Somali Fathers, Men and Brainwashed Mothers

[thelionwithfire]

It seems from birth somali men are raised to believe superiority over their sisters and female counterparts.
To never get checked, these men openly state irrational expectations for a spouse: She needs to cook, clean (after me), raise the kids etc
But when a female says anything within her rights, his financial situation,in reason she gets the "why doens't my deen matter more?"
The man asks for everything BUT deen, and when she adds one requirement that men are REQUIRED to provide she's made to be materialisitic.

Some (most i'd rather say) are absent from their childs life. Stingy, not buying food but buy plenty for themselves. Don't take them out and if they do its targeted at THEIR interests, and they're out late most of the time. Of course. No one checks this. Imagine. One half of a population allowed to run loose where the other are pressed and told to accept the pressing from their future spouse. Hmm...

We me are great but why do we not correct our parents in their irrational thinking? Our mothers brainwashed to think men are "KINGS", an implanted beleif brought on by the whippings of their mother and thier mother and their mother till we reach the male oppressor.
Why don't we call out the quite HARAM inequality our sisters face. We can go out late but when our sisters are even out past their curfew they get beat?! the heck is this.

It angers me wallah. Hearing a man scream to his wife "Nay *insert name*, where's my food" in the morning.
Allah didn't make women to be a man's handy man. A pretty cleaner, cook, baby making, sh*t taking, object. Their human.
I think we should step it up. I can't imagine telling a woman to do it all because i "work" when work only means a 9-5 and not a 2day long herding journey like it used to. To raise the kids when there's no neighbors, friends or community to help. Our women will go insane.
Then we turn around and wonder why that pretty girl we once knew is looking shabby. Hell,she looking shabby cause you're sh**ting all over the place.

Inshallah we change in time. What you men and women think?? Can we somali men help correct the pass generation and changer the future ones? Can we, as men, stand up for our sisters and mothers when they are being wronged? One half our worlds life is trash because they're forced to put up with our every demand without question, and if they do, they get the whip....
Why are we men so twisted. Allah didn't make us kings. He made us humans with HUMAN mates. They weren't made "for" men alone. Men were made for women in allahs plan as well. The order just puts in perspective the gravity of our relation. What a women should mean to us.
Had it been the other way round men would be hollering "Allah made us after women to fix the flaws!"
Astugfirallah

[DaacasBiyo]

No offense but you seem like one of those hateful feminist and from the look of it I can assume you've read the recent Damon Young article titled Straight Black Men Are the White People of Black People and you're giving us the same bullshit under the guise of countering LoDoon's playful comment which was in no way disparaging to his wife or women in general. You have to understand current events before you read articles online because the person writes them in the current events context and if the writer is Black and is one of those gaylivesmatter supporter like this guy or writes for one of those White owned online magazines like Ebony or Essence, you need to really be careful before you believe what those people tell you.
These online magazines pump anti-Black men articles when they want to divert the attention away from White supremacy or white men and many ignorant men or women in the community will cosign those fuckeries unless they are woke.
So, I can't cosign your article here because you are being manipulated and also you are being dishonest because you have left out how your religion plays a major role in the bad treatment and abuse of women, so instead of addressing that too you are blaming Somali men for all the ill because the article brainwashed you, that's how powerful those online White supremacist articles are and I've noticed many people in here really believe them.

Again, be careful what you read out there because White supremacist are very good at deception and will convince you of anything.

[thelionwithfire]

So, I can't cosign your article here because you are being manipulated and also you are being dishonest because you have left out how your religion plays a major role in the bad treatment and abuse of women, so instead of addressing that too you are blaming Somali men for all the ill because the article brainwashed you, that's how powerful those online White supremacist articles are and I've noticed many people in here really believe them.

Again, be careful what you read out there because White supremacist are very good at deception and will convince you of anything.
[/quote]

Where did i say i am blaming somali men, a religion or basing this off an article??? I dont read current events nor feed into "femenist" movments as they are very anti-man most of the time.
I clearly stated i am not bashing somali men but am pointing out a problem within the community of absent fathers and women who follow through in the cultural *not religious* roles place on their shoulders from birth. I am a man and wouldn't find it offensive for someone to tell me I'm wrong. Maybe my thoughts came out differently through text??
However there seems to be a bias in you opinion as i've found numerous articles on somali women and their "flaws" and very few on men.
Perhaps your assumed I as a fellow somali was being hateful by mentioning a flaw in our community, the sexism and oppression of woman? It'll make for interesting discussion between us guys to really get to the root of this issue.
Again, never heard of that article you mentioned or where you're getting your ideas from. I'm somali, live in a somali house and have visited neighbors and family and see a consistent pattern of the wife/mother doing it all and man staying out late at the tea shop with friends.
Religion?? Isnt this snet. Presumably most people on here would be somali muslims and would know this topic isn't religious related at all BUT can be fixed through the required EQUALITY allah placed on all humans, male and female. I'm muslim hence the frustration with this one cultural oddity.

