SomaliNet Forums

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 4:49 am**

Salaam snetters.......I'm heading to Somalia later this year ,inshallah, after a long absence and I'm very excited.
However, there is an issue that's causing me a little anxiety and it revolves around gift/presenting giving.

Before you start slagging me off for being such a scrooge hear me out first.

Every society on Earth loves receiving gifts, none more so than Somalis, but the amount of folks expecting can be overwhelming.

As soon as news of your arrival spreads hordes of relatives, close and not so close, turn up expecting the skinny version of Santa.

In the past I've always gone via Dubai to have a little holiday before arriving in Somalia and to buy gifts in bulk.

I would by around 20 cheap macawiis, shirts, shawls hats, perfumes and creams and dole them out to mainly uncles and close relatives. I would also splash around $100 to others to buy khaat.

Fast forward to 2019 and around 30 kids have become adults and these mfs are requesting tablets, i phones, laptops....one asked for university level textbooks at £80+ a pop.....the days of happily receiving a shirt and a bunch of khaat is gone.

My question to you fam is how do you negotiate this sensitive issue......PS badiye folks are usually very humble and happy to get anything.

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 5:44 am**

Wadankiina waxaas ayaan ku nacay. Waxay ku haystaan taajir kala cadaadey. Albaabadada xidho oo cidna ha oo bixin. Xita hadaad wax siisid cay ba kugu darayan.Marka anigo waxaan kugula talin lahaa waalidka uun wax si.

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 5:49 am**

Never buy gifts, especially if you know the person will not like/enjoy it. Instead buy experiences, take the kids out to eat, arrange a family meal, a mawlid, something where everyone is coming together.

For books buy second hand. You can also teach them to use libgen/BiB and get them a cheap reader tablet.

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 6:23 am**

Buy few gifts and books.

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 6:29 am**

Unfortunately,once you start it will never stop.Never gave people anything unless it was elders.Like Ben Dover said,i take the kids to the park etc,buy lunch and make an experience for them.

People are ungrateful bunch,they will move on once you set the boundaries.It used to stress me out until i just stopped cold turkey.

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 8:09 am**

If u have the spare cash like for instance, a grand divide it across 20 people. Each gets $50. If you plan on visiting the whole extended family that will be difficult.

Me personally, i wouldn't publicize my arrival and if i think i need a family member, i would get my cousin to show me around xamar but will make him swear to keep my presence in Xamar strictly confidential. I just don't have disposal income stashed somewhere to help everyone out.

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 8:23 am**

Dadka wadankii jooga waa laba nooc kuwa taajirin ah iyo kuwa masaakiin ah kuwa masaakiinta ah ee qaraabada ah $100-200 sii abaal bay ku qaban.
reerka kuwa taajiriinta ah hooyada reerka u iibi perfume fiican kolay way ku casuumayan gurigoda ama restaurant qaali ah markaa perfume fiican gift ugu laab waanay isku dhamaatay.
Caruurta iPhone ka dooneysa kibir baa ka batay

hala sheekaysan.

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 8:27 am**

salool wrote: Wed Jun 19, 2019 5:44 am Wadankiina waxaas ayaan ku nacay. Waxay ku haystaan taajir kala cadaadey. Albaabadada xidho oo cidna ha oo bixin. Xita hadaad wax siisid cay ba kugu darayan.Marka anigo waxaan kugula talin lahaa waalidka uun wax si.

gabadh baa igu tidhi beri habeen madaw ayaan magaalada galay oo aabahay soo arkay aroortii hore intii aan laysu toosin ayaan ka soo baxay magaaladii.

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:36 am**

I stay in a hotel and don’t announce my arrival except to my cousin who gets me through the VIP section. I lay low and enjoy my time with the relative portion being done on my last two days. If they ask, I have $400 in $10bills.

Th only stuff I bring for my relatives are medicines.

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 12:27 pm**

original dervish wrote: Wed Jun 19, 2019 4:49 am Salaam snetters.......I'm heading to Somalia later this year ,inshallah, after a long absence and I'm very excited.
However, there is an issue that's causing me a little anxiety and it revolves around gift/presenting giving.

Before you start slagging me off for being such a scrooge hear me out first.

Every society on Earth loves receiving gifts, none more so than Somalis, but the amount of folks expecting can be overwhelming.

As soon as news of your arrival spreads hordes of relatives, close and not so close, turn up expecting the skinny version of Santa.

In the past I've always gone via Dubai to have a little holiday before arriving in Somalia and to buy gifts in bulk.

I would by around 20 cheap macawiis, shirts, shawls hats, perfumes and creams and dole them out to mainly uncles and close relatives. I would also splash around $100 to others to buy khaat.

Fast forward to 2019 and around 30 kids have become adults and these mfs are requesting tablets, i phones, laptops....one asked for university level textbooks at £80+ a pop.....the days of happily receiving a shirt and a bunch of khaat is gone.

My question to you fam is how do you negotiate this sensitive issue......PS badiye folks are usually very humble and happy to get anything.

NEVER give anyone anything that is is not a necessity e.g. medicines etc... You might think that you doing them favours by gifting gifts of luxury goods but you are only contributing to one of the many problems that inflicts the folks in the Horn which is the over reliance and dependency on others.
If you must and can not avoid giving such goods make sure that they had earned them, have achieved something which you perceive as noble and useful.

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 12:49 pm**

I have previous experience on this same matter. However you give them gifts they still want cash. My advice, keep lot cash dollar with you specially from $5 to $100 and in between, and give them accordingly. No gifts, case closed.

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 3:12 pm**

Thanks fam......some good all round advice .

Seems my original plan wasn't far off the mark.
Some clothing, perfumes, creams etc and a little cash.
Definitely slaughter some sheep before I go.

There is some unfinished business though.
The last time I was in LA my 1st cuz came to visit.....all I had was mens clothing so I gave her some cash.....the look of disappointment on her face has stayed with me for years......I will definitely buy her the latest abaya and a selection of perfumes.

I always hold at least 50% back for the badiye folks.

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 3:12 pm**

Inshallah!

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 5:52 pm**

Ever thought of taking a suitcase full of your ‘used’ clothes and giving away to distant cousins. I did few times.

I gave away pants and shirts made by Oscar de la Renta and others that cost me more than I can say, for free to tolki. I gave away money too, but gave $20 to male relatives (usually they burn with khat), and $50 and more to female relatives, knowing women are more concerned about welfare of children and household matters.

Posted: **Wed Jun 19, 2019 7:06 pm**

All our good second hand clothing is normally washed, pressed and given to Somali charity collectors.

I'd rather give cheap brand new than designer second hand......just doesn't sit well with me.

I've been told that if you don't chew khaat the folks normally leave you alone.....otherwise they'd be at your spot every night looking to munch away.

I'm planning on starting a micro farm so the majority of the time I'll be in my 5 meter bell tent in the badiye.

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