Educated Somali men going overseas to marry

[TheMightyNomad]

A trend I’ve noticed is many educated, young Somali guys are going back to Somalia, Kenya and Arab countries to marry women there. The question is why? When there are so many beautiful, educated Somali women here in North America who are also single?

There are couple of reasons behind this trend. One of them is that Somali girls in Somalia for example are seen as “good women”, whereas the ones in the west are seen as “bad women”. It has to do with the upbringing of a lot of these guys who are going over there. Another insidious reasoning is that at the core Somali men love a woman who is submissive, and who he can feel like “the man” around. That means he’s more educated than her in a lot of cases. It’s quite said, but it seems that men love women who are less educated than them. Instead of being happy with their sisters, they choose to make them feel like they’re not “good” as women.

I was in Somalia for 7 months, and let me tell you, as much as I love my country, it’s better to be a man there than a woman. I’m not saying women are abused or anything like that, but it seems like every decision is male oriented. Men in general get better jobs, are better students, and women are prepped to be housewives only. I understand being a civil war ravaged country that is in its developmental stage, it will not be the same as first world countries when it comes to certain gender rights. The bottom line is the men who marry abroad want a submissive woman, who they can control. It’s no wonder many Somali women are marrying “reverts” these days, and I have no problem with this. Deen is the most important thing. Also, another trend I noticed many Somali women are going to Africa to marry Somali guys there. It seems the Somali guys over there happen to “love” the “bad” women from abroad (lol). I think that solves the problems we’re having. All the Somali girls who want to marry a Somali guy should maybe do what the guys have always been doing and go to Africa and find a nice guy from over there.

I’m not trying to put Somali guys down, or “hate” on them, but I’ve come to this conclusion. I don’t want to say all Somali men are this way. There are many Somali men out there who are empowering women daily, and are great brothers, fathers and sons. Also, when it comes to “women rights”, non-Muslims love to say “It’s Islam that is abusing women”, and I don’t agree with that idea, because Islam gave women all the rights they need, it’s just that people who don’t understand Islam have taken away their rights. Big difference.

https://drinkingshax.wordpress.com/2013 ... -to-marry/

This is happening more and more, where most of the educated and successful Somali men either go back home or to the middle east to find a spouse. Some even completely marry out to ajnabis and say they prefer non-Somalis over the diaspora raised. This has made a lot of Somali women in the west angry and confused.

What your thoughts on this and why this is happening.

[thehappyone]

Educated guy = introvert, antisocial, shy

That's why they go overseas, it wasn't a choice.

[Estranged]

They probably got rejected by educated, self-respecting Somali women who had no interest in marrying power hungry, controlling men. The only option left was to go back home.

The bottom line is the men who marry abroad want a submissive woman, who they can control.

[TheMightyNomad]

Educated guy = introvert, antisocial, shy

That's why they go overseas, it wasn't a choice.

So if you are an educated man you are automatically someone who lacks social skills and introverted?

Terrible deflection going on there. Most of these guys have plethora of options to choose from and they chose overseas types for a reason. They get bombarded with offers from Somali women in the west.

I have my own theory as to why vast majority of educated/successful Somali men don't marry western educated Somali women, but i will with-hold it for the time being.

[TheMightyNomad]

They probably got rejected by educated, self-respecting Somali women who had no interest in marrying power hungry, controlling men. The only option left was to go back home.

The bottom line is the men who marry abroad want a submissive woman, who they can control.

Not quite. The blog was written by a Xalimo, so it's mostly her biased female centered perspective. Nothing to do with controlling. Read the comment section and you will see many educated brothers who married from back home disagree with her.

Secondly if you really believe they don't have other options, then you must be another deluded Xalimo. You would think framing this reject-loser narrative would be hard when the question is about successful and educated men.

But i got to hand it to you guys .Soo full of yourselves ,that you think you are gods gift to earth.

[Adali]

I think this is absurd, send them my way, infact I am turning my instagram into a more Somali girl friendly one so I hope they come my way. I can't guarantee marriage but I will definitely sample all the finest specimens out there, dhamaantiin waa casuumantihiin

[Asharite]

Most Somali women are not interested in an educated man. There is no incentive for a young Somali male to ever want to become a book worm, I call it the African Americanisation of Somali males. The vast majority of Somali girls desire a man with drama, a thug, a cool dude. This same woman will berate all men and say: There are no good men. Though, they would never have considered those type of men she is now claiming doesn't exist. Women cannot make rational choices for themselves.
They would never consider a nerd, for example, unless the nerd is white (in which there is no more criteria, bit that's a topic for another day), don't expect a Somali girl to ever swing that way.

Somali men need to be educated and to get their mind out of the gutter and actually find women who appreciate them for who they are. Biggest problem is, they wish to conform to what the woman wants him to be, rather than actually finding someone who likes him for who he is. That's where everything crumbles.

[Murax]

Not so fast before We wallow in pity for the 'so miskiin' North American girls who cannot get married lets tell both sides of the story. Its a law of averages and most educated, successful guys a lot of times aren't the smoothest when it comes to talking with the ladies to say the least, probably can't make Her laugh and hot and bothered over the phone, lol. After being turned down by a few they make the choice to marry the Somali girl overseas who's a 10 and would just love the prospect of marrying a Guy who will take care of her.


