QABIIL VIRUS EPIDEMIC

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Qabiil Virus Epidemic


ASDS or Acquired Sanity Deficiency Syndrome is defined as a collection of symptoms and infections resulting from the depletion of the sanity system caused by Qabiil virus infection.

The symptoms of ASDS are primarily the result of conditions that do not normally develop in individuals with healthy sanity systems. Most of these conditions are opportunistic infections that can be easily treated in healthy people. Research has found out that there is no definite cure for the syndrome.

Once the person has been exposed to the Qabiil Virus, the only medication is to prevent the spread of the virus. Since there is no cure, researchers are searching for the part of the brain that contains Qabiil and Qabiil-related information. That part will be cut off and hopefully the patient will wake up without carrying the qabiil virus. We shall test this after a prescription of two week's rest and then expose him to people from his supposed rival clans. He will be asked to hug them. If he does so, the operation will be a success. If additional funds are available, a relocation prgram of Somalis to villages in supposed rival clanlands will be planned and implemented.

In the meanwhile, treating these patients is very much possible. Therapy sessions to halt the spread of the qabiil virus and even reduce it are taken into the program by the most renowned psychiatrists in the world. Since there is no Somali government, we ask the United Nations to finance these expensive therapy sessions for the impoverished Somalis.


Also an online basic therapy session has been released for free which I gladly like to present to potential patients in Somalia Online:

STEP 1: Ask yourself what Qabiil has done for you personally?

- Has it enhanced your career?
- Has it improved your sex life?


STEP 2: Think of a relative, friend or acquintance from a supposed rival qabiil and think about the good memories you share with them?


Step 3: Ask yourself why you hate this qabiil and that qabiil? On what grounds?

- Did a member of this qabiil reject your marriage proposal?
- Did a member of this qabiil rough you up one fateful night in front of your friends?
- Did member(s) of this qabiil misbehave badly when sharing Bariis & Baasto on the same plate one night.


STEP 4: Praise your supposed rival qabiil. (Only to take this step after successfully completing previous steps!)


STEP 5: Meeting people of supposed rival qabiils.


After these 5 steps, your qabiil virus should have been reduced to a certain level. If not, you are eligible to take the intesified course from a psychiatrist.