LET START WITH FUNNY JOKES......

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HELWAA
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LET START WITH FUNNY JOKES......

Post by HELWAA »

HERE IS MINE Laughing

Here is the story of an imam who got up after friday prayers and announced to the people:

''I have good news and bad news .The good news is,we have enough money to pay for our new building program.The bad news,its still out there in your pockets''.

COME ON PPLE...........LETS HEAR SOME FUNNY JOKS TONIGHT Very Happy
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Post by HELWAA »

1. The Prophet used to smile, rather than laugh ...

He generally used to smile rather than laughing Aisha, wife of the Messenger of Allah (p) said: I never saw the Messenger of Allah (p) laugh fully to such an extent that I could see his uvula. He would only smile, ... [Sunan Abu Dawood, Vol. 3, #5079] [Note: Whether he smiled or laugh depended on the situation as illustrated by the Hadiths quoted below.]



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Post by HELWAA »

. The Prophet's smile and companions' laughing sessions ...

Narrated Jabir ibn Samurah: Simak ibn Harb asked Jabir ibn Samurah, "Did you sit in the company of the Messenger of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) ?" He said: Yes, very often. He (the Prophet) used to sit at the place where he observed the morning or dawn prayer till the sun rose or when it had risen; he would stand, and they (his Companions) would talk about matters (pertaining to the days) of ignorance, and they would laugh (on these matters) while (the Prophet) only smiled. [Sahih Muslim, #1413]



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Post by HELWAA »

The Prophet (s) used to laugh too; sometimes till his front teeth were exposed...

Hadhrat Abu Dhar reported that the Prophet (s) said: "I know the last of inhabitants of Paradise to enter it and the last of the inhabitants of Hell to come out it. He is a man who would be brought on the Day of Resurrection and it will be said: Present his minor sins to him, and withhold from him his serious sins. Then the minor sins would be placed before him, and it would be said: On such and such day you did so and so and on such and such day you did so and so. He would say: Yes. It will not be possible for him to deny, while he would be afraid lest serious sins should be presented before him. It would be said to him: In place of every evil deed you will have good deed. He will (then) say: My Lord! I have done things that I do no see here." I indeed saw the Mesenger of Allah laugh till his front teeth were exposed. [Sahih Muslim, Vol. 1, #365]


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Post by Ashlee~ »

"The Prophet (s) used to laugh too; sometimes till his front teeth were exposed..."

I laugh sometimes till my black gums are exposed Laughing
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Post by HELWAA »

No laughing mater! The unusual command to make parents laugh...

Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: A man came to the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) and said: I came to you to take the oath of allegiance to you on emigration, and I left my parents weeping. He (the Prophet) said: Return to them and make them laugh as you made them weep. [Sunan Abu Dawood, Vol. 2, #2522]

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Post by HELWAA »

[quote="Ashlee~"]"The Prophet (s) used to laugh too; sometimes till his front teeth were exposed..."

I laugh sometimes till my black gums are exposed Laughing[/quote]

Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Post by HELWAA »

"Two ears" address!

Anas said: The Prophet (s) addressed me as: O you with the two ears! [Sunan Abu Dawood, Vol. 3, #4984]

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Post by HELWAA »

Last Hadith/a. The interesting tale about the last man to enter the Paradise... Shocked Shocked Shocked

Sad Narrated Ibn Mas'ud: Verily the Messenger of Allah said: The last to enter Paradise would be a man who would walk once, stumble once and be burnt by the Fire once. Then when he passes beyond it, he will turn to it and say: Blessed is He Who has saved me from thee. Allah has given me something He has not given to any one of those in earlier or later times.

Then a tree would be raised for him and he will say: O my Lord! Bring me near this tree so that I may take shelter in its shade and drink of its water. Allah, the Exalted and Great, would say: O son of Adam, if I grant you this, you will ask Me for something else. He would say: No, my Lord. And he would promise Him that he would not ask for anything else. His Lord would excuse him because He sees what he cannot help desiring; so He would bring him bear it, and he would take shelter in its shade and drink of its water. Afterwards a tree more beautiful than the first would be raised before him and he would say: O my Lord! Bring me near this tree in order that I may drink of its water and take shelter in its shade and I shall not ask Thee for anything else. He (Allah) would say: O son of Adam, if I bring you near it you may ask me for something else. He would promise Him that he would not ask for anything else. His Lord will excuse him because He sees something he cannot help desiring. So He would bring him near it and he would enjoy its shade and drink its water.

Then a tree would be raised for him at the gate of Paradise, more beautiful than the first two. He would say: O my Lord! Bring me near this (tree) so that I may enjoy its shade and drink from its water. I shall not ask Thee for anything else. He (Allah) would say: O son of Adam! Did you not promise Me that you would not ask Me for anything else? He would say: Yes my Lord, but I shall not ask Thee for anything else. His Lord would excuse him for He sees something the temptation of which he could not resist.

He (Allah) would bring him near it, and when He brings him near it he would hear the voices of the inhabitants of the Paradise. He would say: O my Lord! Admit me to it. He (Allah) would say: O son of Adam, what will bring an end to your requests to Me? Will it please you if I give you the whole world and a similar one with it? He will say: O my Lord! Art Thou mocking at me, though Thou art the Lord of the worlds?

Ibn Mas'ud laughed and asked (the hearers): Why don't you ask me what I am laughing at. They (then) said: Why do you laugh? He said: It is in this way that the Messenger of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) laughed. They (the companions of the Holy Prophet) asked: Why do you laugh, Messenger of Allah? He said: On account of the laugh of the Lord of the universe, when he (the desirer of Paradise) said: Art Thou mocking at me though Thou art the Lord of the worlds? He would say: I am not mocking at you, but I have the power to do whatever I wish. [Sahih Muslim, Vol. 1, #359, 361]
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Post by Nagin »

Question Question Confused okay.......

How about some MoMMA JOKES.........

Your momma is so ghetto her wedding cake was made of corn bread.

Your momma is so ghetto everytime she has her day off from work she runs to the swap meet to shop left during the brad day light...and if yo ask her why "Fock there anit no camera around...." Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Post by Cawar »

^^ Shocked Confused Arrow
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Post by HELWAA »

A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totaled. "My BMW! My BMW!" he sobbed.

A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, "Sir, sir, you're bleeding! And my god, your left arm is gone!"

The lawyer, horrified, screamed "My Rolex! My Rolex!"

Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Post by HELWAA »

[quote="Nagin"]:?: Question Confused okay.......

How about some MoMMA JOKES.........

Your momma is so ghetto her wedding cake was made of corn bread.

Your momma is so ghetto everytime she has her day off from work she runs to the swap meet to shop left during the brad day light...and if yo ask her why "Fock there anit no camera around...." Laughing Laughing Laughing[/quote]



Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Post by HELWAA »

[quote="Cawar"]^^ Shocked Confused Arrow[/quote]


COME ON............DONT YOU EVEN JOKE OR LAUGH Shocked Shocked Laughing
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Post by Cawar »

^^From the prophet to momma jokes..thats quite a transformation in one thread... Very Happy
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