Assalamu Alaikum,
----------------------------
"Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar..." The Adhan, it's magrib already? Subhan'Allah..how time rushes. I quickly wiped off my tears and ran to the toilet to make wudu. My first prayer where I will sincerely stand in front of my Lord after four years, "It's about time I repent from my sins" I think to myself, "I don't blame my family for hating me or even wishing death on me...I mean, I would hate my daughter if she did what I have done." I finished making wudu and put on my Hijab, prepared myself for prayer. I spread out the prayer mat and begin praying salatul Magrib.
*Knock, Knock* My dad comes walking in with my two brothers.
"What the heck were you thinking of? How can you do this to dad? To us? Do you know the difficulties you have put us through? Do you ever think about others apart from yourself? Huh?" Yells out my brother Zakaria. I don't dare reply back, not after seeing that look on his face.
"Talk to me and stop staring at me!" Yells Zakaria
"Leave her alone, let me handle her" says my older brother Ibrahim
"So where did you go? Who were you with?" Asks Ibrahim
Silence
"Talk to me before I slap you" Threatens Ibrahim
"No one, I was only with Asiya..." I replied quietly feeling hopeless as they obviously did not believe me. Tears come running down at the thought of this.
"Why won't anyone believe me? Why can't they see that I'm telling the truth? I know I deserve everything that's happening to me and probably even worse, but I can't take this anymore..Ya Allah, help me please." I say to myself
"Asiya? Then why is Asiya saying there were other people with you both? Guys? Huh? We know you are lying so you might as well start being honest with us!!" says Ibrahim angrily
"I don't care what Asiya says, I'm telling you the truth, Allah (SWT) can see that I'm telling the truth and whether you want to believe or not is seriously up to you for I don't care anymore...I'm sick and tired of having to repeat myself! As long as Allah (SWT) can see that I'm telling you the truth, and frankly that is all that matters!" I reply as I get up with the intention to walk off and run but Zakaria closes the door and pushes me back to my sit.
I look at my dad who is just standing there staring.
"Dad don't you believe me? I'm telling the truth" I ask, looking straight at dad
Silence
"Dad? Don't you?" I say with tears running down my face, "I swear dad, it was only me and Asiya...she is lying, there were no other people with us and even if there were…it would have been girls not guys!"
Silence
"Dad? Please believe me, I'm telling you the truth..I swear I'm not lying. Please....Please, you have to believe me dad!" I say as I start crying not knowing what to do.
"Get up and go wash the dishes" yells Ibrahim, "And after you finish washing them, clean the kitchen."
I got up and walked towards the kitchen, "I deserve this, I deserve this" I think to myself as I'm walking down to the kitchen.
After washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen, I ran back to my room and closed my door. I prepared myself for isha prayer and prayed. I hear footsteps heading my way, "O Lord, please don't let it be my brothers or dad...I want to be left alone, I want everyone to just leave me alone. Why can't they understand that?" I take all my clothes off my bed and lay down
"How could Asiya do this to me? I thought she was my best-friend...why is she making lies about me? I can't believe this! Why is she lying? Why is she getting herself out of trouble and putting me in the trouble zone?" I ask myself, "How could she betray me? Best-friends don't betray each other; they stick up for each other! Was she just pretending to be my friend?"
*knock, Knock* "Dinner is ready if you are hungry" calls out my sister Ilhan who does not even bother to come in and talk to me or even ask me how I'm doing
"She obviously hates me...she probably wishes that I die too" I think to myself
"No thank you, I'm not hungry" I replied
My sister walks off; I can hear her footsteps as she walks her way to the kitchen.
I hear my dad mention my name and I quickly get up from my bed and lean against my bedroom door slowly so as to not make any noise.
"What did she say?" Dad asks my sister
"She is not hungry" Replies Ilhan, "So did she say who she was with?"
"No, she is saying she was with Asiya only but I doubt she is being honest with us, after all she has put us through...how can we believe anything she says?" Replies dad, "I have just lost all hopes on her! She has made soo many promises to me and all of them were not kept. All I can do now is just hope that we find someone to marry her off to. She has already hurt us enough..."
I slowly move away from my bedroom door and go back to my bed with tears in my eyes, "Oh no...No, I can't cry anymore, I just can't" Feeling hopeless, the tears just come running down....
To be continued Insh'Allah
Repentance
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- *Proud_Muslimah*
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Repentance
Last edited by *Proud_Muslimah* on Fri Nov 11, 2005 2:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- LilTrigger
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