The art of wife selection in ISLAM

[The_Don_of_djibouti]

There are eight qualities which should make life happy and which must be sought in a woman in order to assure the continuity and happiness of the marriage:

PIETY (deen), GOOD CHARACTER, BEAUTY, A SMALL DOWRY(meher), ABILITY TO BEAR CHILDREN, VIRGINITY, (GOOD) LINEAGE AND SHE SHOULD NOT BE A CLOSE RELATIVE.

I will elaborate couple of this qualities that a man should seek in any prospective wife.


PIETY:
Piety or good deen is the most fundamental requisite for any prospective wife.
If her religious principles are too weak to give her the strength to be virtuous and constant. She will humiliate her husband, disgrace him among people, trouble his heart with jealousy, and hence render his life miserable.
Is that ring a bell to some people in our society.
Have you seen some friends chewing khat away every day just not to face that witch at home.

The worst thing is:
If she is beautiful but corrupt, she will be the cause of greater tribulation; for then it becomes difficult for the husband to separate (divorce) from her: Thus he is neither able to renounce her neither to endure her humiliation.

That was a hadith from the prophet:
“He who marries a woman for her possessions and beauty loses both her beauty and her possessions; [but] he who marries her for the sake of her faith will be blessed by God with her possessions and her beauty.”

GOOD CHARACTER:
Good character is the second quality.
It is an important requirement for ease of heart and in making a favourable surrounding for religion. For if she is vicious, ill-tongued, ill-mannered, and ungrateful, more harm than good will come from her.

I got this passage from Islamic tradition:
It is related that the Azdi traveler,” during his journey, met Elias [the prophet] who ordered him to get married and discouraged him from celibacy.
He then said, “Don't marry any of the following four types: a mukhlali'ah [divorce-minded], a mubariyah [boaster], an 'ahirah [harlot], or a nashiz [conceited].”

Al-mukhlali'ah is one who asks for the divorce every hour for no reason

al-mubariyah is one who boasts of the superiority of another and is proud of her worldly advantages.
and al'ahirah is a loose woman who is known to have lovers and who is being a couple of times around the block. To her the Almighty referred when He said, “nor of loose conduct” [Qur’an 4:25].
Al-nashiz is one who adopts a haughty attitude toward her husband in deed and word: the word nashaz designates that which is elevated above the ground.

Ali the 4th Khaliif used to say, “The worst characteristics of men constitute the best characteristics of women; namely, stinginess, pride, and cowardice. For if the woman is stingy, she will preserve her own and her husband's possessions; if she is proud, she will refrain from addressing loose and improper words to everyone; and if she is cowardly, she will dread everything and will therefore not go out of her house and will avoid compromising situations for fear of her husband. These accounts indicate the sum total of the good qualities sought in marriage.

Now dear farah and friends you have been warned and got to marry at young age however should be careful in your brides…..


Kind regards
Me or the don_of_djibouti

[muslim-man]

Jazaka'llah kheyran don of djibouti.

How about the women seeking men to marry??? do they need to look for the above charescharestics from a man or is there a different criteria for them to follow?

[The_Don_of_djibouti]

It is incumbent upon the father or the guardian also to examine the qualities of the husband and to look after his daughter so as not to give her in marriage to an ugly farah , ill-mannered, weak in faith, negligent in upholding her rights, or unequal to her in descent or sex.

The Prophet pbuh has said, “Marriage is enslavement; let one, therefore, be careful in whose hands he places his daughter.”“
Exercising caution on her behalf is important, because she becomes a slave by the marriage and cannot be freed from it, while the husband is able to obtain divorce at all times. Whoever gives his daughter in marriage to a person who is unjust, licentious, heretical, or an inebriate commits a crime against his religion and exposes himself to the wrath of God for having severed his parental tie by having made a bad choice.

A man said to al-Hasan “A number of suitors have asked for my daughter's hand in marriage; to whom should I give her?” He replied, “To the one who fears God; because if he loves her, he will be kind to her; and if he hates her, he will not wrong her.”

The Prophet pbuh said, “Whoever gives his daughter in marriage to a licentious man has betrayed her womb.”


Kind regards
Me or the_don_of_djibouti

[muslim-man]

Thanks bro, may Allah bless your work with janah.

[The_Don_of_djibouti]

Waryaah muslim man noo soo duucey wallaaal inuu ilahay ee haanoniyooh...

May Allah bless you as well borther muslim man

[Basra-]

it is an art indeed!

[LionHeart-112]

Wife selection is art?

I always thought it was Science because:

You and her must have good CHEMISTRY.
She must have amazing ANATOMY and GRAVITYdefying Boob, not to mention ASTRONOMICAL behind. And finally she must have great GENES and her BIOLOGICAL clock must NOT be ticking.

[The_Don_of_djibouti]

Indeed lion heart islam loves anything that is beautiful.

I will statisfy you soon how the beauty count much as well in islam but there is catch with that booty or shall i say beauty

[LionHeart-112]

loool..Great, i'm waiting.

[The_Don_of_djibouti]

Lion hearth i am not that quick (unlike basra) to scramble a lenghty piece of writing about booty in islam.

however give me until tomorrow and i will satisfy you how the booty bounce and rhyme in Islam

[LionHeart-112]

no problem..take your time akhii.

[Sir-Luggoyo]

[quote="LionHeart-112"]

no problem..take your time akhii.

[/quote]

@ akhii

Is this when you put on your turban

[LionHeart-112]

I reserve that word for people that deserve it. The Don, Cool-man, Viking, Huseyn and few others deserve it. The rest get the soamli version "aboowe"

[The_Don_of_djibouti]

Beauty or booty:

Beauty of face, is desired because through it, fortification sustainable love is attained.

For an average farah isn’t generally contented or happy with an ugly woman or fat woman. What generally the sheeks have transmitted is encouragement to look for a pious woman and not marry one for her beauty.
They do not discourage the cherishing of beauty, but rather discourages marrying a woman for her beauty alone.

Beauty, booty and good lumps , per se, often makes marriage desirable and indicative of the regard given to beauty is the fact that closeness and love are often realized through it.

A Somali farah should see the woman (not naked) but without her veil before taking one for marriage.
I have heard as well you might send a close woman relative to see for you the girls in her best thong however it is obvious that looking does not reveal character, religion, or wealth; rather, it distinguishes beauty from ugliness.

This imply to men as well waryaadaah.
This is an anecdote back in the khalifaah time:

It was related that during the time of khalifah Umar a man got married. The man had colored his hair and the dyestuff had faded. The woman's family complained to 'Umar saying, “We thought he was a young man.” 'Umar beat him excessively and
said, “You have deceived the people.”

So woman would not be contented with tales of how powerful you are and how you used to own half of mogadisho?
Either how rich you are while you are signing up at your local jobcentre.


It has been said that if a woman is beautiful, of good character, with black eyes and hair, large eyes, fair complexion, loves her husband, and has an eye to no other man, she is in the image of the houris.
Taaso kaalee Somalidaah way kuu yaar tahay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Prophet said, “The best of your women is one who pleases her husband when he looks at her, who obeys him when he commands her, and guards his memory and his possessions when he is absent.”

[kambuli]

Don of Djbouti,

Two questions for you;

1. What are the qualities which should make life happy and which must be sought in men in order to assure the continuity and happiness of the marriage:?

2. Is it required in our religion that a women should be stingy. I hate stingy & extravagant people equally. I can't imagine being stingy