My parents won' t let me marry the man I love.

[BleSsinG]

AS WR WB walaalayal,
Recently I have met the man of my dreams and I have told my parents that he wanted to marry me. He is a responsible man with a good heart but my parents refused his request on grounds of his tribal lineage. He is midgaan. I have always thought of my parents that they never cared about tribes because we are all the same and somali. Tribes were never discussed at out home and yet they refused me to marry the man I want to be with. I understand that the midgaan people are thought of highly in our culture I hate to see my parents committing this sinful deed of refusing a religious man to marry one of there daughters on baseless grounds such has tribes.
How should I convince them that they are wrong in jugding someone because of tribes.

[Aristocrat-1]

Blessing,

my advice to u is always listen to ur parents, thier blessing is essential to a good life.


Furthermore, think about the children that u will have with this man, i mean the same thing would hapen to them when they want to get married.

r u really gonna let ur children suffer......it is best not to make a martyr out of ones self, life is just too shor.


so i say just listen to ur parents, and do not go against thier wihes.

p.s. i do feel for u but sometimes we have to make difficult choices.

[suga_n_spice]

BALOO

wacalaykuma salam sis

i just wanted to tell u that it's not good to do something without the blessing of ur parents. it's important that u take ur parents concerns into consideration. the best thing to do is to go to a local sheikh and tell him about the situation and then see what he says.

[Gacalisa]

listen to your parents, because without their consent your marriage will not succeed, with out thier consent you would start your marriage with a sin. marriages are very important in both islam and our culture, and especially islam, and god doest like divorces, so think hard before making decisions. but always listen to ur parents.

[Aristocrat-1]

sugar and spice the sheik will only tell her waht we know, that islamically she can marry any muslim man.

But i say although ur parents have for the wrong reasons gone against this proposed marriage-----u must still obey them, and u will get reward for it either in this life or on the next.

[suga_n_spice]

BALOO

aristocrat saxiib ur right, but the sheikh will be a better influence on the sister's decision better then me and u on somalinet. he will surely be more educated towards the issue and most certainly try to create peace within the family. i mean she could ask the skeikh to have a sit down with her parents and tell them the importance of a good islamic marriage and see things beyond qabiil!!! see what i'm sayin??

[BleSsinG]

AS WR WB
Thank you for your replies brothers and sisters. My plan is not go against their wishes or disobey and disrespect them. All I want to do is let them know that what they are doing is wrong and unislamic. It' s not a sin to correct who is wrong and i love them dearly that' s why they have to know that it' s no reason to refuse his request.

[BLUE RUSH]

[quote="Aristocrat-1"]

Furthermore, think about the children that u will have with this man, i mean the same thing would hapen to them when they want to get married.

.[/quote]

Why let an unborn child suffer I mean not everyone marrys for love

Am basically a critic when it comes the l word I personally only marry a man that is my tribe if not from a totally different ethnic background
I don’t thin my mom married for love more likely a easy escape diversion
We can’t all be blessed with love

But the real me the the soppy one says do what u can to claim ur man girly
If u found love don’t let it go
You must be lucky in love girly

[BLUE RUSH]

[quote="Aristocrat-1"]

Furthermore, think about the children that u will have with this man, i mean the same thing would hapen to them when they want to get married.

.[/quote]

Why let an unborn child suffer I mean not everyone marrys for love

Am basically a critic when it comes the l word I personally only marry a man that is my tribe if not from a totally different ethnic background
I don’t thin my mom married for love more likely a easy escape diversion
We can’t all be blessed with love

But the real me the the soppy one says do what u can to claim ur man girly
If u found love don’t let it go
You must be lucky in love girly

[Aristocrat-1]

sugra and spice ---i get what u are saying, that makes much more sense, cos if the sheik speaks to them maybe they will see sense!


Blue Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusssssshhhhh,

u never have to suffer cos i love u and u love me, and we are from the same sub-clan!

[Kamal35]

If the man is a good man, and if your parents are only biased just because he's from another clan. If your parents refuse to meet him personally and don't want to know him as a person, but as someone belonging to a different qabil, and if your parents don't respect your love for him, maybe they're not good parents and you should tell them that. Good parents are those ones who would die for the happiness of their children. Obviously, they don't seem to fight for your happiness in order of some stupid prejudices that even have nothing to do with islam itself, just Somali traditions. If I were on your shoes, I would talk to them again. When you know that you're in the right path, nobody has the right to take you out of this path. It's your life. Nobody except you yourself will live your own life.

One completly different thing is that your parents have met him, know him personally and they have seen something that could be wrong or bad for your future. In that case, they would be acting as good parents.

But you have to fight for your love and your happiness.

It's your life, not anybody's else.

You have to speak to them in a nice and respectful way, but to keep strong in your beliefs when you speak with them. Otherwise, you will lose your man.

[BLUE RUSH]

[quote="Aristocrat-1"]

Blue Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusssssshhhhh,

u never have to suffer cos i love u and u love me, and we are from the same sub-clan! [/quote]



I know walaalo I don’t have to worry
but if I can’t find another man or u get bored of me I have to find an adoon man ok

[Aristocrat-1]

Blue that's a deal

[Basra-]

Go....Kill yourself--- at least they will say...."Aaah she loved him'!!!!

[Gacalisa]

actually according to the religion your parents have the right to tell you any thing and we are obligated to respect it. it may be wrong, and for forcing you they will get their dambi, but it would be dambi for you if you do not obey.

every one has a role, and we all must adhere to it. your parents have the role of being good and kind, and if they dont follow they will face the punishment

and our role it to respect them and obey or we will face the punishment.

peace, salaamu claykum