Who deals with rejection better?

[Inaayah]

When showing the opposite gender a love interest, only for your advances to be rejected, what gender do you think deals better with the rejection and why?

[Jugjugwacwac]

U mean lust interest. True love only exists between family members and real friends. Romantic/sexual relationships, including marriages, are lust based and not love based. The proof for this is that these relationships end when and if the attraction ends. A relationship which becomes untenable due to the absence of attraction cannot be based on what we call love. Instead it's nothing more than a powerful chemical cocktail in our brains which causes us to feel lust, which we then mispercieve as love.

I can become fat, lose my front teeth and never work another day in my life but my mom, siblings and best friend will still love me, but if I had a wife she would become an ex-wife faster than I could finish typing this lol.

To answer ur question, ppl think women take rejection worse than guys since it takes a lot them for them to approach a guy, but to be honest a lot men r very very sensitive and have fragile egos. Getting rejected can be devestating for some because a lot of a man's self worth is built on his ability to attract the opposite sex. I've seen guys go into full blown depression and become borderline suicidal over a girl. Look at the case of Cilmi Boodahri.

[MujahidAishah]

Men ofcourse

They have the balls to go up to a random female and start asking for their number and walk away like nothing has happened when it's no..

[AwRastaale]

It really depends on several factors including the mental state of the person, environment, culture, and the way the rejection maybe delivered.

Generally guys handle it better but two types of guys could be extreme.

Those that believe rejection is not for them and it is their natural right to be accepted and those who feel their manhood was insulted.

Both of these guys usually end up killing the girl.

Girls generally take it harder but with them it's more about self doubt and self question marks; What is wrong with me? Am I fat/ugly, etc. Girls invest emotions and tunnel vision some future with the person where as guys can be random.

Generally girls are less harm when it comes to dealing with rejections but that 1% of men is deadly.

Men have self-pride, manhood and ego to protect and women have self-esteem issues to overcome.

[Jugjugwacwac]

Awrastaale, good answer bro. I'm impressed.

[Inaayah]

I agree with all 3 of you in that men don't handle it as well as women. And I agree with what Mr Oromo said in that men are really prideful. So when that ego is bruised, especially if the guy is the cocky-over confident type I think it really knocks their confidence.

I think the sucidal thing for men is an exaggeration tho.

[lifeisbloodyhard]

Awrastaale, good answer bro. I'm impressed.

Both of you gave really good answers.

Cilmi Boodhari

[lifeisbloodyhard]

I agree with all 3 of you in that men don't handle it as well as women. And I agree with what Mr Oromo said in that men are really prideful. So when that ego is bruised, especially if the guy is the cocky-over confident type I think it really knocks their confidence.

I think the sucidal thing for men is an exaggeration tho.

It's not. It happens but it's rare. They might have underlying undiagnosed mh issues though. Attachment is a bitch. Some people literally feel like they can't live without the person so obviously suicide happens...

[Inaayah]

Put mental health issues to a side for a moment and let's discuss a man who's healthy, maskaxiyan and has his connection with Allah SWT.

Will he not after some time just brush his shoulders off and move on?

[lifeisbloodyhard]

Put mental health issues to a side for a moment and let's discuss a man who's healthy, maskaxiyan and has his connection with Allah SWT.

Will he not after some time just brush his shoulders off and move on?

Maybe he didn't have a connection with Allah swt?

[Jugjugwacwac]

Awrastaale, good answer bro. I'm impressed.

Both of you gave really good answers.

Cilmi Boodhari

Thanks walaal. I like reading ur responses as well, u bring a new and fresh perspective to the forum.

[AwRastaale]

Elmi Bodhari did not commit suicide nor was he or his thoughts ever suicidal.

Elmi died of natural causes but you know self-run Somali autopsy is quick to make whatever verdict to enhance the story.

At the time of Elmi love was real and men courted their potential partners like no tomorrow whether he got mad hair style, latest clothes or showered her with poetry.

It was deep and real eros. It was culturally accepted and way of life at time and place.

Even when she didn't join him in a union, Elmi showed no signs of frustration or resentment instead he showered her with more praises and elegant poetry.

An example of guys/man who had urge to get what he wanted in Somali culture was the fictional Sul-Cawro character told in children stories.

He carried or had a mate and would often put it in public space like outside his house or under a tree.

If any girl sat on it while he was absent, he had to marry her at will. No question was asked.

When they refused he used to do funny things but sorry can't recall em.

Naturally Somali society encourages people to accept rejection hence shinbirba shinbirki la duul or Waxaan calaf ahayn lama cuno.

[lifeisbloodyhard]

Elmi Bodhari did not commit suicide nor was he or his thoughts ever suicidal.

Elmi died of natural causes but you know self-run Somali autopsy is quick to make whatever verdict to enhance the story.

At the time of Elmi love was real and men courted their potential partners like no tomorrow whether he got mad hair style, latest clothes or showered her with poetry.

It was deep and real eros. It was culturally accepted and way of life at time and place.

Even when she didn't join him in a union, Elmi showed no signs of frustration or resentment instead he showered her with more praises and elegant poetry.

An example of guys/man who had urge to get what he wanted in Somali culture was the fictional Sul-Cawro character told in children stories.

He carried or had a mate and would often put it in public space like outside his house or under a tree.

If any girl sat on it while he was absent, he had to marry her at will. No question was asked.

When they refused he used to do funny things but sorry can't recall em.

Naturally Somali society encourages people to accept rejection hence shinbirba shinbirki la duul or Waxaan calaf ahayn lama cuno.

He starved himself to death. That's what I heard.

[BVSNet]

Who deals with rejection better? The one who had less invested through time, money or most importantly emotion

I reckon there are three levels of rejections:

1. You might be rejecting them as a person (you wouldn't want to be friends let alone more)
2. You might be rejecting the destination they have in mind (you might like them as a person and want to be friends but you don't want to be with them romantically)
3. You might be rejecting them because they don't fit your vision for your future (you might like them and be attracted to them but something else if off - their age, their background, the timing...something isn't right, so you say no)


On the receiving end of rejection it depends on the level of affection or attraction for the other person and the why i.e. at what level you might think they're rejecting you on.



At level 1: Moderated by self-confidence - if you are already fragile and questioning your self-worth you might be inclined to take this as confirmation. You might even react violently either towards themselves or others. However with some self-belief people would usually brush this off. This usually happens when two people don't even know each other

At level 2: The friendzone - all you have to do is make them attracted to you, downward spiral or trying to change yourself, but probably the least harmful. Though prolonged contact with the one who rejected them might move the person up to level 1 and have them question their self-worth

At level 3: The one before the one - moderated by the amount of emotion and time invested. I reckon Elmi Bodari thought it was at this level. If you think the other person wants you but there is something else that is standing in your way, you might convince yourself that you can get rid of that external foe and at long last you will be together. It is harmful because I don't think the individual realises that they're living in denial, the space in their life is left open for someone who isn't coming




I don't think there is a difference between men and women when it come to experiencing the psychological trauma of social rejection. However women are said to talk more and be more used to strong emotion so arguably you might expect at each level if you had a man and a woman feeling the exact same thing, you might expect the woman to have, through experience, learnt how to process/deal with it more than her male counterpart.

[Tuushi]

Men don't handle it better. It is generally individual based.

But men do sometimes move on faster from a rejection. But that is only because;all their life, they have been trained to "man up".

Society failed them big time.