Marriage: Somali man + Pakistani woman

[habibah000]

Salam,

I am new to this, wanted some advice about a stressful situation . Hope someone can help me, Inshallah.
Some background information - I am Pakistani, I never ever imagined to want to marry a Somali/African man. Lol, I mean, everyone has a vision of a type of person they want to marry. An african man was not on the list.

..Until I met a Somali man. He is absolutely amazing in every way. His deen to his manners, just beautiful to me. I am totally in love with him, and his charming character, mashallah.

As most of you will be aware of the racism in asian cultures. I have light skin, people often assume I am Arab or mixed...Asian people find lighter skinned people more attracting (not all, but majority do). This really disgusts me, as we are all created from Adam, we are muslim. I know that when I approach my family, they will be shocked that I chose an African man. My family are not veryy backward minded but still it will be a shock for them. And they will think that since the cultures are totally different, the marriage will not last long. Anyway, I have not spoken to them about this yet, as I am waiting for him to convince his family.

He spoke to his family and they are totally against it. They don't want to know me at all.
I feel very upset and hurt that just because I am not somali they are not accepting me. I am willing to learn Somali, infact i've already started...ii waran? waan ficanahayy (plus the somali accent lol!) I am willing to learn how to cook somali food, I want my children to learn Somali, I want to visit Somalia, I want to mix in with his family. Like, in any way, I am ready to do anything. If we have children, I know that our children will be known an Somali, islamically even...and I will be proud of that. He has mentioned this all to them already but they don't care. They don't even want to meet me.

Also, I told few of my friends, and they say things to me like, Why marry a Somali? You don't "suit" a Somali, you will look odd. Do you know your kids will be half black? Out of all ethnicities you chose to marry Somali, when you can marry arab/revert etc etc? and they make fun out of it. This upsets me, but I love him a lot. His skin colour makes no difference, I think he is soooo beautiful and has handsome features...well, I'm sure if they'd see him they'd feel jealous lol

We really want to get married,
so my question is, do you think his family will ever agree?
How stubborn are cultural Somali families? (and I thought asian families were crazy and stubborn!)
Will they ever go as far as disowning him if he was to marry me?
Will they see me or our children as outsiders?
Is there hope?

Please help a sister out,
I love Somali people, mashallah. They are really welcoming and kind.
...and Thankyou for reading and replying in advance. Shoukran.

[TheFuturist]

Salam,

I am new to this, wanted some advice about a stressful situation . Hope someone can help me, Inshallah.
Some background information - I am Pakistani, I never ever imagined to want to marry a Somali/African man. Lol, I mean, everyone has a vision of a type of person they want to marry. An african man was not on the list.

..Until I met a Somali man. He is absolutely amazing in every way. His deen to his manners, just beautiful to me. I am totally in love with him, and his charming character, mashallah.

As most of you will be aware of the racism in asian cultures. I have light skin, people often assume I am Arab or mixed...Asian people find lighter skinned people more attracting (not all, but majority do). This really disgusts me, as we are all created from Adam, we are muslim. I know that when I approach my family, they will be shocked that I chose an African man. My family are not veryy backward minded but still it will be a shock for them. And they will think that since the cultures are totally different, the marriage will not last long. Anyway, I have not spoken to them about this yet, as I am waiting for him to convince his family.

It sounds like you thought Somalis accept just anyone, but that your people can discriminate against "an African man". First of all Africa is a continent and we are Somali people, so at least have the courtesy to say our name.

Secondly, welcome to the real world, because we Somalis are highly selective too and Asian women are usually not on the list, no offence

[TheFuturist]

Good luck though

[GAMES]

In the off chance that u are not a troll, Somalis marry Ajanabis and its pretty normal thing.

You have nothing to worry about. Somalis are pretty open people about marriage.

And since you are Muslim, i don't see anyone not accepting you.

[TheLoFather]

Is he a Jareer?

Just asking since you seem to emphasise the colour issue more

[BlueBlood]

qabiilkiisa sheeg horta

[LiquidHYDROGEN]

Salam,

I am new to this, wanted some advice about a stressful situation . Hope someone can help me, Inshallah.
Some background information - I am Pakistani, I never ever imagined to want to marry a Somali/African man. Lol, I mean, everyone has a vision of a type of person they want to marry. An african man was not on the list.

..Until I met a Somali man. He is absolutely amazing in every way. His deen to his manners, just beautiful to me. I am totally in love with him, and his charming character, mashallah.

