Isnt ironic...........

[lookz]

I've contemplated this few times to myself to reason why somalian brotha's say their not intimadated by a female but when in fact they are and yet have the courage to admit it?

Secondly this goes out to the brotha's-- do you expect a female to change after you get married?--let me specify change; as in if she was wearing jeans when you met her and now that you married you want her to wear skirts only; her hair being covered but when in fact it wasnt when you first met her and deciced to propose?
I cant seem to understand walaahi. I had a guy friend which i litearlly blew up on just the other day just because he had his views of "females being respectable and what not"...he goes into details as to he wants a girl that is confident, relgion and culture orientted? so tell me what that has to do with wearing a skirt?...Yes it did be approapiate but he she doesnt does that totally make her something she isnt.?

So then if that is the case; take me for instance, ( just for the record, i care less what opioions you already generated from)...but getting back to what i was saying...i'm very cultural and relgioious orientated, care my self with pride and dignity knowing my roots and as well as have the menatlity of a western>? So what in fact makes me in diff from what he said?...i' mean he is not your regular shiek himselve but yet he demands his wife to have that plus more?...make sense to you ?...how i see it is simply if you're not all that you want in the other, dont bother to bring it up.---oh what i fail to say earlier was the fact that he wants a girl to wear a skirt simply because she doesnt come off as a "distrubted" not for relgious reason or any sort cuz if had he brought that up, i did have nothing to argue but just fact that he failed to say that; it extremely got me pist.---

---====-so i guess after all what am asking you is, do you think someone should have the intension of changing the person their with or go with the flow even though it doesnt meet your critia>?....=====--- & if you love someone should something like that break you.
I believe people change, and when it comes to marriage i lead towards positive. In fact, both the men and women will change for certain after their first child... I believe you have enuff thoughts and comments to reflect back so do that and stay positive

*1

[Gacalisa]

well, if one doest like how a the person thier with is, then why would they even be with?


one can consider changing, but why would i even spend my time with someone if i want them to change to something they are not.


for one thing, Allah is the only one that can someone.


then again there is that great saying, "a woman will change for her man, but a man will change his woman".

[Frank]

Oh god did she really expect us to read all that and its only ---AM! Good god someone need to choke her. <ama give ma 2 cent later>

[The rebel]

People change when they want. No one can change any one. You only can support them and help them when they ask for.

[Sir-Luggoyo]

Lookz



What you need in your miserable life is a real radical Farah who would kick some senses into that "liberated" skull of yours. May the Almighty help you find him, and the sooner the better

[lookz]

[quote="Frank"]Oh god did she really expect us to read all that and its only ---AM! Good god someone need to choke her. <ama give ma 2 cent later>[/quote]

it might be am for you but for me it aint....
see that should give you hint of where i am in the world

[lookz]

[quote="Sir-Luggoyo"]Lookz



What you need in your miserable life is a real radical Farah who would kick some senses into that "liberated" skull of yours. May the Almighty help you find him, and the sooner the better[/quote]

AND WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THIS.. COZ I DONT SEEM TO INDERSTAND WHAT POINT YOU ARE TRYING TO MAKE

[Frank]

Sir Lugooyo sxb see now that is wrong walaahi, why do you wanna attack the sister like that? See this is the thing with Somalis why do we always assume things said by people actually reflects on themselves, she could have been just posting the topic to see how others felt about it too.

shame o shame when are Somalis gonna learn to respect one another.

Lookz, at least we both feel the same way, i ain't feeling ur afro too luv.

[Happy Desperado]

lookz,

there is no need of trying to change someone after you get married because it is impossible and even if you do succeed, there will be some resentment. however, i believe that you should share basic principles so that you may grow with one another.

and btw, i just hate it when a man tries to force his wife to were a hijab or a skirt when infact she wasnt when he proposed to her. its ridiculous

[Aiman]

"Secondly this goes out to the brotha's-- do you expect a female to change after you get married?--let me specify change; as in if she was wearing jeans when you met her and now that you married you want her to wear skirts only; her hair being covered but when in fact it wasnt when you first met her and deciced to propose?"


