Homer Simpson Kidnapped By Cartoon Protesters !!!!!

[Daanyeer]

Source: http://www.bsnews.org/articles/117



...... "Our thoughts are clearly with the Simpson family, and the entire town of Springfield. He's an extremely funny cartoon character, and frankly, we’re not going to sit idly by and watch them slowly cut his head off. We cannot, we will not, let that happen,"

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan – D’oh! 20th Century Fox says one of its most beloved cartoon characters has been kidnapped by violent cartoon protesters.

Lifelong Springfield resident and cartoon icon Homer Simpson was seized by a band of unidentified gunmen Thursday morning, the company’s spokeswoman Joyce Dearborn told BSNews.

“Unfortunately, Homer was ambushed while shooting on location in Pakistan,” said Dearborn. “‘It’s a shame, the episode they were filming promised to be a satirical tour de force skewering those ‘Muhammad’ cartoons and the protests.”

Pakistani police officials confirmed Thursday that unidentified gunmen kidnapped Simpson, a nuclear power plant worker, after killing his neighbor and co-actor, Ned Flanders, while shooting on location in Islamabad.

They said the cameraman filming the comic duo managed to escape the incident when he fled and sought the help of a police patrol that happened to be in the same area at the time.

Al Jazeera, the Arabic-language TV network, aired a video of the hostage Simpson today, who was shown sitting in a room, blindfolded, with an M-4 aimed at his head. He was talking and appeared anxious.

“OOOHHH! Help! Please get me out of here! I’m sooo hungry!” pleaded Simpson. “I haven’t had a beer all day…and these guys all smell like Apu!”

The video showed close-ups of Simpson’s identification cards. The footage showed a nuclear power plant identification card, a Fox employee identification card, and an expired driver’s license in his name.

The anchor said the video was accompanied by a claim of responsibility from an unnamed, armed Pakistani militant group, but he said the group did not issue any demands.

The Muslim world suddenly erupted in violent protests two weeks ago following the publication of cartoons in a Danish newspaper 8 months ago.

U.S. Help


WASHINGTON - Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld said news of the kidnapping was "a very disturbing development."

"Our thoughts are clearly with the Simpson family, and the entire town of Springfield. He's an extremely funny cartoon character, and frankly, we’re not going to sit idly by and watch them slowly cut his head off. We cannot, we will not, let that happen," he told reporters.

"And for that reason, I have personally authorized the deployment of Captain America and Spiderman to Pakistan."

A senior State Department official said the agency enlisted the help of the comic book superheroes when they learned that Simpson had been kidnapped, and that they would aid their investigation into the kidnapping with resources, assets and information.

“Captain America fought in WWII,” beamed Rumsfeld, standing next to the two superheroes. “And Spiderman is badass. If anyone can save Homer, it’s these two.”

Captain America gave a thumbs up and promised success in the mission. However, in comments made after the press conference, Spiderman expressed some doubts.

“Shit, I’m not going to dumb-ass Pakistan. I don’t know about Captain America, but I’m just a friggin’ actor in a cheap spandex suit,” said Spiderman. “I work on Hollywood Boulevard. Anyway, what the hell are these idiots talking about anyway with this Homer Simpson bullshit? Jesus! Get a life! It’s not real! It’s just a cartoon!”

Unpatriotic skepticism aside, the superhero duo faces a tough task ahead in rescuing Homer Simpson, whose whereabouts are still unbelievably unknown.




BSNews Organization