enemy lackeys simply because they represent a socially constructed entity that mutates like a cancerous cell.

We do not want to admit to solid facts e.g. that we are poor, that our kids are underperforming, that other nations/people laugh at, that we have become parasites in the diaspora, that we shun the noble art of work. We are after all citizens of the waan daadshe nation.

If Darwin/Lamarck were alive today, the Somali would have provided them with empirical data to the social dimension of natural selection, adaptation, polymorphism and generic drift. Their empirical fields would have been Somalia and Toronto, Stockholm, MN, London and every city that is home to more than a dozen somalis.

We have heritable traits of sociological/psychological populations in less than three generations. Maybe, it is even biological. I don’t know that. Diversity in our case is not more than “waa sidaasi laakin wax iga si”.

On the political front, we have established Baluchistans. It is Lalalaland this, lalaland that. This balkanisation appears to serve the purpose of “madaxweyne mar I dhaha” which is depicted in a satirical song by Mustafa Sheikh Cilmi. The formation of Baluchistans also serves to disseminate the waan daadshe mentality. Oh Lord, if Faan (boasting) would have been a commodity we would have been the richest nation/people on earth.

In the diaspora meetings, we wave flags. These occasions provide as with cool aid to mock the people back home by showing off our dirac, dahab, diana face, suits and badly tied ties. These are bought with welfare money, qiyaamo qaran, af minshaarnimo.

We have even bililiqisised the word “Land”. We have created Somali Baluchistans which are tribal enclaves which will soon mutate into clan fiefdoms and inevitably a ticking bomb that will explode. There will be tribal wars, clan wars, sub-clan wars and molecular wars at the reer levels.

For your information, this is not the case of “Somalia” the former Italian colony, alone. Even the beacon of peace, Somaliland is going through the same problems. Qabiil qaran ma noqdaa? There is a path dependency to somali contemporary policy. As mentioned earlier, this is genetic trait.

I know that many of the esteemed readers will claim that members like your correspondent are always criticising the status quo without suggesting tangible solutions.

Guess what? I have the following suggestions and I want your input on how to save Somalia from its people.

1.The notion of federalism as it is today is a farce. A poor nation that is sparsely populated and with a population that has been traumatised by decades of war and fed institutional tribalism cannot have federal states. Granted the creations of the so called federal states is a precursor to civil wars that would dwarf previous wars. The creation of Bangladeshi/ Pakistan/Indian and the subsequent deaths of millions may serve as an example. I propose the formation of two federal states ; Somaliland and Somali.

2.The presidency will rotate every two years between Somaliland and Somalia. The president will be elected by 83 mayors elected from the 84 districts( municipalities) that existed prior to the disintegration of Somalia. They will vote for one president from the federal republic of Somaliland for year I and Somalia for year two.

3.The districts will be allowed to have their own tax regime to cover healthcare and education costs. They decide the tax rate and will be allowed to tax property, take income tax and local levies.

4.The Federal government will be led by a PM whose cabinet will consist of less than five ministers; Finance, Justice, District/regional, Defence and Foreign affairs. The post of Information minister will be banned in the new constitution. It is dictatorships, absolute monarchies and un democratic countries that have a propaganda minister.

5.An international tribune to try human rights abuses will be established in the Hague. Any Somali, who is suspected of committing genocide, murder, graft and other crimes will be arraigned, tried and face the wheels of justice. Death penalties will be the norm the first few years.. this will subsequently be turned into jail terms

6.Local courts at the district levels will be established to ensure that justice is executed. Humiliation will be the desired form of punishment for the guilty.

7.The Federal government’s budget will come from Value added taxes, customs and exercises and capital tax.

8.Agriculture and animal husbandry will be promoted and subsidized. Imports of food will be taxed

9.Truth and reconciliation councils will be established at the district level where every citizen can ask for a sitting to consider griviences

10. Public officials will be paid generous salaries to equipoise what they will get in bribes and kick-backs

What do you say?

adeer, intaana dal la dhisin waxa qasab ah ina dadka la dhiso. Somalis in general need to be educated on the importance of statehood, the destructive nature of tribalism and the benefits of having a strong work ethic.