Hey I support the girls having the right to be with someone who they find interesting, that being said You have to live with Your choices whether they work out or don't work out.

[Asharite]

I know of a Somali guy. Extremely educated, moderately religious, wealthy and comfortable. Yet he had no luck with any Somali woman, simply because he didn't appeal to certain trends, he wasn't cool enough. Even the ones who seemed somewhat religious preferred a guy who had somewhat of a cool thuggish type demeanour and he ended up last on the list. Dude was a hopeless case for a while. People felt sorry for him. Fast forward, he is now rich, beyond the means.

Long story short He ended up marrying a successful white woman and Somalis (mainly girls) are now saying: 'Why couldn't he find a succesful Somali girl.'.

[FarhanYare]

So accordding to Marax and thedepressedone, these educated fellas don't have game when it comes to pulling Somali women?

It just comes down to the fact that you have to climb a mount Killomanjaro for some of them and quite frankly it is tiredsome, so faarax ventures to elsewhere.

[Basra-]

I think in many Islamic Hadith it speaks about the need for a woman to respect her husband is important. And the Husband obviously to feel important. An educated Somali man going back home or to arab country and marrying uneducated women is a healthy move. It compliments the couple. The same thing with desperate lonely ugly White men going to Vietnam or Phillipin to marry desperate pleasing women. Women in third world country will treat the farah like a king. A meal ticket in essence. Its like the laws of capitalism--supply meets demand. There has to be desperateness for a complimentary union to happen. The starving Xalimo hits a jack pot--and the poor distorted handsome farah--made more handsome by his Baasaaboor and wallet more handsomer. And that is all a simple Farah needs. Of course, that never guarantees happiness. Many a marriages like that have ended in divorces. But some have been successful. But definitely the chances of success between a western somali woman and a Somali woman from abroad---I would say the one from abroad has 80% chances of success. (the other less than 20%)

[gegiroor]

The girls back home are savvy too. This businessman I know went back home and married this young, beautiful Somali girl. He brought her to Murica through sponsorship, and after she got used to this town and met some friends, she would no longer listen to his dictations. Their relationship went so bad that by the time they got divorced, she took half of his business, monthly alimony, and a child support.

So heading back home and marrying a younger woman doesn't get you out of the woods as long as you bring her to the diaspora.

Leaving her back home while you work in the diaspora is not an option for many men for reasons that we shouldn't discuss in this holy month of Ramadan.

Another catch is the so-called educated women in the diaspora are older women too. So by the time these supposedly educated women got married, the biological clock is already ticking on them.

Bottom line is find a Somali Muslim girl in wherever you live, have an iman, and insha'Allah hope for the best.

[Basra-]

The girls back home are savvy too. This businessman I know went back home and married this young, beautiful Somali girl. He brought her to Murica through sponsorship, and after she got used to this town and met some friends, she would no longer listen to his dictations. Their relationship went so bad that by the time they got divorced, she took half of his business, monthly alimony, and a child support.

So heading back home and marrying a younger woman doesn't get you out of the woods as long as you bring her to the diaspora.

Leaving her back home while you work in the diaspora is not an option for many men for reasons that we shouldn't discuss in this holy month of Ramadan.

Another catch is the so-called educated women in the diaspora are older women too. So by the time these supposedly educated women got married, the biological clock is already ticking on them.

Bottom line is find a Somali Muslim girl in wherever you live, have an iman, and insha'Allah hope for the best.

Gegi

I absolutely agree. The Western Farah should leave his wife abroad and never bring her into the west---nothing prevents the starving abroad wife from assimilating in the west after watching a few episodes of Read House wives.

I know countless bride who find their rich husband from the west disgusting, yet they give their body and have babies for them in hopes of coming to the west. Upon arriving in the west--they go for their dream man or woman in that case. Lesbianism is rampant.

[paperino]

Not so fast before We wallow in pity for the 'so miskiin' North American girls who cannot get married lets tell both sides of the story. Its a law of averages and most educated, successful guys a lot of times aren't the smoothest when it comes to talking with the ladies to say the least, probably can't make Her laugh and hot and bothered over the phone, lol. After being turned down by a few they make the choice to marry the Somali girl overseas who's a 10 and would just love the prospect of marrying a Guy who will take care of her.


Hey I support the girls having the right to be with someone who they find interesting, that being said You have to live with Your choices whether they work out or don't work out.

If I'm not mistaken, I think Ismahaan is one of those educated North American girls. I wonder if she got married.

[AbdiWahab252]

i know a lot of well off and highly educated Faraxs. The marriage challenge is that the Xalimo's are confused about their role. They want to be Western (sharing chores and family duties) or Traditional when it suits them (paying bills- it's a Faraxs job though she earns the same or more than him, wants the dahab set, large meher, expensive aroos). Its a parasitic relationship with no major upside. I'd rather go Ajnabi with Amber who is western but not Asha who has a schizophrenic cultural identity.


Murax have you gone to those Muslim singles events?