As most of you will be aware of the racism in asian cultures. I have light skin, people often assume I am Arab or mixed...Asian people find lighter skinned people more attracting (not all, but majority do). This really disgusts me, as we are all created from Adam, we are muslim. I know that when I approach my family, they will be shocked that I chose an African man. My family are not veryy backward minded but still it will be a shock for them. And they will think that since the cultures are totally different, the marriage will not last long. Anyway, I have not spoken to them about this yet, as I am waiting for him to convince his family.

He spoke to his family and they are totally against it. They don't want to know me at all.
I feel very upset and hurt that just because I am not somali they are not accepting me. I am willing to learn Somali, infact i've already started...ii waran? waan ficanahayy (plus the somali accent lol!) I am willing to learn how to cook somali food, I want my children to learn Somali, I want to visit Somalia, I want to mix in with his family. Like, in any way, I am ready to do anything. If we have children, I know that our children will be known an Somali, islamically even...and I will be proud of that. He has mentioned this all to them already but they don't care. They don't even want to meet me.

Also, I told few of my friends, and they say things to me like, Why marry a Somali? You don't "suit" a Somali, you will look odd. Do you know your kids will be half black? Out of all ethnicities you chose to marry Somali, when you can marry arab/revert etc etc? and they make fun out of it. This upsets me, but I love him a lot. His skin colour makes no difference, I think he is soooo beautiful and has handsome features...well, I'm sure if they'd see him they'd feel jealous lol

We really want to get married,
so my question is, do you think his family will ever agree?
How stubborn are cultural Somali families? (and I thought asian families were crazy and stubborn!)
Will they ever go as far as disowning him if he was to marry me?
Will they see me or our children as outsiders?
Is there hope?

Please help a sister out,
I love Somali people, mashallah. They are really welcoming and kind.
...and Thankyou for reading and replying in advance. Shoukran.

[X.Playa]

Wlc habiiba

[habibah000]

Salam,

I am new to this, wanted some advice about a stressful situation . Hope someone can help me, Inshallah.
Some background information - I am Pakistani, I never ever imagined to want to marry a Somali/African man. Lol, I mean, everyone has a vision of a type of person they want to marry. An african man was not on the list.

..Until I met a Somali man. He is absolutely amazing in every way. His deen to his manners, just beautiful to me. I am totally in love with him, and his charming character, mashallah.

As most of you will be aware of the racism in asian cultures. I have light skin, people often assume I am Arab or mixed...Asian people find lighter skinned people more attracting (not all, but majority do). This really disgusts me, as we are all created from Adam, we are muslim. I know that when I approach my family, they will be shocked that I chose an African man. My family are not veryy backward minded but still it will be a shock for them. And they will think that since the cultures are totally different, the marriage will not last long. Anyway, I have not spoken to them about this yet, as I am waiting for him to convince his family.

It sounds like you thought Somalis accept just anyone, but that your people can discriminate against "an African man". First of all Africa is a continent and we are Somali people, so at least have the courtesy to say our name.

Secondly, welcome to the real world, because we Somalis are highly selective too and Asian women are usually not on the list, no offence

huhhhh? I did not mention that a Somali would accept anyone! Woahhh
There is beauty in every culture.
What I meant is that, I had not seen/met many Somali men to say yeah they my type. Where I am from, and was brought up, I've never met a Somali person! It is only until I moved to London I did..

Highly selective?? hehe...but most cultural somali family don't allow you to select. Anyway, It is not about being selective lol..its more to do with family putting pressure on their child to marry within their culture, same tribe, same area, same bloody street!

Shoukran for the lovely message!

[habibah000]

In the off chance that u are not a troll, Somalis marry Ajanabis and its pretty normal thing.

You have nothing to worry about. Somalis are pretty open people about marriage.

And since you are Muslim, i don't see anyone not accepting you.

no wallah, I'm not trolling. lol
I don't know subhanAllah. I live in London, he was also brought up in London. It has been a year he is trying to convince them and they keep ignoring him. Thank you for your reply

[habibah000]

Is he a Jareer?

Just asking since you seem to emphasise the colour issue more

I don't know what Jareer means
but he told me he is from isaaq tribe? not sure how to spell it.

[TheFuturist]

Salam,

I am new to this, wanted some advice about a stressful situation . Hope someone can help me, Inshallah.
Some background information - I am Pakistani, I never ever imagined to want to marry a Somali/African man. Lol, I mean, everyone has a vision of a type of person they want to marry. An african man was not on the list.

