-Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolat.
-Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.
- Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting: "Yeah, baby, push it!" "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!" "Another set and we can hit the showers." " Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"
-Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally beaten and killed by his fellow partygoers.
-Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
-You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call bullshit. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)
- If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.
-The maximum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
-No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional.
-Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sexx with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.
-Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return is required to grant it.
-Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and, more importantly, the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
- If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem-you didn't see nothin'.
-Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
- A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
-If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.
-Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.
-If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.
26. A man may never watch mens gymnastics or ice skating.
27. A man must know how to handle a firearm. If he does not, all masculinity shall and will be immediately revoked. You can only redeem yourself by purchasing a firearm and letting your manlier friends shoot it.
- A man can only cry under the following conditions...
1. A heroic Samurai died to save its master
2. Angelina Jolie begins unbuttoning her blouse
3. One hour 37 min and 12 secs into the crying game
4. When she uses her teeth