Ofcourse I would change her from a liberal or moderate (whatever she was before) to a conservative otherwise she is not a good wife material type. However I would never approach a Hijaabless lady for a mariage at first place but if and ONLY if I do, I would expect her to change the old life to a new one like the Christian say "born again Christian" ...I want her to be re born again Muslim.



"So then if that is the case; take me for instance, ( just for the record, i care less what opioions you already generated from)...but getting back to what i was saying...i'm very cultural and relgioious orientated, care my self with pride and dignity knowing my roots and as well as have the menatlity of a western>?"


What you mean about being a "western mentality"?
If you meant wearing jeanz and and staff and anti-men feminist group then that can not be a cultural oriented or Hijabified Muslimah with dignity. If you didn't meant that then disregard my comment.


""So what in fact makes me in diff from what he said?...i' mean he is not your regular shiek himselve but yet he demands his wife to have that plus more?...make sense to you ?...how i see it is simply if you're not all that you want in the other, dont bother to bring it up.---oh what i fail to say earlier was the fact that he wants a girl to wear a skirt simply because she doesnt come off as a "distrubted" not for relgious reason or any sort cuz if had he brought that up, i did have nothing to argue but just fact that he failed to say that; it extremely got me pist.---""


Well because tight jeanz or even jeanz in general is not our cultural for a girl I mean a respected girl to wear such. Even if the guy is not a "religious" he probably want cultural oriented girl not copy cat what western ladies do. At the same time the guy shouldn't copy cat what western men do especially the ghetto wanabes type (wearing bugy pants hip hop looking or tight pants look like hippies)


""---====-so i guess after all what am asking you is, do you think someone should have the intension of changing the person their with or go with the flow even though it doesnt meet your critia>?....=====--- ""


I think I already answered above yeah I believe they should change with my criteria I won't accept to "go with the flow" mentality.


PS: I will disregard about the generilization male intimadated by female...will pretend like I didn't read that.

[QansaGabeyle]

For someone your age, lookz, you talk about gender issues a bit too much.

[kambuli]

Sister Lookz,

I believe both genders love to change the person they are sharing life with. This may not be realistic, but even if they do not say it loud most of the people have that in their mind...

This is true because when people get married they do not have exactly the same personality, the same hobbies, the same preferences etc.

A good example is; I hate and do not like men who chew kat, but if I find myself in love with a guy who chews kat (God forbid) I would definitely entertain myself that I will encourage him to quit the Kat... In which I may fail and I may succeed....

The same way the guy may have never liked a sister who flashes out her beauty but he fell in love with her, even though she did not cover her self well... So he is just trying to encourage her to do so..... Nothing wrong with it.... But he should do so in a tactful way...

All depends how much they love each other... If she truly loves him she will do anything that makes him happy as long as it does not bother her a lot..

[lookz]

QansaGabeyle- and how do you know what my age is?

kambuli... i agree with you..

Aiman... i'm well aware of the codes and regulations of a muslim sistah but the point which you let your decisions elobrate further is and was "do you think an individual should get into a relationship w/ the intension to change the other"? I only brought other scerno's in order for you all to get a clear vision on the difference.

AND PLEASE, DISTINGUISH THE DIFFERENCE, I'M NOT BRINGING THE RELGION DOWN; HOW COULD I, I'M A MUSLIM FROM THE CRADLE TO THE CRAVE SO PLEASE DONT WRITE COMMENTS WHICH WILL BE UNUSEFUL TO YOU AND ME.--------& FOR YOU THE BROTHA'S THAT THINK THIS POST WAS MADE TO HATE BROTHA....LETS JUST SAY YOUR ASSUMPTIONS ARE WRONG. THERE'S NO REASON WHY INTELLECTUAL ARTISTIC NOMADS CAN EXCHANGE VIEWS.