..Until I met a Somali man. He is absolutely amazing in every way. His deen to his manners, just beautiful to me. I am totally in love with him, and his charming character, mashallah.

As most of you will be aware of the racism in asian cultures. I have light skin, people often assume I am Arab or mixed...Asian people find lighter skinned people more attracting (not all, but majority do). This really disgusts me, as we are all created from Adam, we are muslim. I know that when I approach my family, they will be shocked that I chose an African man. My family are not veryy backward minded but still it will be a shock for them. And they will think that since the cultures are totally different, the marriage will not last long. Anyway, I have not spoken to them about this yet, as I am waiting for him to convince his family.

It sounds like you thought Somalis accept just anyone, but that your people can discriminate against "an African man". First of all Africa is a continent and we are Somali people, so at least have the courtesy to say our name.

Secondly, welcome to the real world, because we Somalis are highly selective too and Asian women are usually not on the list, no offence

huhhhh? I did not mention that a Somali would accept anyone! Woahhh
There is beauty in every culture.
What I meant is that, I had not seen/met many Somali men to say yeah they my type. Where I am from, and was brought up, I've never met a Somali person! It is only until I moved to London I did..

Highly selective?? hehe...but most cultural somali family don't allow you to select. Anyway, It is not about being selective lol..its more to do with family putting pressure on their child to marry within their culture, same tribe, same area, same bloody street!

Shoukran for the lovely message!

[habibah000]

Salam,

I am new to this, wanted some advice about a stressful situation . Hope someone can help me, Inshallah.
Some background information - I am Pakistani, I never ever imagined to want to marry a Somali/African man. Lol, I mean, everyone has a vision of a type of person they want to marry. An african man was not on the list.

..Until I met a Somali man. He is absolutely amazing in every way. His deen to his manners, just beautiful to me. I am totally in love with him, and his charming character, mashallah.

As most of you will be aware of the racism in asian cultures. I have light skin, people often assume I am Arab or mixed...Asian people find lighter skinned people more attracting (not all, but majority do). This really disgusts me, as we are all created from Adam, we are muslim. I know that when I approach my family, they will be shocked that I chose an African man. My family are not veryy backward minded but still it will be a shock for them. And they will think that since the cultures are totally different, the marriage will not last long. Anyway, I have not spoken to them about this yet, as I am waiting for him to convince his family.

He spoke to his family and they are totally against it. They don't want to know me at all.
I feel very upset and hurt that just because I am not somali they are not accepting me. I am willing to learn Somali, infact i've already started...ii waran? waan ficanahayy (plus the somali accent lol!) I am willing to learn how to cook somali food, I want my children to learn Somali, I want to visit Somalia, I want to mix in with his family. Like, in any way, I am ready to do anything. If we have children, I know that our children will be known an Somali, islamically even...and I will be proud of that. He has mentioned this all to them already but they don't care. They don't even want to meet me.

Also, I told few of my friends, and they say things to me like, Why marry a Somali? You don't "suit" a Somali, you will look odd. Do you know your kids will be half black? Out of all ethnicities you chose to marry Somali, when you can marry arab/revert etc etc? and they make fun out of it. This upsets me, but I love him a lot. His skin colour makes no difference, I think he is soooo beautiful and has handsome features...well, I'm sure if they'd see him they'd feel jealous lol

We really want to get married,
so my question is, do you think his family will ever agree?
How stubborn are cultural Somali families? (and I thought asian families were crazy and stubborn!)
Will they ever go as far as disowning him if he was to marry me?
Will they see me or our children as outsiders?
Is there hope?

Please help a sister out,
I love Somali people, mashallah. They are really welcoming and kind.
...and Thankyou for reading and replying in advance. Shoukran.

you are extremely kind,
thank you for your reply (!)

[Sowda12]

Girl, first of all, stay in your lane. You have no room, whatsoever to talk down on anyone.
Secondly, you made it clear that his parents did not accept it. Perhaps you can try to convince them over.
Interracial relationships are just like any other, but you seem very superficial, shallow, narrow-minded and ignorant.
Good luck though. I'm wishing you all the best.

[barbarossa]

Is he a Jareer?

Just asking since you seem to emphasise the colour issue more

I don't know what Jareer means
but he told me he is from isaaq tribe? not sure how to spell it.

Not the easiest word to spell! Keep on trolling.