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     | Saturday, January 13, 2001 - 02:04 am I am sure there are a lot of ppl share the same problem I have. every time that I find some I like, I will question myself constant the core of the relationship which will lead me not to be sure of myself. I have no problem finding someone decent that is dating material, but when the relation is becoming more serious that when my problems arise. Am I afraid to be tight down?? or there could be something else. No thinks anything funny such as if I am confuse my sexuality that has nothing to do with this. I love women more that anything. It is becoming to the point that I am wishy-wishy to get into any relationship because I don't want to end up hurting anyone. Please advice, no rude language? Thanks in advance
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| | Saturday, January 13, 2001 - 07:45 am well well i am a lucky man, i am the first guy who is gona give you advice and i hope my advice well change ur life. i feel you, i have exactly the same problem that u having, afraid to be tight down, afraid if the relationship gets seruois and then wat marrieg ofcourse. don't ever jump realtionship with somali girls, coz some times they get very seroius, i am not trying to offending any girl and this is the truth. if u wana have relationship with somali girl, u have to wait till miss right comes along, but if u r a player u know wat to do. the point i am trying to make here is, u seem like someone who is honest, u r not a player, so my last word is wait for miss right. till next time take care and respect other somali
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| | Saturday, January 13, 2001 - 09:24 am you are right on that anon..there is numerous ppl with that same problem of commitment...i am also in the same boat u are and i got to the stage of being scared of getting in another relationship just for the fact of hurting anyone..frankly the answer as disapointing as it sounds lies on yourself...u have to figure out ur fear of commitment..and remember to not so much question ur relationship but just take as it goes along another reason could just be u haven't yet met miss right cuz when u do there would be no doubts in ur mind!!! so dont stress cuz that just makes the situation more confusing believe me iam defently speaking of experience here..lol anyways iam sure miss right will be knocking on ur door..i hope i have helped a little with this dilemma of urs if there is anything else u wanna know then just holla back take care
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| | Saturday, January 13, 2001 - 04:14 pm If you don't take a chance and try to commitee to someone you really like and enjoy their company you would never know who the right person is. Make the efford to be with someone long enough to know wheather they're for you or not. And for the record not every girl wants to meet a guy and marry him right away. We 2 have other important priority in mind other than marriage. Find someone you think is compatiable with you and tell her what you want in the relationship. But you might as well get married so you can get over the fear of committiment. I guess I should take my own advise and be with someone long enough to see if we match or not.
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| | Sunday, January 14, 2001 - 03:32 am ayusuf Kandi, concerned sista, jabrill, I appreciate all of you for taking the time by trying to help this brother in need. I guess it is true when they say "love jones hurt". To make a long story short, all of you raised valid concerns, and at same time showed a great deal of concern. Please allow me to be more clear on the gray area that I seem to be having difficulties with. 1st to reiritate once again that I don't have problem finding someone, for crying out load, in fairness I am a good looking brotha (6'1" tall 180 lbs) well built, college graduate with a nice house in mid 20's. Don't mean to advertise myself here just trying to make a point. 2ndly, ofcaorse you have be someone length enough amount time before thinking about settling down. Having that said, My problems starts after been the same person year or more or relation to gear more of "what next". Sure, it is not a suffient excuse to jump into marriage or use it as escape goat. Nonetheless, I deeply care about or you might called it "strong feelings" these relationships. Ofcourse everyone says "you will know when the right ones comes along" in my opinion that is punch of crap. Because you don't sophicated with delusion of the moment, it is more like taking a mortage@lol. Well, quite honestly no noe has all their lives just to wait around until that person to come around, sure you significant other doesn't make you a complete person, but it definitely makes attractive the family picture if you are following me. In this westernize world, there comes a time that you will be sick of being "Playa" just simply want to settle down. Although bad habits are to cut, if you don't reality will hit your ass when you at least expected. Retrospect, I will soon enough settle down hopefully end of this year. i am dating a wonderful Soamlian sista that understands more that anyone ever did my life excluding my mom@lol. Once again thanks all your help
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| | Tuesday, January 16, 2001 - 09:59 am BRO I must say that ya sound really nice guy and the face of commitment is that we should respeact people engouh to tell some one how ya truelly feel. for some reason i have the same problem too and what i have found out about my slef is that people like us know what type of person we wanna settle with. i also know that i want to have nice great guy next to me one day? i reallly don't date that much due to the fact that i can't commitmet hay i am out here take care
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| | Tuesday, January 16, 2001 - 10:44 am What a bunch of idiots, the guy is looking for someone to take care of him (Financially), that is why he is afraid of marriage. But frankly, brothers marriage is a wonderfull thing, and I don't see why you all shouldn't be married. By for now.
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| | Wednesday, January 17, 2001 - 03:29 pm ayusuf, You idiot "reality checker". Let me give you a piece of my mind. Just for the record I am well off financially because at age 25, I have a professional job (Electrical Engineer" and secondly I have my own house $200,000 property. So I don't need any to take of me, and that wasn't the point I intended.
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| | Wednesday, January 24, 2001 - 04:31 am I hope this will help u out, Mr anony.... The reason u feel this way(afraid of commitment) is maybe because u are not sure about the person, u do not think they are the ONE for u as much as u love them maybe u can do without them and that is exactly what u need to know. There are few Q's u need to ask yourself: 1) do u think about the person all the time? 2) when u see/ speak to them do u feel happy? 3) do they make u smile ? 4) do they understand u? 5) do they love u as much / more? 6) do you find that u can't wait to see them? 7) do they make u feel specail? 8) do u find yourself comparing them to every1 else and no one makes u feel that way? 9) do u know that if u let it go 2day that u won't regret 2morrow? 10) do u need the person and do u want them in your life? If the answers to all these Q's r yes then i see no reason for u to be afraid off commitment if some u are not sure or the answer is no then they are not the "ONE" or u just need more time to think??????? DO U AGREE?
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| | Wednesday, January 24, 2001 - 04:44 am Hey anonymous where you at man so you can give me a grand tour of you 200,000 property, and aren't you going over the top with the 200,000 I know Elecrical Engineers don't make that much money while they're in there mid 20's. But hey I aint mad at you..just happy for you. And if you ever need someone to take advantage of you good fortune give me a shout(smile) just kidding. Hey good luck in committing and all. You don't really need to commite or get married not everyone is up to that task or do good in that department...stay cool man
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| | Friday, January 26, 2001 - 07:26 pm Somaliwonder and Kandi, It was a sweet of you to give a such a nice comments, Kandi dear...I didn't meant to brag about my personeel live but I was carried away with some of the cynical comments ppl asked, in way they are talking a cheap shot at me. Besides, honey no one can own 200,000 house in this country or if they can what is the reason when they can claim the interest tax dedutble. So, have you ever heard what is called "mortage". Yep that is how ppl get by these days. Anyhow you are always welcome for to show you around just state you location, then we can make araangements. No. stfring attached@lol. However, Enginners in this country take advange what is called "stock options" that is how they make their fortune just incase if you weren't aware of it.
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