Snet fam....would you tell????

[original dervish]

I'll try and keep this as short as possible fam....can't stand the long winded stuff.

A cuz of mine has been chatting to a female in Holland..apparently they in love and wanna marry.
Her fam wanted to meet my cuz so he arranged to visit them over a weekend.

His brother pulled out for some reason or other so I stepped in.....free weekend in Holland is just what I needed.

We get to the house in Utrecht/Biltoven nice welcome good food etc...after coffees most people leave.

Now its just me my cuz and three women in the room....they wearing hijabs and jilbabs etc....one had a niqab on.

Now I'm chatting with my cuz's prospective wife and it suddenly dawns on me that I know this woman.

UK folk will know this....about 10 years back there was a invasion of "Euro trash" a lot of young girls who liked to get drunk, high and smashed. This woman I was talking to was one such person from back in the day with whom I had a brief dalliance.

She realised who I was ,back in the day I wasn't so folically challenged, and soon left the room.

Anyhow....she comes back after a while and chats with my cuz while I'm chatting with the niqabi. After some small talk we get up to leave.

We get back to the Hotel and my cuz is gushing about how fine and lovely his prospective wife is.....I'm like yeah man you gotta a fine one there.

My cuz is having an early night....one of his best days of his life, his words, im catching a taxi into Utrecht. I was last in the city some 8 years back and wanted to pass through a few coffee shops.

I get to one such establishment and order some freshly squeezed orange juice and sensi.
After a 45mins the place packs out, it's Saturday, a lot of student types, eghnics etc.

I notice some black girls dressed like they going out and think nothing of it.....a few minutes later as I came out of the gents I passed one of the girls and we made eye contact.....yes it was my cuz's betrothed.

She took me to where she was sitting introduced me to her friends.....the niqabi was there, minus the niqab of course.

Some guys turned up and they were all going to some club....they insisted I come but I politely declined and left.

She never once said not to tell or tried explaining anything and respected her for that.

I got back to the hotel and my cuz was fast asleep with a smile on his face.The next day we left.

Now I'ved ask the question even though I know the answer......I'm not saying nothing about nothing.
I've never been into hoe hating.....girls get a rough deal in that respect......and I've always been of the opinion that if a Somali girl gives you some the least you can do is keep your mouth shut.

PS the niqabi is coming to London over the summer.

[Jabuutawi]

This is better than the soap operas that come on TV wasteland America in the mornings. Do continue.

Ask yourself what if things were switched around, your cuz use to bone 🦴 this girl and never told you about their past relations. He should at least know that her past life is still very much part of her present’s. That is a deal breaker for me, she hasn’t recanted her sordid lifestyle.

[original dervish]

Sxb....I wouldn't have a problem if a friend had "boned" a prospective wife of mine.

A girl having sex is not real a deal breaker for me.
If she was a full blown whore then maybe.....that being said I know of some women who spent a great deal of their formative years with their legs behind their ears, and are now happily married .

It's best to judge, if you have to judge, a person on their present rather than their past.

[paperino]

You should tell him the truth.

[original dervish]

What....my truth ?
He has his own truth and that is the only truth that matters.

[Turbulence]

Why were they wearing hijabs when you guys met them? Are they trying to present themselves as something they are not? That is pathetic and you should run away from someone like that. If your cousin is not aware of this side of his wife to be and he is being deceived then the right thing to do would be to tell him because this is a marriage that is bound to fail in few years time anyway. Nothing built on deception ever works. It will be even worse then because there will be kids in involved and break ups and divorces are always messy when kids are involved. If he is aware then clearly he doesn't have any problems with it so don't say anything. Without being completely obvious I would try to find out if he is okay with wiving a girl like that. Maybe he prefers them that way.

[jannoman]

The reason your cuz bro pulled out and you unexpectedly filled his place to go with your cuz is i guess was your cuz is a good person and Allah wanted to save his ass from this marriage thru u.....even the girl (the bride to be doesn't give a shit) and in her own way she wants you to inform him.........for everyone concerned including i think you should tell him how things were/are.......then if he still goes ahead with it and he gets hurt you might feel sorry for him but won't blame yourself.......i think that is the reason destiny involved you in this....

[Jaamacbuuhoodle]

Original Dervish : have you ever gotten pregnant !! ,, I mean what's your STORY lolz

[original dervish]

I've never been one to tell tales....rating, informing , grassing has never been a look of mine and I aint about to start now.

Too many Somali folk are sanctimonious priks....that's one of the reasons so many girls run into the arms of other ethnic groups.

Many a time I been told by girls/women that they don't check for Somali's because of all the bullshit.

I can respect the man who remains celibate for religious reasons....but all too often the guy's who out there "hoe hating"....are drought stricken dusty mf, who haven't tasted pus sy since their ma pushed them out.

[GeoSeven]

Keep it to yourself. Could almost relate but man...that's your cousin who you're apparently close to. Nevertheles, keep it to yourself. Granted, it's awkward for you. But assuming she is genuinely invested in your cousin, it's a choice between awkwardness for you or potential anguish for her.

[original dervish]

It's not awkward for me at all.....that night when I met her in the coffee shop we were chatting away like we were old friends.

I would have taken up the offer to go clubbing if I wasn't stoned.....plus Time has caught up with me.
PS I wasn't interested in her.....the niqabi.

[Cunaaye25]

OD- do the right thing, sit down with your cousin, explain to him as a man to men, without hurting his pride.

You could save his life, and his soul, it will be unjust if you didn't.

Waagi hore, if a men/ women wanted to get married, your parents will do the detective job,findings the history of that person.

times has changed, but still keep the tradition alive.

[original dervish]

Nah man.....they're already too far along.
Everything has been arranged....the families have met and agreed....a date has been set for later this year.

The Mehr and qadar will be in London....the aroos in Holland.

My cuz has asked me to be best man (Somali version) and I've accepted.

[gobdoon]

Should you have a word with her and find out if she is a changed woman

[theyuusuf143]

If he he is not religious he can handle her . It depends on his lifestyle. Not all crazy girls are bad . Actually they are better than normal boring xaliimos. If you tell him anything , he may think that you are xaasid .