I'm really surprised...maybe you got the wrong board to reply too because your shpeel was way off point. Nothing wrong with a man telling others in his community to make a change. I'm disappointed in you guys. I expected better.

[Prlnce]

All men under the sun Jews, Muslims, Christians and Atheist all want a woman that can cook, clean take care of his child. How is that unique to Somali fathers?

Just because YOUR father was absent and YOUR father abused YOUR submissive mother and YOUR father didn't take care of his responsibility. Doesn't meant it's a Somali problem. You are only responsible for your action.

Somalis are not special they are just like every other community. We got the good, the bad and the ugly within our community

[thelionwithfire]

All men under the sun Jews, Muslims, Christians and Atheist all want a woman that can cook, clean take care of his child. How is that unique to Somali fathers?

Just because YOUR father was absent and YOUR father abused YOUR submissive mother and YOUR father didn't take care of his responsibility. Doesn't meant it's a Somali problem. You are only responsible for your action.

ITS a CULTURAL issue not RELIGOUS although men will manipulate religion for their selfish gain. Alhumdulliah my mother was never submissive and my family beautifully muslim in the RIGHT way.

Somalis are not special they are just like every other community. We got the good, the bad and the ugly within our community

No sh*t sherlock thats obvious. Point is it DOES exist, so are we to not care becaue OTHERS do it to?? What mentlality is that.

I thought this board go closed by the monitor but i guess not. What's with this cosigning bit though? Kindof new here so i'm a bit lost.

[Prlnce]

All men under the sun Jews, Muslims, Christians and Atheist all want a woman that can cook, clean take care of his child. How is that unique to Somali fathers?

Just because YOUR father was absent and YOUR father abused YOUR submissive mother and YOUR father didn't take care of his responsibility. Doesn't meant it's a Somali problem. You are only responsible for your action.

ITS a CULTURAL issue not RELIGOUS although men will manipulate religion for their selfish gain. Alhumdulliah my mother was never submissive and my family beautifully muslim in the RIGHT way.


It's amazing people that push this false narrative have good fathers and mothers but it's everyone else is dysfunctional.

Somalis are not special they are just like every other community. We got the good, the bad and the ugly within our community

No sh*t sherlock thats obvious. Point is it DOES exist, so are we to not care becaue OTHERS do it to?? What mentlality is that.

It's not epidemic or an issue unique to Somalis and since you just conceded the point. Now we can have an actual conversation. It's an open forum and you can speak on any topic you like did I say you shouldn't talk about it? NO...just pointing out this false narrative and anti-Somali anti-muslim trend by self-loathing members.

I thought this board go closed by the monitor but i guess not. What's with this cosigning bit though? Kindof new here so i'm a bit lost.

Cosigning? Ohh did you expect an echo-chamber and members to support a false premise?

[thelionwithfire]

Wow.....so i just point out the issue we somalis have in our community and in turn i'm labeled, anti-muslim, anti-somali, self-loathing, and made out to seem irrational?
No wonder we can't change at large. Somali men are too sensitive. The nabi (saw) must have had an even harder time with the men at that time. Being labeled crazy because he was spreading a message of change.
I thank allah i've been raised in a beautiful family and will make dua inshallah for the this generation, the past and the ones to come to change and better the somali people and name, both academically and in tradition.

[Prlnce]

How interesting that you want to label Somali men as abusive and irresponsible and Somali women as weak and brainwashed. But take offense to someone labeling you...

How are we going to change a problem if you can't own up to it. Why is it that people that want to push this false narrative have a perfect mother and father like yourself... but every other Somali's father is abusive and backwards and the mother's are brainwashed and weak?

I also thank Allah I was raised by a Somali community that is foreign from the one you described. May Allah give us the strength to fight the enemy within and outside our community.

Ameen

[thelionwithfire]

Its the people like you who prevent change by acting like problems don't exist.
Think a little harder and you'll probably see what i'm getting at. Weak? our women aren't at all. Abused? physically no but mentally yes.
How many of our men have babies than drop all their responsibility than wed another wife because it's "halal".

Seems like snet isn't the place to criticize the somali man, ya'll are so sensitive. Prehaps because you've raised in a ball from birth? We are kings right? Who can dare question us and tell us wrong?

Re-read my post again and take a hint.