SomaliNet Forums

Recently, I've noticed a trend. Two of my friends have gotten married this past year, they're both around my age, one is 23 and the other 26. Another one is getting married soon.

All of their husbands are atleast 6 yrs + older. Come to think of it, this is not a new thing, most Somali women go for older men. You'd think it'd be different since we're in the diaspora, but nowadays it's even more prominent.

Not only can't I say that I blame them but, I agree and would/will do the same, Inshallah.
Why, because a majority of younger guys are airheads. I think guys need a full range of experience to fully appreciate you as a woman. Then, and only then would they know how to treat you.

To be honest, it's not so much about the treatment as it is about their mental being and stage of their life. Because, most Somali guys are good to their lady friends. Altho it's said that women mature alot faster then men it's still interesting.

In gengeral, I've found that younger men calaacal too much. Oh but I want to go out with my friends, Oh how come we cant do something, Oh you forgot to call me. Chisas.


Anyway, my point is...when it comes to Somali men, what they say about wine is true...the older the better. Ofcourse not freakishly old.


Just food for thought.

i like younger dudes.i like my boys young.

Hannah, I totally agree with ya.

Men are generally immature, so the older they are the more likely they are going to be smarter about expressing their immaturity. That is not to say they still wonÂ’t act immaturely. One thing IÂ’ve noticed is that women that marry older guys generally end up staying married for longer. IÂ’ve seen girls that have married guys their own age and it is just sad, they end up breaking up a few months later.

M99, I think marrying younger guys also works. they are more likely to do what they are told. A guy your age however is more likely to lead to friction and break ups.

I agree. Younger guys are fun to hang out and go out with but for the most part, when it gets serious they're not that interesting.

[quote="*HannaH*"] I think guys need a full range of experience to fully appreciate you as a woman. [/quote]

Actually, they don't. And you are guilty of painting all 'guys' with a broad stroke. No 2 men are wired the same way, why expect they behave similarly.

Of course, all of this has VERY little to do with age and more to do with MONEY AND improving life expectancy. A 30 yr old American is YOUNG, where as his African counterpart is VERY old. Know why? Life Expectancy! Longer life expectancy stretches out adulthood. Average life expectancy in the West is like 75, where as Somalia is like 45 or there about. 20 yr old Westerner is a teenager, a kid and RIGHTLY so. In somalia, such man is expected to be married and have children.


BTW, recent study showed that more Western women are giving birth at older age than any time before. I think the average in Canada is like 29-30, that is the 1st child!

Dhusa Dheer,Ofcourse I am painting "with the same brush" leave it to a younger guy to say that. LOL, and why are you telling me about Westerners? and Life Expectancy? I was talking about Somali men, I don't see what ajnabi's living longer has anything to do with what I said.



Anyway, it's a fact, not just a presonal preference. Relax marka, you don't always have to try to proove something.



Demure and Eyes, right on!

dd....we go by the somalian way.the average age for giving birth is 18?



iam not including ,i plan to have my kids at later age.

Sheesh. We get it, you need a man who's saved up some money. Women are all after one thing-Financial security. And Ms. HannaH is no different. She wants to sit on her ass and shop when she is bored. When did Somalinet become The Sally Jesse Raphael Show?

In about 10 years, i will not like what i'm about to say but older guys :

-are usually out of shape, though most girls these days want "buff" guy who attends the gym often
-they are old school. They have the mentality that the woman's place is in the kitchen. You will be changing diapers while he sips espresso at Starbucks or Towfiiq Halaal.
-They will expiereince impotence (something every man experience at least once) much quicker. While you, the woman, are at your sexual peak, he will be tired of sex. Younger guys are still at their peak.
-When it comes to bed, younger men are likely to try new things, while oldies don't even believe in kissing or holding hands in public.
-They die waaaaaay before you. Even the young guys will die before you. Why go for an oldie who will die quarter of century before you do?

If your dream is to be a housewife with no sex life and failed marriage-go for the oldies i.e, Galol, Sir Luggoyo, Cawar and Michael-ital

If you, on the other hand, want a explosive sex life, fun marriage, dining out, walks on the beach, chocolate and flowers as gifts and divorce with a pre-nup (incase you make more money than him), then go for the young guys..on this site, i'm the only young guy. The rest are immature or still ma baaluqin.

Hannah,

Marriage is like some putting his hand in a dark hole, a snake can bite you and you can find a diamond...

It is true that girls mature earlier than men...But also it depends what you mean by older men.... I think up to six yrs is reasonable...

A man who has not been married before is always better than the man who was married... Because you never know what his ex taught him

Some people also believe a mature experienced( married before) is better than the Khabar Maafish one.....

But only Allaah knows which one will be better....

Also some people look old even though they are not old.... I would rather marry a 36 yrs old who looks very young, healthy and strong than a 25 yrs old who looks already old and kala daatay.....

But for me I will never marry a man who is younger than me even for 4 yrs.....

" i'm the only young guy. The rest are immature or still ma baaluqin."



its not so much that xalimos want older men but that its the somali way for faaraxs to marry a girl 3-6 years younger si eeysan dhaqso ooga kala daadan.

LionHeart.

Ofcourse I not only want but need financial security, as would any woman in their right mind. I know someone who had a baby and went to work a month later, at a gas statation...night shift! Ka waran....and by the way her husband is older....so is she but thats besides the point.


Lion, as a younger guy...you wouldn't understand what Im trying to say. There is more to life then looks and an explosive sex life, and eating out....Be serious dude.



Bisinka, I just meant to write something I was thinking about.....I didn't mean inay nimankan yar yari ka qadhaadhan.......Walle kii yidhi truth hurts been muu sheegin...

"If your dream is to be a housewife with no sex life and failed marriage-go for the oldies i.e, Galol, Sir Luggoyo, Cawar and Michael-ital"

Waryaa Jaylani all these guys in the list are older than me, however I tend to agree with Hannah men are like wine.

BTW...I dont think younger than 30 is a good age to marry as a man but older than 35 or worse 40 is a big no no too.

[quote="*HannaH*"]Dhusa Dheer,Ofcourse I am painting "with the same brush" leave it to a younger guy to say that. LOL, and why are you telling me about Westerners? and Life Expectancy? I was talking about Somali men, I don't see what ajnabi's living longer has anything to do with what I said. [quote]

You live in the West, the Somali men you're detracting live in the West. The problem is you are, all the while, romanticizing and clinging to mores of a culture that is no longer relavent!

Somali marriage/social customs no longer apply where they don't hold sway -- namely in the West. Every somali in the West is subject to the same forces and social customs as every other Westerner. It's a indisputable fact that 30 IS young for a land where the average man expects to live till in his mid 70s. So, when you analyse Somalis in the diaspora without taking into account life expectancy and the fact it is exceedingly expensive to get married and raise a family, you form less than accurate depecition.

If you were talking about Somalis back home, forget about all I said.




[quote]Relax marka, you don't always have to try to proove something.[quote]

Yawn! Perennial drama queen, aren't ya?

cawar

wiillkiis dhale baad rabtaa inaad noqoto.